His Eyes
by anneryn7
Summary: Everything about him enchants me. My Mom married his Dad. No one knows I've fallen in love with him. He's the one thing I can't have, and the one thing that I long for. Please review if you read! My first Life with Derek fanfic. Dizzie
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: This is my first **_**Life with Derek**_** fanfic; I hope you enjoy it!! PLEASE REVIEW! This is rated T for now, but I might move it to M for later chapters. Thank you to hazelbire13 for proofing it for me!! Let me know what you think! Please be kind. Keep in mind: whether you love it, hate it, or are indifferent, I won't be offended or hold it against you, AS LONG AS YOU REVIEW!!**

**~Anneryn**

**I DO NOT OWN LIFE WITH DEREK (I can dream though, can't I?)**

**Music Credit: Journey – Wheel in the sky, Journey – Don't Stop Believin'**

Chapter One:

I can't get his eyes out of my mind. They are permanently etched in my memory. I feel him when he's not around. The smirk that his lips form, that's often attached to his face. Everything about him enchants me. He's my desire that can never be fulfilled. I love his arrogance, and his attitude, and his wit. I hated all of these things about him at first. He brought out an unnatural rage in me, that I never understood.

My Mom married George. She's been married before, but she and my Dad split up. The two of them together was a joke in itself. They never got along. Something always started an argument. When they split up, I was so relieved. I missed my father, but I basked in the peace that followed his absence. My sister Casey didn't handle it as well. She was convinced that Mom and Dad were going to get back together. Eventually, she accepted it.

Mom and George got engaged. They introduced us all later. George has three children: Derek, Edwin, and Marti. We barely saw each other until the wedding. Mom and George never did go on a honeymoon. With five kids, sometimes it's impossible. I was 13 when they got married. Casey was 16, Derek was 16, Edwin was 14, and Marti was 5.

I like George. He isn't the same as my father, but who would expect him to be? I love that he has a sense of humor. It's something my own father never had. If he did, he didn't let it show. Not around us. He treats me and Casey like we are his daughters. Derek and Casey don't get along. Occasionally they help each other out. I think that they act like typical brothers and sisters.

I was never girly like Casey. Edwin quickly became my best friend, and my partner in crime. It was nice to have someone around who understood me. Marti lives in her own world. She is sweet, and imaginative. I've never met a smarter 5 year old, or a little girl as perceptive as she is. My Mom, Nora, is like a mom to the Venturi kids. And then there's Derek. He's something else entirely.

It might have been the fact that I had grown up with Casey as my older sister. Or maybe, it could have been something else completely. When I met him, I could not stand anything about him. I was always pleasant to him, though. But, he drove me mad. I could not for the life of me understand why he drove me crazy.

One day he was playing tonsil hockey with his girlfriend of the night on the couch. I walked in on them. I blushed, and went back upstairs as quickly as I could. When I reached my room, I shut my door. I slid to the floor, with my back to the door. I felt a pang of jealousy. That's when it hit me. I had feelings for my stepbrother. Everything inside of me screamed that it was wrong. But, was it? I've only known him for a few months.

I knew that he was good looking. And, let's face it: that is the understatement of the decade. It was one of the things that irked me about him. He just rubbed me the wrong way. After I realized what I was feeling, I became an expert at concealing how I felt about him. There is always a small ache in my gut, when I see him with someone else. They were strong feelings for a 13 year old. I was too young to understand love. Three and half years later and nothing has changed.

I turned 17 a few months back. I'm a senior in high school. At least I will be. Summer is almost over. There is only a month and half left. Casey and Derek are both sophomores in college. No one expected Derek to actually go to college. I wasn't surprised. I knew he had it in him. He just needed the motivation to do it. He's smarter than everyone gives him credit for.

Derek and Casey are home for the summer. I'm glad that they are back. I've missed them both. At first, I thought that him leaving was a blessing in itself. It was my chance to finally get over him. My plan wasn't successful in any way. After awhile, it got easier. But, every time he came home to visit, it was worse. Everything that I bottled up, and I tried to erase, came flooding back. The feelings were always slightly stronger than they were before.

He talks to me more than he used to. He says that he actually misses being here. Hockey keeps him pretty busy. It was the main reason that he decided to go to college. He told me that if I told anyone that he missed it here, I'd regret it. I knew he was kidding, but it's nice talking with him nonetheless.

This summer is different than the other visits. He hasn't brought a girl home. That's never happened before, not with Derek. He was with Sally for the longest time. For whatever reason, they split up. None of us ever found out the reasoning behind the split. He's been different this summer. He's been nicer to everyone, but he's still his normal smartass, funny self. He even gets along with Casey some of the time. He's growing up, and it shows.

He turned 20 about a month ago. He beat Casey by a couple of weeks. He never lets her forget that he's the older one. Edwin's a year older than I am, but we're in the same grade. After we met, he let the fact that he was the older one, go to his head. So, I let him know that I was the smarter one. A knock on my bedroom door brought me back to reality, and out of my thoughts. I looked over at my clock. It's only 7:34 in the morning. I groaned. Who's up this early?

"Come in," I answered as I sat up. Casey opened the door and poked her head in. "You up Liz?" She asked. "Well, since I answered the door…" I said obviously. Casey smiled. She's always been the pretty one. I've never really tried to be girly like her. Over the years, I'd gotten more girly. It's still nowhere close to Casey.

I'd gotten taller, though, not by much. I'm only 5'5". Casey still has a couple of inches on me. I don't think I'll be getting any taller. I'd even filled out, some. I have some curves now. I let my hair grow out, it's long and wavy. It's a little darker than Casey's. The only real difference in our hair, is that mine has a few thin streaks of blue in it. My Mom was against it, but Casey took me to get it done for my birthday. She told Mom that it brought out my blue eyes. For whatever reason, Mom was suddenly okay with it.

Casey has stepped up for a lot of things that my mom was too busy for. Casey took me bra shopping, for the first time. Casey was more excited about it, than I was. I didn't think it was a huge deal. I mean, it meant that I stopped wearing sports bras, and I got real ones. I didn't really think that it was a huge difference. Casey told me that since we were the same size, we could share bras, if I ever needed to borrow one of her's. The only problem with that theory is that I'm smaller around than Casey.

Casey started talking, and brought me back from my thoughts, again. I really need to stop spacing out. "I wanted to know if you wanted to go running with me." She said. I grimaced. "It's 7:30, can't we go running later?" I asked her. She shook her head. She pouted. "Please, Liz," she whined. I stood up. "Fine, but let me brush my teeth first." I told her. She nodded. "I'm going to go change. We can get breakfast when we get back." She said excitedly. I nodded.

I got up, and made my way to the bathroom. I opened the door and got hit by face full of steam. Maybe Casey just got out the shower. But, why would she leave the light on? I turned on the sink, and started to brush my teeth. Our bathroom has two parts. When you open the door, there is a long counter top, a sink, and a mirror. You open another door inside of the bathroom, and there is the toilet and the shower. I like it this way, it gives us more privacy. We need it with a family this big.

I grabbed my toothbrush, and started brushing my teeth. I rinsed out my toothbrush, and put it back on the shelf behind me. We each have our own shelf in the bathroom, to store our toiletries. "Lizzie? What are you doing in here?" I heard Derek ask from behind me. Wait, how did Derek get in here? I turned around. Derek has a towel wrapped around his waist. His hair is dripping water into his eyes. I bit my lip. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know that anyone was in here." I apologized hurriedly.

I can feel myself blushing. Derek nodded. "It's fine, Liz." He said, smirking. He's never going to let me live this down. I turned and left. I closed the bathroom door behind me. I went back to my room, and shut the door tightly behind me. I sat down on my bed. "I cannot believe I just did that." I muttered to myself. I raked my fingers through my hair.

I got up and grabbed a pair of running shorts from my dresser. I got a tank top out of my closet, and grabbed a shorts bra, and a clean pair of underwear. I shrugged off my pajama pants, and my panties. I dropped them both in my hamper, and put on my clean panties. I peeled off my shirt. I put my sports bra on. "Hey Liz, I…" I turned around at the sound of Derek's voice. He's still only dressed in the towel. I didn't hear him come in, or close my door.

I looked at him. What does he want? "Derek, what are you doing in here…?" I asked him quietly. He cleared his throat. "You took the toothpaste with you, when you left the bathroom." He explained. I looked down at my hand. He's right, I had taken the toothpaste. I didn't even realize that I was still clutching it in my hand. I was so preoccupied thinking about Derek. I handed it to him. I looked at it for a second, and then took it from me.

"Thanks Lizard," Derek teased. Casey and Mom have taken to calling me Lizard. Derek normally doesn't. He has his own nickname for me. If he calls me by a nickname, it's "Z". No one else calls me "Z", I prefer it that way. "No problem Derek." I told him. I stood there awkwardly waiting for him to leave. He didn't, he just stood there. "Is there anything else?" I asked him. "Casey is making me go to the mall with her later, I wanted to know, if you would go with us, and save me the torture." He asked. I smirked. "Sure, I guess." I told him. He nodded, and left my room.

I went to close my door behind him. I tried not to stare as he walked away. But, damn is he a nice view. I went back into the bathroom and smiled at me. I avoided his gaze. "I hope you put something over that before you go running with Space Case, Z." He said nonchalantly. I tried not to blush, but felt myself failing miserably. "That was the idea." I told him before closing the door. I threw my tank top on, and ran a brush through my hair. I put on deodorant, and went to find Casey.

---------------------------------------------------Later---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We've been running for 7 blocks now. I feel so out of shape. Since I don't have soccer in the summer, I haven't been running everyday like I normally would, during the season. Still, it feels nice to have the pavement under me. I love the adrenaline rush from pushing myself forward. For awhile, I feel untouchable. Casey started to slow down. She slowed all the way to a walking pace. I slowed too. She's out of breath. I can barely hear her panting over my own.

She looked over at me and smiled. "Thanks for running with me, Lizard. I've missed this." She said. I gave her a weak smile and nodded as I took a swig from my water. I ran my fingers through my hair. It's a nervous habit… I guess it's just a habit, in itself. Casey pulled her hair back into a loose bun before we left. I know that a lot of people run with their hair up. I can't do it. I love the way the wind feels in my hair. It feels like heaven. "Me too Case, ready to head back?" I asked. She nodded.

We turned around and started running.

-------------------------------------------------Meanwhile-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Derek's POV

I'm surprised that Z was up so early. I doesn't surprise me that Casey would wake her up, just to run with her, though. What I didn't expect was to find Lizzie in the bathroom earlier. At first I wasn't sure if I was imagining things or not. I mean, why would I want Lizzie in the bathroom with me? Not that I would mind it, if it was a purely non-perverted way…

------------------------------------------Later, back at the house---------------------------------------------------------------

Lizzie's POV

"Breakfast?" Casey asked me. I shook my head. "After I shower." I told her. She nodded. "You take ours; I'll ask George if I can use the one downstairs." She said. I nodded. I walked upstairs. I grabbed some clothes from my room, and headed to the bathroom. I checked to make sure that no one was in there, before turning on the shower and discarding my clothes. I looked at the clock on the bathroom wall. It's 10:15. Everyone is awake by now. For whatever reason, Edwin never sleeps passed 9, and Marti always gets up reasonably early. Mom is at work, and George has to be at work soon.

I locked the bathroom door, and turned on the radio. I made sure that the water was hot, and I stepped in the shower. I sighed. The hot water feels so good, cascading over my body. Music is filling the bathroom. I started singing along softly. There's nothing like singing in the shower, and dancing while no one else is around.

_Ooh, the wheel in the sky keeps on turnin'_

_I don't know where I'll be tomorrow_

_Wheel in the sky keeps on turnin'_

_I've been trying to make it home_

_Got to make it, before too long_

_Ooh, I can't take this very much longer, no_

_I'm stranded in a sleet of rain_

_Don't think I'm ever gonna make it home again_

_The mornin' sun is risin'_

_It's kissin' the day_

I jumped. Someone's knocking on the door loudly. "LIZZIE! CAN YOU OPEN THE DOOR?! I NEED TO SHAVE!" Edwin shouted from outside the bathroom door. The music wasn't on very loud, and I was singing barely above a whisper. I'm not sure why he was yelling. I opened the shower curtain, and grabbed a towel. I wrapped it around myself, and unlocked the door. "It's unlocked." I announced. He opened the door as I made my way back to the shower. I kept the towel on, until I was back in the shower, and the curtain was closed. I draped the towel across the shower curtain rod.

"Thanks, Liz." Edwin thanked. "No problem Ed." I told him from the shower. I started humming softly. I started singing along quietly. I didn't realize that Ed had turned down the music. He chuckled. "You can sing louder than that, you know. No one would mind." He said. "What?" I asked him. "It's not like you have a bad voice Liz." He said. "Um, thanks… I think." I said, a bit surprised. Edwin has hinted that he thinks that I have a decent voice before. It's always been after Casey has had to sing for something. I always thought that he was just being nice.

I love singing, just not in front of people. "You always hide it. I just think that you shouldn't." He said. Easy for him to say, he's never had to grow up in Casey's shadow. Though, I guess he did grow up in Derek's. So, maybe he does understand. "Thanks Ed." I told him, more sincerely than before. The song changed. Another Journey song, it must be a CD. I started singing, loudly.

_Just a small town girl_

_Livin' in a lonely world_

_She took the midnight train goin' anywhere_

Edwin joined in, and I let him have this stanza.

_Just a city boy_

_Born and raised in south Detroit_

_He took the midnight train goin' anywhere_

I laughed. We sang together. It's nice and unexpected. It's the last thing I would think that would happen when I woke up this morning. The song ended. "Thanks for the song Liz." Edwin said. "Anytime," I told him. He left the bathroom. Someone else knocked on the door. "What do you want now Edwin?! You just shaved! Are you going to shave your legs, too?!" I called out. Someone chuckled. "It's not Ed, it's me, Z." Derek said from behind the door. "It's unlocked." I called out. What does he want to do? Didn't he already shave and brush his teeth? Boys…

I heard the door open. "Sorry, I forgot my CD earlier. But if you're listening to it, I'll just get it back later." He said. "You sure?" I asked. "Yeah, it's fine. Have fun showering." He said. "Thanks," I told him. He left. I finished up my shower, and got dressed. I put on a white tank top and a pair of Ed's basketball shorts. I don't have anywhere to go today, and they are so comfortable.

I went downstairs to see if Casey was ready yet. Knowing her, she's still in the shower. Derek was in the kitchen… cooking. "Are you seriously cooking?" I asked him disbelief. He smiled and nodded. "Can't a guy make scrambled eggs without everyone giving him crap about it?" He asked. I smirked and shook my head. "When that guy has never cooked a single thing for his family in his life, then I'm sorry, no." I told him. He distributed the eggs onto 5 plates.

Marti bounced down the stairs. "Smerek, do I smell eggs?" She asked. He smiled, and handed her a plate with a fork on it. "Yes, you do, Smarti." He told her. She grinned and took the plate. "What about Liza?" She asked. Marti never called me Liz. I think she did a few times after she met me, but she decided that she didn't like "Liz", just like she didn't like "Derek". At first I called her "Marti", but she told me not to. She told me to call her "Smarti" like Derek. So, I do.

Derek handed me a plate of steaming eggs. Marti and I sat down at the table. Derek joined us, and we ate our eggs. Casey came into the kitchen. "Liz, did you make eggs?" She asked. I shook my head. I had just eaten a bite of eggs, and didn't want them to fall out, by my answering her. "Smerek did." Marti answered her. "Really, Derek made eggs. I find that hard to believe. I hope they aren't poisoned." She said thoughtfully.

"I didn't poison them, but maybe I should have. I made you a plate, but you don't have to eat them if you are afraid for your life." He said. We all laughed. Casey picked up a plate and started eating.

------------------------------------------Later--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm sitting in the backyard, enjoying the peace. Casey went tanning. Edwin took Marti to the park. I'm not sure what Derek's up to. I must be a horrible person. I mean, I don't feel like a horrible person. I must be, to think about Derek like I do. I mean, he's stepbrother. I'm not sure if it makes it right. But, I mean, we're supposed to be siblings. It's not like it matters… He'll never think of me that way.

"Hey Z," Derek said from behind me. I jumped. "Stop doing that!" I said exasperated. "Sorry." He apologized. He sat next to me. "Casey should be back soon, I hope you're in the mood to shop." He said sarcastically. "You know it." I said equally sarcastically. "I'm home! Ready to go?" Casey yelled from the front door. Derek stood up, and offered me his hand. He pulled me to him a little too hard. I landed into his chest. I looked up at him, unable to help myself. He looked down at me and smiled. He put his arms around me for a brief second, holding me to him. He let go, and he led me inside.

I hadn't imagined that, had I? Casey smiled at us. "You two are getting along well." She teased gesturing to our hands. I looked down, Derek still has my hand. "I just couldn't help myself." Derek teased back, playing along. I grinned. "Shall we?" Casey asked. I nodded. "We shall." I answered.

We went to mall, and Casey picked a present for Max. They got back together after she graduated from high school. She ended up getting him some videogame that's he been talking about. I had a blast. Derek and I provided commentary, much to Casey's annoyance.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------Later----------------------------------------------------------

We got back to the house later. I was in my room, and Casey knocked on my door. This feels a bit like déjà vu. "You got a minute?" She asked. I nodded as she came in my room. She shut the door behind her. "If I ask you a question, do you promise not to get upset?" She asked. I nodded slowly. "Are you in love with Derek?" She asked softly. I looked at her, and blushed. I don't see judgment in her eyes. It's the one thing that I expected to see if she ever found out.

"Do you know what you're asking Casey?" I asked her in return. "You didn't answer me, but I guess you don't have to." She said thoughtfully. "I can tell from the way looked at him earlier." She said. I groaned. "Great," I said. "Don't worry, I won't say anything. I won't bring it up again, either. I just wanted to know." She assured me. I hugged her. "Thanks," I told her. She nodded. "If it means anything, I think you have a shot." She told me. I looked up at her in surprise. "You do?" I asked her.

"Marti was talking to me earlier. She told me that she wanted to be the flower girl when Liza and Smerek got married. And that I wasn't supposed to tell anyone, because it would ruin everything." She said. I chuckled. "That's Marti for you, but that doesn't mean…" I argued. "Let me finish." She cut me off. I just nodded. "I asked her why. She said, it was because Smerek looked at you, like you were his princess, and he wanted to rescue you." She finished smiling.

"You seriously don't have a problem with this?" I asked her, even more quietly than before. "If you love him, Lizzie, I don't think that I could." Casey said. "Will you stay for awhile? It's a lot to process." I asked her. "Sure," she said. I'm lying in my bed. She pulled my covers back, and climbed in with me. We talked. It's nice to be able to tell this to someone. Maybe my impossible desire isn't so impossible after all. If things look this way tonight, I'm not sure what tomorrow will bring.

**Author's Note: Please Review!! This is the first chapter of many, hope you enjoyed it!!!**

**~Anneryn**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Thank you SO much for all of the reviews, favorites, and story alerts! I appreciate them immensely. I wrote this chapter a little differently. There is more of Derek's P.O.V. in this one. Bear with me; I have a master plan for getting Lizzie and Derek together. Thank you to: hazelbrie13 for proofing this chapter!! Keep in mind: whether you love it, hate it, or are indifferent, I won't be offended or hold it against you, AS LONG AS YOU REVIEW!!**

****I changed the rating to: M, for later chapters.****

**~Anneryn**

**I DO NOT OWN LIFE WITH DEREK (I only play in their world.)**

**Music Credit: I'm So Sick – Flyleaf, I Will Not Bow – Breaking Benjamin**

Chapter 2:

Derek's P.O.V.

I poked my head out of the shower. I heard someone calling my name. No one's there. All I see is an empty bathroom. Hmm… I heard someone calling my name, again. I know I wasn't imagining it that time. I stepped out of the shower. I didn't bother to turn off the water. I left it running. Someone knocked on the door softly. I wrapped a towel around my waist.

I opened the door. It's Liz. She looks flustered, and out of breath. I can't help but let my eyes wander. Her chest is rising up and down rapidly. Her tank top shows a bit more than I'd like. Since I'm about a head taller than her, it gives me a nice view. "Liz, are you okay?" I asked her, forcing my attention back to her. She looked up at me, and gave her head a slight shake. "I needed…" She started, but closed her mouth. She turned around and tried to walk away. I grabbed her arm, to stop her. She turned back around and faced me.

"Lizzie, talk to me. Tell me what's going on." I demanded softly. "Not out here." She said barely above a whisper. I nodded. I led her back inside of the bathroom. I closed the door, and locked it behind us. She looked at me, but didn't say anything. I became painfully aware that the only thing that I'm wearing is a towel. "Lizzie…" I prompted. She nodded. "I needed to talk to you." She finally said. "I'm listening." I told her.

She tilted her head, and looked me in the eyes. "I can't do this." She said honestly. "Do what?" I asked her, confused. Her eyes are filling with tears. She looked away. I touched her forearm gently, with my hand. She looked up at me. The tears are threatening to spill. I know that she is too stubborn to let any of them fall. "When I'm around you…" She said. Her voice cracked. She hiccupped and turned away from me. "Damn it, Lizzie! I can't help you if I don't know what's going on." I snapped. I didn't mean to snap at her. The last thing I wanted to do was scare her, more than she is already.

"I can't control these urges! The feelings… they are relentless. All I think about is you." She whispered, exasperated. She turned around to face me slowly. "I picture you…" She said. I looked down at her. She looked up at me, mortified. "I'm sorry, I-I…" She started stammering. I gripped her waist with my hands. I picked her up, and brought my forehead to her's. I can hear her breathing. "Tell me how you think about me." I told her, with a low growl in my voice. I felt her shudder against me.

"I think about you… touching me… holding me… making me… moan… making me… scream… your name…" She stopped talking, unable to concentrate. I started tracing her collarbone with my tongue. I nuzzled her neck, and made my way up to her ear. I left a trail of small kisses along her jaw. "Say my name," I whispered against the side of her mouth. "Derek," she whispered. "What else did you come in here to tell me?" I asked her, as I slipped a hand under her shirt. "I love you." She said. I smiled at her. I sat her down on the counter, and pulled off her shirt. She shook off her shorts, and her panties.

"You love me, Z?" I asked her. She nodded. I picked her up. She wrapped her legs around my waist, and I walked back to the shower. She let her fingers explore my face. Her feather light touches are leaving my skin tingling, and aching for more. "I want you, Liz. Oh, God, I want you. You don't know how long…" I groaned, and she tightened her grip around me. I looked into her eyes, and said something; I never thought that I would ever say… not out loud. "I love you." I whispered.

I claimed her mouth with my own. She whimpered against me. We half fell, half collided into the shower. My towel was lost somewhere along the way.

"DEREK!" Edwin screamed. I sat up, my breath coming out in heavy pants. I was dreaming? I've never had a dream so vivid, not about Liz. I shook my head. I stood up, and went to go find Ed. I looked down, before opening my bedroom door. Since when was Z able to get me hard? I guess Ed's going to have to wait awhile.

* * *

Lizzie's P.O.V.

I opened my eyes, yawning. Something is warm beside me. I turned onto my side to see what it was. Casey sighed in her sleep, and wrapped an arm around my middle, snuggling closer to me. She must have fallen asleep here last night. I asked her to stay awhile. We got to talking… I don't even remember falling asleep. I looked over at the clock on my bedside table. It's only 8:19 in the morning. I closed my eyes. No need to get up before I need to.

I turned my back to Casey, and snuggled my back against her. I drifted off to sleep.

I was lying on the couch, next to Derek. He's watching some hockey game, and yelling at the TV. I closed my eyes and started to fall asleep against his shoulder. I yawned and closed my eyes tighter. I'm too comfortable to move. Derek makes a nice pillow. I felt him wrap his arm around me. His yelling got quieter. He is now yelling in hushed tones. His whispered yells make a good lullaby. He stared to shake me. "Liz… Liz, get up." He said. I shook my head and groaned. "I'm sleeping." I mumbled. The shaking didn't stop.

I opened my eyes. It's Edwin. What does he want now? I looked over and saw Casey still fast asleep. I looked up at Edwin. "What?" I asked grouchily. He woke me up from a nice dream, one that I didn't want to stop. If I can only be with Derek in my dreams, then I'm going to make the most of them. "We're going to breakfast." He responded. I looked over to Casey, and was about to shake her when Edwin stopped me. He shook his head. "Why?" I asked him. He shrugged. "Derek said to let Casey sleep. She never sleeps in. He said to wake you up, and that he, Marti, you, and I would go grab breakfast." He explained.

"Give me a minute." I told Edwin. He nodded. I started to sit up, but Casey tightened her grip around me, and laid her head in the groove of my neck. She slipped one of her legs in between mine, and snuggled closer. I forget how much of an affectionate sleeper Casey was. I looked up at Edwin. "Help," I told him. He chuckled. He carefully untangled her arms, and gently moved her leg. I lifted up her head softly, and laid it on my pillow. I grabbed my body pillow, and laid it next to Casey. She snuggled up with it, and I slipped off of my bed.

"I need to change, Ed." I told him. He turned red with embarrassment. He left the room silently. I peeled my shirt off, and dropped it into a hamper. I pulled off my shorts, and my panties. I grabbed a clean pair of panties. I grabbed a pair of dark blue, almost black jeans. I grabbed a David Beckham tee. I pulled on some socks, and slipped on my black and white converse. I grabbed my leave-in conditioner, and rubbed it on my hands. I ran my fingers through my hair, and attacked it with a brush. I put on some deodorant and brushed my teeth.

I walked downstairs, and nearly tripped over Marti. She decided that she and her dolls needed to relocate. The best place for them to stay is the stairwell. "Liza, you can't crush my friends. How can you marry Smerek if you're in jail for murder?" She asked me. I smirked at her. I squatted down, and faced her stuffed animals. I put the sock monkey's hand in my own, and looked at the monkey seriously. "I'm dreadfully sorry, Mr. Monkey." I told him, trying my best not to let my serious face slip. "His name is Elvis." Marti corrected me. I looked at her and nodded.

"I'm sorry, Elvis." I corrected myself. "I should have been paying more attention to what I was doing. I hope you can forgive me." I told the monkey. Marti started laughing. "Elvis says that he forgives you! And that you look funny, because he isn't real. I was just _pretending._" Marti told me giggling. I looked at her cross-eyed. She laughed harder. Derek walked over to the stairway. "Do I hear laughing? Because that's not allowed," He told Marti seriously.

Marti rolled her eyes at Derek. I snickered. "Oh, so it's like that, huh?" He asked me. I nodded. "Okay," he said. He picked me up, and draped me over his shoulder. "Come on Ed!" He yelled. Edwin came running downstairs. He started laughing when he saw Derek holding me over his shoulder. "Let's go." Derek said. He opened the front door for Marti. He walked outside, and shut the door after Edwin. He locked the door. "How are you going to drive with Lizzie on your shoulder?" Edwin asked. Derek shrugged.

He walked over the passenger's side, and set me down. He looked me in the eyes and smirked. "You won this round. But, next time you're going down." He teased. I nodded, smiling. I admit that I'm a little disappointed that he put me down. I was enjoying the view. I opened the passenger door, and slid inside.

-------------------------------------------------Later at breakfast----------------------------------------------------------------

We went to Sal's, a local diner, for breakfast. I drank my orange juice slowly as I listened to the quiet banter that consumed our table. Derek smirked at Edwin and Marti as they argued about the origin of Godzilla. Marti told Ed that he was the long lost brother of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and he had gotten separated from them at birth. And that the reason he tried to destroy things was because he was mad that Master Splinter hadn't adopted him as well.

I nearly choked on my orange juice when I heard her say this. I started coughing, and Derek started hitting me lightly on the back. I finally was able to stop. Marti and Edwin looked at me amused. "Really Marti?" I asked her. She nodded confidently. Edwin opened his mouth to argue with her, but I shook my head, signally for him to stop. He shot me an exasperated look, but obeyed. "And I suppose Big Foot was Godzilla's cousin?" Edwin asked Marti out of spite.

She gave him a strange look. "No Edwin, he's not real. You're just being ridiculous." Marti told him. I hand to put my hand over mouth. Luckily, I had my napkin in my hand to capture the orange juice that I spit out. Derek was laughing openly now. I made sure that I hadn't left any orange juice on my face, and I smiled at him. Breakfast with them, is never boring.

_I will break into your thoughts,_

_With what's written on my heart_

_I will break. Break!_

I jumped. "Liza, your pocket's singing." Marti pointed at. I stuck my tongue out at her. She giggled, and I pulled my phone from my pocket. It's Casey; she's probably wondering where we are.

_I'm so sick, infected with_

_Where I live_

_Let me live, without this_

_Empty bliss, selfishness_

I pressed the talk button, and held the phone to my ear. "Hello," I answered the phone softly. "Hey Lizard, where are you guys?" Casey asked, sounding groggy. She probably just woke up. She yawned. "We went to grab some breakfast. We didn't want to wake you. You don't sleep in often." I told her. She yawned again. "Oh, okay. I think I'm going to go back to sleep. I hope you don't mind me kidnapping your bed." She said, stifling yet another yawn. "Not at all. I'll bring you back something, okay?" I asked her. "Okay. See you later Lizard. Love you." She said, hanging up the phone. I pocketed my phone.

Derek raised his eyebrows at me, silently asking me what Casey had wanted. "What did Space Case want?" He asked curiously. "She wanted to know where we were." I told him. He nodded. "I'm going to go get her something to go." I told him. I started to get up, but he grabbed my arm lightly. I looked over at him, giving him a questioning look. "I'll get it; I have to pay for breakfast anyway." He told me. There's something different… in his eyes, I just can't tell: what. "Derek, it's fine, really." I told him. He shook his head. "Nonsense, what kind of man would I be, if I made you pay for food for the Space Case?" He asked with a laugh.

I shrugged. "Okay." I agreed. He nodded victoriously. He got up, and went over to the front counter, and started talking to the hostess, acting as cashier. He smiled at her, and they started talking quietly. He handed her the money, and asked for some food to go. He kept smiling, and leaned forward. She flipped her hair, and giggled annoyingly. I felt a pang in my stomach. I looked away. I don't need to see what's going to happen next.

It's always the same. He'll flirt with her; she'll flirt back. They'll go out. He'll bring her home. They'll make out, and he'll take her to his room. I don't even want to think about him screwing that airhead. She doesn't deserve him. Not that I think that I deserve him, but I _**know**_ that he can do better than her. He'll use her, and get tired of her. It always ends the same way. With me feeling nauseous.

"Can I take your food?" I heard someone ask. I didn't bother to see who it was; they aren't talking to me. "Liza," Marti's voice brought me crashing back to reality. I looked at her puzzled. I turned to see who was talking. A waiter had come by to clear our table. "I'm sorry what?" I asked him, with an apologetic smile. He winked, and smiled back at me.

He has amazing eyes. They are green around his pupils. The green fades into blue. He has faint gray flecks in the irises of his eyes. His smile brightens up his face. He's tan. He has black hair that falls just above his eyes. He's gorgeous, and he's smiling at me. If Derek can flirt, so can I. "Do you want me to get that out of your way?" He asked. I nodded. He leaned closer to me, and reached his arm in front of me. His hand brushed by arm. He smiled down at me. My gaze traveled his arms up to his face. He has amazing arms. I can tell that he works out. He has his arms to show for it. Because it's the summer, the Sal's uniform consists of dark jeans, and sleeveless, dark gray, tee shirts. He has a tattoo on his shoulder, but I can't tell what it is.

"Want a refill?" He asked. I nodded. He nodded slowly, and walked away. I watched him go. He doesn't look bad from behind, either. He looked back, and smiled at me. I felt myself blush. I looked away. Edwin smirked at me knowingly. I glared at him. He laughed. Marti was frowning. "What's wrong Smarti?" I asked her. "You aren't supposed to be with him." She muttered. Edwin looked at her in surprise. He has no idea what she is talking about. She's talking about me and Derek. "Come on Smarti, you just met the guy." I told her. She looked at me, knowing that she promised to keep my secret. "I guess he's cute enough to be your prince… for now." She admitted, finally giving me a smile.

I smiled back at her. I turned my head, at the sound of someone pulling up a chair. It's the waiter. He turned the chair backwards, and sat down, straddling the chair. He looked at me intently. I returned his gaze. The corners of his mouth turned up slightly. "I'm Clay." He told me. I nodded. "I'm Lizzie." I told him. I moved my hand, and gestured to Ed and Marti. "This is Edwin, and Marti." I told him. "Hey Ed, Marti." He said smoothly, giving them each a smile. "Hey," Edwin said. "I'm a princess!" Marti announced excitedly. "So… they are…" Clay said inquiringly. "They are my stepsiblings." I told him.

Clay looked relieved. "I had to make sure I wasn't stepping on anyone's toes." He said. Edwin laughed. Clay cocked his head to the side. "What about him?" He asked me. "That's Derek. He's my stepbrother." I told him. He nodded. "Can you sit here?" I asked him. He gave me a strange look. "I mean, I don't want you to get in trouble." I told him. "Oh, that. No, I'm fine. I'm on break." He said. I nodded. "How old are you?" I asked him. "I'm 19." He said with a smile. I nodded. That isn't so bad. 2 years isn't that big of a difference.

"I go to community college, so I can still help my Mom out with the diner." He told me. "Your Mom?" I asked. He nodded. "Sal is her brother, but he has to take care of some family stuff in the States, so my Mom is running things for awhile." He told me. I nodded. "Freshman or sophomore?" I asked him. He smirked. "Sophomore, I have a summer birthday. I turned 19 last month." He told me. I smiled. "Mine's in April." I told him. He nodded. "I'm 17." I told him. "Senior…?" He asked slowly. I nodded. He looked relieved.

"What's Lizzie short for?" He asked. I chuckled; I thought that was obvious. "Lizzie is short for Elizabeth." I told him. He smiled. "You never know with names nowadays." He said. "True," I agreed. "Do you want to do something later this week?" He asked. I looked at him. "Are you asking me out?" I asked him stupidly. I expected him to laugh; instead he just looked at me. "Yes, I'm asking you to go out on a date with me." He clarified. I smiled. "I'd like that." I told him. His eyes sparkled, and he gave me a slight smile. "Can I see your cell phone?" He asked.

I plucked it out of my pocket, and handed it to him. He started pressing buttons, and he gave it back to me. "Now you have my number." He said. I nodded. His phone went off.

_I will not bow. I will not break._

_I will shove the world away._

_I will not fall. I will not fade._

_I will take your breath away._

He stood up, and pulled his phone from his back pocket. He sat back down and opened it. "And now, I have your number." He said. He smiled. "Smile, beautiful." He said. I looked at him and smiled. His phoned flashed, and I heard his camera go off. "It's your turn." I told him. He smiled, and I took his picture. I saved the picture to his photo ID. "What's your last name?" I asked him. He smiled. "It's Tucker." He told me. I nodded. "Yours?" He asked. "It's McDonald." I told him. He smirked. Someone called his name from behind him. It's the bimbo that was flirting with Derek. Clay grimaced. "She is so annoying. I hate working with her." He said, making a face. I let out a small laugh. "You have a nice laugh." He said thoughtfully. I blushed. "It's cute that you blush."

He stood up, and moved his chair back to the table that he took it from. "Hurry up, Clay." The hostess whined. We both looked behind him. Both she and Derek have their attention focused on us. Derek doesn't look happy, but I can't imagine why. He quickly covers it up, and smiles at the hostess. But, he doesn't move his attention from us. "I'll call you, Elle." Clay said. "Elle?" I asked him. He smirked. "I don't think 'Lizzie' suits you. Do you mind, if I call you Elle?" He asked. I shook my head. "Not at all, I've got a few nicknames. What's one more?" I asked him.

He leaned forward, and propped an elbow on the table. "You're unattached? I mean, you aren't with anybody?" Clay asked me. "No, I'm not. Are you?" I asked him. He shook his head. "Okay." He said, smiling. "I'm looking forward to our date." He admitted. I blushed. "It was nice meeting you, Ed. And you, Princess Marti." He told my siblings. "I take it back. I do like him." Marti announced. We all laughed. Clay stood up, and gave my hand a quick squeeze. He leaned down, and kissed my cheek. His lips are soft. He pulled away, and walked over toward Derek and the annoying hostess. She started talking to him. He nodded. When she turned her head, he looked at me, and made a face.

Derek made his way back over to us. He's carrying Casey's food in a to-go-box. He gave me a strange look, but he didn't say anything. He quickly smiled. "Ready to go?" He asked. We nodded. I stood up, and Marti grabbed my hand. "We have to make it back to the spaceship in time! If we don't it will take off without us, and I'll never see Gandalf again!" Marti exclaimed. I wish I understood how her mind works. I love her imagination. She's seen more movies than any other kid I know, her age. Ed and Derek followed us.

I turned to look at Clay as we past him, on our way out. "Bye Elle." He called behind me. I looked back at him, and smiled. "Bye Clay." I called back. Once we were in the car, Derek didn't say anything for awhile. "You and that waiter guy, huh?" He asked. I looked over at him and nodded. "You and that hostess chick, huh?" I challenged. He looked taken aback, but he smiled. He shrugged. "I got her number, but I don't know if I want to go out with her." He said shaking his head. "That laugh…" He added. I let out a small laugh.

"Clay's taking me out, later this week." I told Derek. He gave a look that I can't even describe. To be honest, I'm not sure what kind of look it is, exactly. "He better treat you right, Z." He said, quietly. I nodded. "If he doesn't, I'll stop seeing him." I promised. "You better. And, what kind of a nickname is 'Elle'?" He asked. "You call me 'Z'." I pointed out. He glared at me. I laughed. "I wouldn't be with anybody who didn't treat me right." I told Derek. "I know, Z. Just… just be careful, okay?" He asked. I nodded.

"Is there something that you aren't telling me?" I pressed. He shook his head. "No, it's just… I know how guys are. I know how guys _**my**_ age are. I don't want you to be one of those girls." He said quietly. The radio is playing, so Ed and Smarti can't hear us in the backseat. I didn't say anything; I just nodded. "Thanks." I whispered. He reached over, and squeezed my hand. He put his hand back on the steering wheel. We drove the rest of the way in a comfortable silence.

---------------------------------------------Later, back at the house------------------------------------------------------------

We got back to the house, and gave Casey her food. She woke up, just as we got back. She ate in my room, as I told her what happened. She didn't say anything, at first. "Lizard, I think that you should go out with Clay. I mean maybe it will help you get over Derek. I'm not saying that you need to, but you've never really dated a guy before. Or, it could make Derek jealous. Worse comes to worse, you fall for the guy. I don't see a downside to you going out Clay." Casey told me honestly.

She's right. As if he knew we were talking about him, my phone started ringing.

_I will break into your thoughts,_

_With what's written on my heart_

_I will break. Break!_

Clay's picture is showing on my phone screen. I showed Casey. She smiled approvingly. "You're lucky he's younger than me. He's hot." She said. I laughed, and answered the phone. "Hey beautiful," He said. I smiled. Casey put her ear next to mine, so she can hear anything. I can't tell her to move, otherwise he'll hear me. "Hey Clay," I responded. "I checked my schedule with Mom. Does Friday with you?" He asked. "Yeah, Friday's good." I told him.

"Good." I can hear him smiling. "What did you have in mind?" I asked him. "Uh uh, it's a surprise." He told me. "You seriously aren't going to tell me anything, about Friday?" I asked in disbelief. "Nope, but wear comfortable shoes." He said. I groaned. "We aren't going hiking, are we?" I asked him. He laughed. "No, we aren't going hiking. Oh, and wear whatever you want. You don't have to dress up." He told me. "Oookay, thanks." I said slowly. "Most girls freak about that sort of thing. I thought I'd give you a heads up." He told me. "Okay, thanks, then." I told him.

"I'd better go, Mom's slammed." He said. "Have fun at work." I told him. He laughed again. "Destiny left, so I don't have to hear her agonizing voice. I think I will thanks." He said. I laughed. "Alright, bye Clay." I told him. "Bye Elle." He said. I was about to hang up the phone, when I heard him say my name. "Yeah?" I asked, putting my phone back up to my ear. "I love the way your eyes shine, when you smile. I gotta go, stay beautiful, sweetie." He said hurriedly. I hung up the phone, and smiled.

No one's ever said that to me, before. Casey squealed. Someone opened my door. Derek poked his head in. He looked worried. "Are you okay? I heard screaming." He said. I nodded. He saw Casey, and nodded knowingly. I'm not a screamer. I leave that to Casey. "Lizard _**just**_ got off the phone with Clay." Casey said proudly. Derek nodded slowly, like he was nodding to a little kid. Casey didn't seem to notice. She's smiling like a crack-head in a whorehouse.

"He called Lizzie 'beautiful'!!" She announced. Derek smiled. "Sounds like you found a keeper, Z. He has eyes." Derek said, rolling his eyes. I laughed, and looked at Derek. He winked at me, and left my room. What did he mean by that?

**Author's Note: I want to hear what you think. REVIEW YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!! **

**: D**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: Thanks SO much for the reviews everyone! Hope you like this chapter! :D Thanks to hazelbrie13 for editing it for me! This chapter is all Lizzie's P.O.V. The next chapter should switch back and forth a bit. Keep in mind: whether you love it, hate it, or are indifferent, I won't be offended or hold it against you, AS LONG AS YOU REVIEW!!**

**~Anneryn**

**I DO NOT OWN LIFE WITH DEREK OR THE CHARACTERS (I only play in their world.)**

**Music Credit: I'm So Sick – Flyleaf**

Chapter 3:

Lizzie's P.O.V.

I never did find out what Derek meant by that wink. I tried not to think about it, even though it's been eating at me relentlessly. I tried to think about my date with Clay, instead. Casey was bouncing around the house excitedly all of last night. Thankfully, she didn't wake me up too early this morning. I woke up about an hour ago. I went downstairs to grab some breakfast, before everyone else woke up. It's only about 4:30 in the morning. I just couldn't go back to sleep. I stepped on one of Marti's toys on the stairwell, and cursed silently.

I continued on my way to the kitchen. I grabbed some milk out of the fridge, and grabbed a bowl and some cereal out of the kitchen cabinets. I poured Lucky Charms into the bowl, and added some milk. I put the milk back. It would be nice to be able to go for a run to clear my head. I'm not stupid enough to go running in the dark, alone. I know it isn't safe. So, I'll settle for cereal. I wasn't even going to bother with that, but my stomach startled growling.

I grabbed a spoon from our silverware drawer, and sat on the counter, next to the sink. I ate my cereal in silence. "Lizzie?" Someone asked uncertainly. I looked up and saw mom. I smiled at her. She smiled back, and yawned. "Can't sleep?" She asked. I shrugged. "I woke up about an hour ago, and couldn't get back to sleep." I told her. She nodded sympathetically. "Is it because of the guy you met earlier?" She asked. I blushed. "Casey told you." I guessed. She smiled and nodded.

Truthfully, that was part of it. I hadn't stopped thinking about him. No matter how hard I try, I can't understand why someone would want to go out with me. Clay's no eye sore, either. It makes things harder to understand. Maybe Clay is the cure for my Derek problem. If I have some sort of a foreseeable future with Clay… versus a life of pining after Derek. But, even considering all of this, it doesn't do anything.

Casey's right. I've never really dated anyone. If nothing else, it will give me that at least. "I'd like to meet him, if that's alright. I mean, he'll be your first real date, Lizard." She said, beaming. I rolled my eyes at her. She swatted my arm playfully. We both laughed. "I'll call him later, and see what he says. I'm sure it'll be fine, Mom." I told her. She touched my hair gingerly. "You're growing up so fast, Lizard." She said. "I'll take your word for it." I told her. I have to give Mom a hard time. She understands. "You've always been mature for your age. It's really starting to show." She said thoughtfully.

"Thanks, Mom." I told her. She smiled. "How old is he?" She asked. "He's 19, and his name is Clay." I told her. She nodded. "That's only a two year difference, I suppose that's alright." She said. I nodded. That's always been the rule. Two years older, three at the most. But, then again, it has only applied to Casey and Derek. "He's in college." I told her. "Good," She said. "I'll let him tell you the rest, since you're so keen on meeting him." I said, sounding a bit like a smartass. Mom chuckled.

She went over to the freezer and pulled out a pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream. She grabbed two spoons. "George is awake, too. He's been getting the oddest dreams about the Pillsbury Dough Boy chasing him with a giant paper cutter." She explained. I nodded. I tried not to laugh, honestly I did. I let out a small laugh. Mom joined me and controlled herself before going back to her bedroom in the basement.

I resumed eating my cereal in silence. I heard something fall in the laundry room. I jumped. It scared me. I set my cereal on the counter, and eased myself down. "Fuck," I heard someone mutter from the direction of the laundry room. I walked over to the laundry room. Who is it? I peered into the laundry room, and flipped on the light. I looked over at the door, and saw someone trying to get in. Our laundry door leads outside. It has a bit of decorative glass in the top center.

I walked over to the door, and looked outside. It's Derek. What's he doing out so late? He probably forgot his house key. I unlocked the door and opened it. "Thanks, Z." He said, still frustrated at the door. "Forget your key?" I asked genuinely curious. "What? Yeah." He answered. He raked a hand through his hair. I nodded. I left the laundry room and went back to the kitchen. I put my hands on the counter and lifted myself up. I let my legs dangle off the edge of the counter as I finished eating my cereal. I wasn't in the mood for soggy Lucky Charms.

Derek walked into the living room, and smirked as he saw me eating. "Lucky Charms, Z?" He asked. I nodded, still chewing. He shrugged. "Want some company?" He asked. I swallowed the bite that I had been working on. "Sure, but you're getting your own bowl, and your own cereal. That means your own spoon, too." I told him. He laughed. "You do know me." He said, getting himself some cereal.

"I wouldn't take food from you. It's much more enjoyable stealing food from the Space Case. After all, you don't whine about it, like she does. Where's the fun in that?" He asked. I shrugged.

"Why are you up so late?" He asked. "I woke up, and couldn't go back to sleep." I told him. He nodded and shoveled cereal into his mouth. "Bad dreams or insomnia?" He teased. "Neither really, my mind just won't shut up." I told him. "Your mind won't 'shut up'?" He clarified. I nodded. "Every time I try to clear my head, I always think about something. Then I get distracted, and can't sleep." I told him. "What's on your mind?" He asked. "Everything. Nothing. Random, sporadic, stupid stuff." I told him. He spit a little bit of cereal out, and started laughing.

"I didn't think I was funny." I said, more thinking out loud, then talking to Derek. "You're just so serious. Sorry, the facial expressions you were making, with what you said. I haven't actually gone to sleep yet, so right now, a lot of stuff is funny." Derek half apologized. I finished my cereal. I got off of the counter and rinsed my bowl out, and left it in the sink. He put a hand over his heart. "You're leaving me?" He asked in a mock hurt voice. I shrugged. "Even after I kept you company?" He asked, laying on the guilt trip.

I rolled my eyes. "You want me to stay, so the monsters won't get you?" I asked him. He nodded smiling. I sat back on the counter. I let out a small yawn. "Is it passed someone's bedtime?" Derek teased. I shot him a small glare. "Says someone who can't stay downstairs all by himself," I teased back. He smirked. "I can stay by myself. I just like the company." He said. He looked at me, and our eyes met. I held his gaze for a few seconds before looking away. "Come on, you know you like spending time with me. I mean, who doesn't?" He said, trying to sound arrogant.

I laughed. I got off the counter, and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. I turned around, to go back to the counter I had been sitting on. I ran into Derek. He was going to put his bowl in the sink. Luckily, the bowl was empty. His hands gripped my arms to steady me. "Sorry," I uttered a quick apology. His bowl had fallen to the floor, but it didn't break. "I wasn't watching were I was going either." He said. I nodded. His didn't move his hands. I cleared my throat weakly. "I think I can manage from here." I told him.

He flashed a quick smile. "Right," he said. He moved his arms. I bent down and picked up the bowl. I carried it over to the sink, and rinsed it out, and set it next to my bowl. I turned around and saw him watching me. "What?" I asked. He shook his head. "Nothing," he said. I nodded at him slowly. "Tired yet?" He asked. I am tired, but I don' think I could go to sleep now. I'd keep replaying what happened in my mind. "Yeah, but I don't think I can sleep yet." I told him honestly.

He nodded. "Come on." He said. "What?" I asked confused. He smirked at my confusion. "Follow me; I'm not ready to sleep either." He said. I gave a quizzing look. He grabbed my hand, and led me to the living room. I half expected him to pull me over to the couch, and turn on some of the hockey games he keeps recorded. He kept going, and led me upstairs. He was halfway up, when he started to trip over one of Marti's toys. It's a different one than the one that I had tripped over. He hit the stairs, unable to catch himself, since he had my hand in one of his. I fell beside him. I didn't see it coming soon enough.

I tried not to laugh. A small laugh escaped my lips. He glared at me, but started laughing too. He let go of my hand, and stood up. I started to get up, but he held a hand out to help me. I took his hand, and let him help me up. "Let's go twinkle toes." I told him. He glared at me, and walked down the hallway. He stopped outside of his room. He opened the door and pulled me inside. He flipped on his light, and motioned for me to sit on his bed. I did. It looks like he just cleaned it. Or better yet, he probably had Edwin do it.

He flipped on his computer screen and sat at his desk. I moved closer to him, and sat back down on the bed. "What are you in the mood for?" He asked me. "I'm not sure. Something funny, I guess." I told him. He nodded. He pulled up some Jeff Dunham videos. I smiled. He moved his chair next to me, and we watched Jeff Dunham videos. The video was of Jeff and Achmed. Next, we watched Jeff and Peanut. He would say something every once in awhile. We've both seen these videos a lot. "Jeff-fah-fah, am I pissing you off-fah-fah?" We mused with Peanut. "But he can't kill me, because that would be a form of suicide." Derek said. I laughed and threw a pillow at him.

He caught it lazily, and put it behind his head against the tall back of his computer chair. I stretched out, and laid on his bed, with my head facing his computer, and my feet towards the head of the bed. Eventually, he moved to the bed with me. I closed my eyes for a second. I don't remember falling asleep.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------Later in that morning-----------------------------------

Light crept underneath my eyelids. I rolled onto my side, and put my head on my pillow. It doesn't feel like my pillow. It's warm and solid. I opened my eyes slowly. My head is laying on Derek's chest. I looked around. I don't think I'm dreaming. I'm in Derek's room. I tried to sit up, but found myself trapped. He has his arms around me. I smiled, and laid my head back down on his chest. He looks angelic when he's sleeping. He sighed in his sleep, and wrapped his arms around me tighter. He opened his eyes slowly, and peered down at me. He looked surprised. He smiled at me.

"You should go back to sleep, Z." He whispered. He closed his eyes. "Night," I muttered, before returned to my dreamless bliss. I closed my eyes and felt something brush my cheek.

---------------------------------------------------Later---------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Elizabeth, Derek, you should probably get up." I heard mom say. I'm still tired. I felt Derek stir, and remembered where I was. I smiled into his chest. I lifted my head and looked over toward his bedroom door. "Nora, honey, are they awake?" I heard George ask. I saw mom and blinked, still not fully awake yet. "Hey Nora." Derek said simply. He yawned, and sat up. I felt myself sit up too. His arms are still around me. "I got worried when you weren't in your room, Lizard." She said. I nodded. "Sorry, I couldn't sleep. So we watched Jeff Dunham. I must have fallen asleep in here." I told her. She nodded. "I'm glad you got some sleep. Well, George and I are going to be late. We're going to lunch together." She said. "Have fun." Derek said. She smiled. "There's food downstairs. See you both later." She said turning to leave. George poked his head in. "Morning Liz, Derek. Nora, we're going to be late." He said.

She nodded and they left. Derek laid back down, and rubbed his eyes with one of his hands. I yawned. "I need to get dressed." I told him. "What? Oh yeah. Why this early?" He asked. I peered at his clock next to his computer. "It's noon, and Casey will probably want to go running, since we didn't go yesterday." I told him. He nodded. "You want your arm back?" I asked him. He shook his head. "Not yet." He said. He rolled over and faced me. He wrapped his other arm around me and gave me hug. I hugged him back. He moved his arms, and I got up. He looked at me curiously.

"What?" I asked him. "You have a belly ring. I didn't notice before." He said. I looked down. "Yeah, Casey and I got them done together, when I turned 15." I told him. He nodded. My shirt had risen up, through my slumber, and was now pushed up just above my belly button. It had hurt when I got it done. But I like having a navel ring. "It looks good." Derek said before rolling over and going back to sleep. I pulled my shirt down, and went to go shower.

-------------------------------------------------------Later-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

After I showered, Casey asked me to go running with her. It was a little past 2 before we finally made it out. I skipped breakfast; I just wasn't hungry. We took the same route that we took the other day. Casey was a bit ahead of me. She's still in better shape than I am. She pulled her hair back, but I kept mine down. I have a hair tie around my wrist, just in case. I picked up the pace, and joined Casey. My phone rang.

_I will break into your thoughts,_

_With what's written on my heart._

_I will break. Break!_

"Casey, stop." I panted. She slowed to a slow walk. I took deep breathes, trying to slow my breathing, so I could actually answer my cell. I hit the talk button, and pressed my phone to my ear. "Hello," I breathed. "Liz, Marti is driving me crazy." I heard Edwin complain. I rolled my eyes. "Suck it up, buttercup." I told him. He's old enough to handle Marti for an hour, until Casey and I get back. Derek is there, it's not like we left him alone with her.

"Derek is still asleep. She keeps asking if she dress me up like Princess Fiona." He said exasperated. I chuckled. "I'm glad you find my aggravation so amusing." He said haughtily. "I do." I told him. He sighed. "Fine, Ed, we're turning around." I told him. "Thanks Liz, I owe you." He said. "Yeah, yeah." I told him before I hung up the phone.

I turned to Casey. "Marti is driving Ed crazy. I told him we'd head back." I told her. She nodded. We started running back the way we came. We were about a block away, when I saw someone wave at us. I turned to Casey, with a questioning look. "Who?" I asked. She shrugged. "No idea." She answered. The person got clearer, as we got closer. I turned to Casey. "It's Clay." I told her. She smiled. We stopped when we were about to pass him. He smiled. I can feel my hair sticking to me. "Hey Elle," he said. "Hey," I said, trying to slow my breathing, yet again. God, I love his smile. He nodded at Casey, still smiling. She beamed at him. "Hi, I'm Lizzie's sister, Casey." She said excitedly.

"Are you running away from something, or are you just running for the hell of it?" He teased. "Casey's an avid runner." I said, matter of factly. He smirked. "You're not?" He asked. "In soccer season," I told him. He nodded understandingly. "And yet you still run with your sister, that's touching." He said holding a hand to his heart. A hit his arm playfully. "Be nice." I told him. He smiled. "I'm sorry, I'll play nicely… for now." He said with a devious smirk. I shook my head.

_I will break into your thoughts, _

_With what's written on my heart._

_I will break. Break!_

My phone went off. I checked the caller ID. It's Edwin, again. "Hello," I said answering the phone. "Tell her that I'm not her Barbie that she can dress up." Edwin demanded. I laughed. "Ed, you tell her that." I told him. "When are you guys getting back? She's trying to tell me that because I am now Princess Fiona, I have to marry Shrek." He said. I held back my laughter. "We'll be there soon." I promised. Ed hung up. I put my phone back on my arm band.

I looked up at Clay. "Apparently Marti is terrorizing Edwin, by making him play dress up. We are supposed to go save him." I explained. Clay laughed. "You're more than welcome to come." Casey suggested. He nodded. "I was helping a buddy of mine move. But I'm finished now, so I'm all yours." He said. Casey started chatting happily. Clay took my hand, and walked with us, listening to Casey intently. I waited for Casey to stop talking. She paused, but I didn't think that I would have another opportunity, so I interjected.

"It's good that we ran into you." I said to Clay. He smiled. "Why is that?" He asked. "My mom would like to meet you." I told him. He nodded. "Alright, just let me know when and where." He volunteered. I smiled. Mom will be happy about this. "Thanks," I said. He nodded. We walked over to our house. We went around to the side of the house, to go through the laundry room entrance. "Liz!" Edwin yelled from behind me. I turned around, and got covered with water. He sprayed me with the hose.

"Space Case!" Derek yelled. He soaked Casey with a Super Soaker. Marti popped up from behind Derek and threw water balloons at Clay. He ducked, but she hit him. I laughed as I looked for something to retaliate with. They planned this. "It's on." I said. Ed was about to spray me with the hose again, but Clay pulled me to the ground with him. I fell on the top of him. We both laughed. He picked up a couple of unbroken water balloons that Marti dropped. He switched our positions, and handed me a couple. We stood up and threw them at Derek and Edwin.

Derek sprayed Casey in the face. She found a water gun that they had hidden as extra artillery. She got Derek in the face. Marti ran out of water balloons. I ran over to her, and picked her up. Clay and I ran to the backyard. I still had Marti in my arms. I couldn't leave her there without any ammunition. Edwin would have turned on her. "Thanks Liza." She said. She took a water balloon that she had been hiding behind her back and threw it at Clay. "I'm going to get you." He told her. I put her down and got in front of her. "She's only a little girl. You don't **really** want to get her back, do you?" I asked him.

He looked at me seriously. "Yes, but not right now." He said. Marti came out from behind me and snickered. "You can get me back." She said. Clay laughed. "I'd rather get Elle." He said. "What?" I asked, hoping he was kidding. He picked me up and carried me across his shoulder. This is beginning to become a habit of theirs. He walked back over to the side of the house, followed closely by Marti. "Traitors," I told them. "It's all part of my plan." Clay whispered to me.

Derek sprayed my legs with his Super Soaker. Casey stopped Edwin from spraying me in the face with the hose. "Truce?" Clay asked unsurely. Derek looked at him suspiciously. "And how would that benefit me?" He asked. Clay didn't say anything for a moment. "You can spray Elle." He said, decisively. I scoffed. "Okay, truce." Derek said. Clay set me down on my feet, and went to shake hands for Derek. Instead, he grabbed the hose from Edwin, and pointed it at them.

I laughed. "Well played." Derek complimented. "I respect that." He added. Clay nodded. "Can we stop this? I don't want to stay in these clothes all day." I spoke up. Casey nodded. "The battle is over, but the war has yet to begin." Derek declared. I laughed as I went inside the house. I grabbed a towel from on top of the dryer. I handed one to Clay. My clothes are sticking to me. It's not the most comfortable thing to be wearing.

Everyone else came through the front door. It's quiet; I guess mom and George aren't back yet. I patted my clothes down, so I wouldn't drip all over the floor. "Derek!" Clay yelled. He came into the laundry room. "Yeah?" He asked. "Do you have anything dry I can wear?" Clay asked him. Derek smiled. He looked over at me. I mouthed, "Please" to him. He nodded. "Hang on." He said. He came back a minute later with some clothes. He tossed them at Clay. "Thanks, man." Clay said to Derek. He nodded. "You should be okay to change in here, as long as you shut the door." I told him. He smiled. "Thanks." He said. I nodded.

"You're face got wet." He said. I nodded slowly. "I know. Why…?" I started to ask. He shook his head. "It's nothing. I just figured your makeup would run." He said. I nodded. "Oh, that." I said. "Your sister's was running a bit." He said talking about Casey. She put a little on this morning. I think she just used mascara and some eyeliner. "I don't wear makeup." I told him. "Really?" He asked. I nodded, again. "Is it so unheard of that some females don't wear makeup?" I asked him. He smirked. "No, it's just you're really beautiful. I assumed that you did." He said.

"You know what they say about assuming." I told him, before leaving the laundry room. I squeezed some of my hair into the towel. I grabbed a water from the fridge. Casey walked into the kitchen. "Hey, did I leave my…" She started to ask. I turned to see what she was staring at. I followed her gaze. Clay hadn't shut the door behind me. He took his shirt off and dropped it to the floor. He turned to face us, but was too preoccupied drying himself off, that he didn't notice us gawking. That man looks good in a shirt, but damn does he look good without one.

His arms are **nice**, but his abs are nothing to frown about either. I'm talking: 6 pack. I sighed. I lead Casey out of the kitchen and upstairs. She followed me to my door. She stopped and pulled at my arm. I turned around to face her. "Damn Liz, you sure know how to pick 'em." She said. I rolled my eyes, smiling. I nodded. "He is… wow." She finished, dreamily. Derek walked out of his room, in a dry pair of clothes. "Geez Case, put your eyes back in your head. That's Z's man you're drooling over." He said. She glared at him. "Have you seen him?" She asked Derek. He nodded. "Well, considering I'm not blind. Yeah, I've seen him." He said sarcastically.

"You might want to put your tongue back in your mouth. You've got a bit of drool on your chin." Derek said, pointing to Casey's chin. She glared at him, again. She went into her room, fuming. Derek shook his head after Casey went into her room. "I don't understand women." He declared. I scoffed. "What?" He demanded, surprised at my reaction. "If you saw a hot girl, you would have done basically the same thing." I told him. He thought about it for a second, but didn't say anything. I waited for him to say something, but he didn't. Finally, he shook his head in agreement.

"I would have been a lot cooler about it, than… that." He said gesturing to Casey's door. I nodded. "Sure," I told him, before going into my room. What should I wear? I need Casey. I sighed. I opened my door, and I shivered. I'm getting a little cold, standing in my cold clothes. "You know you can change your clothes, Liz?" Edwin asked. I gave him a quick glare. "Yes, I know Captain Obvious. I just needed to talk to Casey." I told him. I knocked on her door. She opened it. "You're not going to wear that, are you?" She asked. "Um, no." I told her.

She took my hand. "Come on," she pulled me into her room. Edwin and Derek laughed. "I'll save you!" Marti yelled from outside Casey's door. I laughed. "I'll be alright, Smarti." I told her. "Okay," She said. "If she needs us, she'll let us know." I heard Derek assure Marti. "Smerek, let's go get Clay!" Marti yelled. I heard laughter. I looked at Casey, and we laughed. Casey opened her closet, and started pulling out clothes. "Am I supposed to wear all of that?" I asked her uncertainly.

"Your clothes aren't going to fit." I told her. She looked at me like I was a child who had just said something really stupid. "They'll fit, Liz." She said. "I have clothes." I told her. She gave me the look again. She handed me a pair of dark, jean shorts. They're short. "They were small on me. I didn't try them on at the store. They should fit you. They're yours now." She said proudly. "Thanks." I told her. I left her room, and returned to mine. I stripped out of my wet clothes, and dropped them into my now empty hamper. Mom must have washed my clothes. Normally I do them myself.

I towel dried the rest of my body. I grabbed some lotion off of my dresser, and lathered it on. I grabbed a dark blue pair of panties from my drawer, and slid them on. I grabbed a dry bra and put it on. I put on the shorts. Casey was right, they do fit me. I opened my own closet, and looked at my shirts. I pulled out a white, tight fitting, Sick Puppies, band tee. Someone knocked on my door as I put my shirt on. I hurriedly put on some deodorant. I set it down, and opened the door.

It's Casey, and Derek. Casey squealed excitedly. Sometimes I wonder if we really do share DNA. We're just so different. "You know Lizard, you might want to put on a little bit of makeup." She suggested. I grimaced, and made a face. I made it more to myself than to anyone else. Derek chuckled. I shook my head. "I'm not wearing makeup." I told her. She opened her mouth to protest, but Derek put a finger to her mouth. "She looks fine, Space Case." He said.

She looked slightly taken aback, but I could tell that she wasn't going to give up so easily. "When do I ever wear makeup, Case?" I asked her. She didn't say anything, thinking about my question. She sighed. "Fine, don't wear makeup. You still look beautiful, Lizard." She said. I blushed. "Thanks." I told her. I walked down the stairs. Marti is chatting happily with Clay. I think she's happy to talk to someone who doesn't get annoyed easily. Someone who isn't Ed. He isn't a bad brother. Lately, Marti's just been driving him a little crazy.

I was on the second to last step, when Mom and George walked in. "We're home! The house better not be destroyed!" George called out as he came through the laundry room, into the kitchen. Mom followed behind him, her arms filled with groceries. "George, I'm sure they didn't destroy the house. They know better than that, now. Besides, the girls were here. They wouldn't let them destroy the house." Mom pointed out. "That's true. Casey and Lizzie wouldn't let Edwin and Derek destroy the house." George agreed with Mom.

"Need any help?" I asked as I walked into the kitchen. "No, we grabbed all of the bags from the car already. Thanks, Lizard." Mom said. I nodded. She turned around and smiled at me. Her eyebrows rose in surprise. I normally wear shorts this short. They aren't too terribly short, but they are short, nonetheless. "You look different today, Lizard." She said. I gave a slight frown. "Not in a bad way, just different. You look lovely." Mom assured me. I rolled my eyes. She hit my shoulder playfully.

"Lizard?" Clay asked, amused. He and Marti had gotten up, and came into the kitchen. "Nickname," I told him. He nodded. Mom smiled. "Who is this?" She asked, looking at me pointedly. A blush crept onto my cheeks. "Mom, George, this is Clay." I introduced them. Mom smiled. "It's a pleasure to meet you." She said beaming. What she said might have been generic, but she actually meant it. George smiled. He shook Clay's hand. "We're glad to have you." George said, mimicking Mom's smile. Clay smiled. "It's nice to meet you both." He said. George can him a curious look. "Isn't that Derek's shirt?" He asked. Clay smiled, again. "We had a bit of a water war earlier. Derek lent me some things, while I waited for my clothes to dry." He told them. Mom and George laughed.

"I hope you'll stay for dinner." Mom said. Clay looked at me and gave a slow smile. "I'd love to." He said, never moving his eyes from mine. I smiled, and nodded. "It's settled, then. We can handle things in here. You two go have some fun." George said dismissively. Clay and I chuckled. "Not like that." George corrected himself, smiling. "Come on," I told Clay. I led him upstairs. He followed me to my room. I pushed the door open and beckoned him inside. He looked around, as I shut the door. It's weird having him in my room. Apart from a few guy friends, Ed, and Derek, he's the first guy I've had in my looked at the posters on my wall. I've got a Dark Knight poster, of Heath Ledger as the Joker, a David Beckham poster and a Disturbed poster. I have more posters; I just haven't bothered to put them up. I've got small band logos stuck on one of my walls. They're wall stickers, and I like the collage there. "You've got good taste in music." He said, reading the bands on my wall. He turned to face me. "So this is your room." He said. I nodded. "Yeah, this is it." I told him. "Not even the first date and I'm in your room." He said, giving me a playfully arrogant smile. I tossed a throw pillow at him, off of my armchair. He caught it, laughing.

"You can sit down." I told him. He nodded, and sat down on my window-seat. "You going to sit with me?" He asked. I walked over to him, and sat down. "Your parents seem nice." He said. I nodded. "Mom and George are great." I told him. Every set of parents have their issues. Mom and George's are pretty minimal. He nodded. He put an arm around me. I leaned my head on his shoulder. It feels natural; it doesn't feel forced. "Tell me something." He said. Taking my left hand, in his right hand. "What?" I asked him. "Anything." He answered.

"I write poetry." I told him. "Really? How long have you been writing?" He asked in surprise. I shrugged. "I'm really not sure. Ever since I was in… fifth grade, maybe. When my Mom and Dad would go at it, it made it easier to deal with things." I told him. I nodded. "Does Casey know that you write?" He asked. "No, she doesn't. Why?" I asked. "She seems like the type of person who would gloat about it, if she knew. Not in a bad way, of course, but she'd be proud of you." He said. He's only known her, for not even a day, and he has a handle on Casey.

"I haven't told anyone that I write." I told him. "Except for me?" He asked. I nodded against his shoulder. "Except for you." I told him. He smiled. "It's your turn." I told him. "When I was 8, my Dad left me and my Mom. The day after he left, some guy started harassing my mom. She set him straight, but it scared me that I couldn't protect her. After that day, I started working out every day. It made me feel like if something did happen, she wouldn't have to be afraid, because I would be there to protect her." He said quietly.

I turned my body to face him. I looked at him. "She's lucky to have you." I told him. He gave me a sad smile. I surprised myself by putting my arms around his neck, and hugging him. His arms wrapped around my waist, and he hugged me back. "I'm sorry about your Dad." I whispered. He shook his head. "Don't be. We're better off without him." He said. He didn't say anything further, and I didn't pry. I started to pull back. "What are you doing?" He asked, confused. "What are you doing?" I asked back. "I wasn't finished hugging." He said. I laughed, but leaned forward, and continued the hug. He kissed the top of my head, and let me go.

I moved back to where I was sitting before. "Can I read one of your poems?" He asked. I've never shown them to anyone before. "Maybe," I told him. "Oh, maybe." He said. I nodded. "I could always tickle you, until you let me." He said seriously. I shook my head. "What if I'm not ticklish?" I challenged. He nodded. He started tickling my sides. I squealed and tried to push him away. My body shook with laughter. I'm very ticklish, and I hate being tickled. "Stop," I told him in between laughs. He shook his head. "You didn't say please." He said. I glared at him.

He tickled behind my knees. I squealed again, and had a fit of laughter. He's smiling. I'm laying on the window seat, trashing around like a mad woman. He's on the opposite end of the window seat, leaning over me, tickling me relentlessly. "Please… please stop." I choked out. He nodded and quit tickling me. I glared at him. I got up, and started walking across the room. My breath is coming out in breathless pants. I do not want to be tickled again. If I laugh too much, I get the hiccups.

He picked me up and swung me into his arms. "Clay, put me down." I told him. "Only if you promise to stop being mad at me." He said. "No more tickling." I told him. "No more tickling." He repeated. "Okay." I said. He put me down. We are standing right next to my Beckham poster. He isn't in uniform in my poster. He has on a black wife beater, and a dark pair of jeans. His hands are wrapped with tape, and he looks so serious. It shows the tattoos on his arms. He looks drool-worthy.

"You like Beckham?" He asked. I nodded. "How could you tell?" I asked sarcastically. "It was just an inkling that I had." He said, playing along. I nodded. "He's an amazing soccer player. And, it doesn't hurt that he's very nice to look at." I said. Clay smirked. "I know, I mean, he rocks those jeans." He said. I doubled over with laughter. "I try." He said modestly. "But, how can a guy compete with that?" He asked, gesturing to the poster. "I mean, I aspire to be just like him. I've always wanted to be made out of paper." He said. I laughed even harder.

"I'm glad you're not made out of paper." I told him, still trying to regain my breath. He smirked. "Really?" He asked. "Really." I told him. "Good, because, if I was made out of paper, I couldn't do this." He said. "Do what?" I asked. He pulled me to him gently. He cupped my face and tilted my chin. He brought his lips to mine, softly. My lips tingled. Damn, can he kiss. He pulled away, keeping the kiss innocent. I blinked, and touched a hand to my lips. He gave a small chuckle. My bedroom door opened, and I gave a small jump. "Hey, dinner's done…" Derek said. He looked from me to Clay, and back to me again. "Am I interrupting something?" He asked. I shook my head. Clay and I left my room, and went into the hallway with Derek.

"Z, can I talk to you a minute?" He asked. I looked back at him. "Sure," I told him. "I'll meet you downstairs." Clay said. I nodded. "'Kay," I told him. I looked back to Derek. "Did you just get your first kiss, Z?" Derek asked in a hushed tone. I blushed furiously. I know that my face is giving me away. He smirked. "You did. You're growing up, Z." He said. I hit his arm, softly. "Shut up," I told him. His smirk grew. I turned to go downstairs. He made kissing noises at me. "Derek, so help me, if you don't stop, I will pelt you with tampons." I threatened. He smirked, but stopped taunting me.

I sat down at the dining room table, next to Clay and Casey.

-----------------------------------------------------------Later-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Dinner went well enough. Everyone made small talk. By the end of the meal, everyone was cracking jokes. Clay fit in with us, better than anyone expected. Mom and George went to bed. Casey took Marti upstairs. Edwin and Derek decided to play video games in Derek's room. That left me and Clay alone downstairs. We are sprawled out of the couch. We finally found something decent on. We settled for a new miniseries on SyFy. We're watching _Alice_.

"Hatter can definitely pull off that hat." I said more to myself, than to Clay. "You like his hat?" Clay asked, clearly amused. "More like, I like the person wearing the hat." I told him. He chuckled. "I'm not worried. He's got nothin' on me." He said. I laughed. Gradually, we shifted positions, as the show wore on. He stretched out on the couch, and I laid next to him. He wrapped his arms around me, and I used him like a pillow.

---------------------------------------------------------Later-----------------------------------------------------------------

"What are you two doing?!" I heard someone yell. I opened my eyes. The show is still on. I looked over at Clay. He looks like he just woke up. We must have fallen asleep. I sat up, and looked over to see who was yelling. It's Derek. "Relax Derek, we fell asleep." I told him, rubbing my temple. He looked at Clay suspiciously. Derek nodded, and walked back upstairs, clearly agitated. Clay sat up. He pulled his phone out of his pocket to check the time. It's 10:24. He sighed. "I better go." He said.

I nodded, then remembered that he didn't drive over here. "How are you going to get home?" I asked him stifling a yawn. "Oh shit, I forgot." He said. He hit some keys on his phone and held it up to his ear. "Hey, can you pick me up?" He asked into the phone. "See you in five, bye." He said. I looked at him questioningly. "My mom's going to pick me up." He said. I nodded. He put his arm around me, and I leaned into him, still tired. I yawned. I must have dozed off.

"Elle, I gotta go." He said. I opened my eyes. He's smiling at me. "Sorry," I said apologetically. He shook his head. "Don't be sorry. You should get some sleep." He said. I nodded. I got up and walked him to the door. He turned to leave, and changed his mind. For the second time today, he cupped my face, and tilted my head. He brought his lips to mine. I put an arm around his waist, and brought a hand to his face. He deepened the kiss, just slightly. He ran his tongue along my bottom lip. I gasped. He smiled against my lips. He pulled away. "I'll see you Friday." He promised. I nodded. He gave me one final goodnight kiss, and left. I shut the door behind him.

I went upstairs, to get some sleep. I looked up, just before I ran into Derek. He still looks pissed. He took my hand and led me to his room. I went with him. He flipped on his light, and shut the door. Edwin must have decided to do something in his room. "Why did you do it?" He asked. "Do what?" I asked. "Let him kiss you." He growled. I looked at Derek confused. Why is he acting this way. "We're going out on Friday. We're dating, Derek." I told him. "He isn't good enough for you." He said.

"Why?" I asked. "Because you deserve better than him." He said. "There isn't anything wrong with Clay." I protested. "You deserve better!" He half shouted. He grabbed me by the arms and looked at me. "Who's better, Derek?" I asked him softly. He shook his head. "Not him." He said quietly. "You're not making any sense." I told him. He touched his forehead to mine. "I'm sorry." He said. "I shouldn't have…" He whispered. He hugged me tightly, and let me go. He opened his bedroom door. "Have sweet dreams, Z." He said. "Make sure the bed bugs bite?" I asked him. He shook his head. "If they bite you, I'll kick their asses." He said with a small smirk.

I walked back to my room. I took off my shorts, and let them drop to the floor. I took my shirt, and my bra. I grabbed a clean shirt, and a pair of basketball shorts. I fell onto my bed, and let sleep wash over me. This morning, I wasn't sure of anything. Right now, I'm even more confused.

**Author's Note: Please review, if you read! You know you want to!! :D**

**~Anneryn**


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: Hello my lovelies! I am SO sorry that it took me SO long to update. My goal was to have a new chapter up every week. Things have just gotten too crazy to promise a weekly update. I'm trying for every other week now. Thank you SO much for the reviews! This chapter is extra long to make up for the slow update. I did use a few characters from Instant Star in this chapter. Their parts were minor, and probably just for this chapter. Thanks SO much to: hazelbrie13 for editing this chapter, and letting me bounce ideas of you!**

**-*-Hugs and junk-*-**

** ~Anneryn**

**I DO NOT OWN LIFE WITH DEREK OR THE CHARACTERS (I only play in their world & pretend it's mine.)**

**NOR DO I OWN INSTANT STAR OR THE CHARACTERS**

**Music Credit: One Step Closer – Linkin Park, Time of Dying – Three Days Grace, Shooting Star – Lindsay Robins, The Breakdown – Alexz Johnson**

**Chapter 4:**

I sat up and awoke with a start. I clutched my blankets to my chest. My heart is racing, and I can feel sweat running down the sides of my face. I can't shake the nightmare I just had. I can't for the life of me remember what it was. Because of this, I can't understand why I am terrified. I can't shake the bubbling fear, jumping around in the pit of my stomach. I heard a muffled laugh, and what sounded like someone falling off of a bed.

I listened intently, straining my ears. Mom wouldn't be up this late, and that isn't Casey's laughter. I sighed. Derek must have someone over. I got up, and made my way to my bedroom door. I feel like I'm going to be sick. I opened my door a crack, and peered out into the hallway. I heard the laugh, again. I know that laugh. It's the annoying laugh from the diner. He must have that blonde bimbo over.

What was her name? Darcy? Daphne? No, those aren't it. What was it? Dulcie? No… Destiny! That's what it was. I groaned silently. The coast is clear. Light is streaming onto the hallway floor. It's escaping from Derek's room. His door is closed. I shuddered. I'll never be able to sit on his bed, again. I walked to Casey's room, quietly. I opened the door gently, careful not to let it make any noise. I shut it behind me.

"Lizard? Why are you still awake?" Casey asked me. I jumped in surprise. I didn't expect to see her awake. She's writing in her diary. "Nightmare," I told her. She nodded knowingly. She scooted over on her bed, and lifted the covers. I slid under, and lay next to her. She continued to write. "Want to talk about it?" She asked. I shook my head. "I do, but I can't remember what it was, or what happened." I explained. She nodded, understandingly.

"Try to get some sleep, Lizard. Just tune them out." Casey told me soothingly. So she had realized that Derek had a girl over. It hurts, but exhaustion is overriding my need to care. I closed my eyes. Casey shut her diary, and put it in her hiding spot. She turned off her small reading lamp, and got settled, next to me. She put an arm around my waist and hugged me closer to her. I moved closer, and allowed myself to drift to sleep. It's easier, when I feel protected.

* * *

I'm back in Derek's room. I opened my eyes, and squinted at his clock. It's not even 2 in the morning. How did I get here? I was in Casey's room. What's going on? I heard giggling, and his bedroom door flew open. He came crashing in with a giggling Destiny in his arms. I fought the urge to gag. He smiled at me. He looks genuine, enough. "Good, you're here Z." He said happily. I looked at him with a very confused face.

"We wanted to put on a show for you. We knew that you'd like it." He said merrily. What is he on? Has he been sniffing something?... Smoking something?... I have no idea what's going on here. Destiny looked at me and laughed. "She can't move, can she?" Destiny asked Derek. He shook his head, smirking. What? What does she mean, I can't move? I looked up, slowly. I'm chained to the bed. And I'm not talking: a chained wrist. I'm talking: both wrists, and both ankles. I started writhing, trying to get free.

Derek bent over me, slowly. He's still smirking. He gave me a soft kiss. Everything else melted away: everything except the feeling of his lips on mine. He pulled away, and smirked again. Destiny sat down next to him. She kissed me on the cheek. I turned my head, but couldn't deflect her completely. She giggled, annoyingly. She started kissing Derek. If being a hostess doesn't work out, she should consider being a professional escort. My God, she's like a Hoover vacuum, trying to detach his tongue from his mouth. She's giving a whole new meaning to "sucking face."

He's responding almost as eagerly. I can't stand this. I don't want to be watching this. I tried to turn my head, and look away. I can't move. I'm physically rooted to the spot. His hands slide under her shirt, and he pulls it off of her. His shirt follows suit, seconds later. He's pinning her to the bed. He turns to face me, as she kisses his neck, while she lies under him. I feel so exposed.

They switch places. She's straddling his legs. She looks a little too comfortable with her new position. Dare I say: practice? I think I do. She's grinding her hips against his, softly. His eyes are closed, and his breathing is jagged. She's giving him pleasure that I will never be able to. She guides his hands to her front: a hand cupping each of her breasts. Only then, did I realize what kind of bra she was wearing. I'm not sure that "padded" is the right word. If the bra was any more padded, it could be a set of boobs on its own. It's an extreme pushup bra, with God knows how much padding. Does she have anything there, without it?

Derek seems to notice the same thing. She reached behind her, and undoes her clasp. The "bra" falls to the bed, beside her. Everything goes black. Her chest is touching his now. She's moaning uncontrollably. I'm trying to block out the sounds. My eyes refuse to close. Nevertheless, my vision is blurred with tears that won't spill. She's screaming his name. He doesn't say anything. He's breathing hard, and gasping. He grunts, but no names spill from his mouth.

Her face melts, and begins to drip down her chin. It looks like flesh colored paint. It's leaving behind a featureless face: just another faceless whore, in his bed notch. The sex gets more heated, and frustrated. Everything goes quiet, and she disappears. I look around, and she sitting on the floor, next to his bed. Her feet are against his room wall. He's refusing to look at her. She's reaching for him. "You don't mean anything." He mutters. She sobs, but nothing changes.

Her face is blank, no difference is made. He lies next to me, and lays his head on my shoulder. I'm still unable to move. I try to move away. It doesn't work. "What's wrong, Z? Didn't like the show?" He asked.

I started shaking. It feels like someone is shaking me. I sat up, and tried to sit up further, but someone's arm prevented that from happening. I blinked. It's still dark. My side is warm. Casey's still beside me. It takes me a second to realize that Derek is holding me. I try to push him off, but he doesn't let go. "Are you okay, Z?" He asked, clearly concerned. I looked at him puzzled.

"I was on my way back to my room from the bathroom, when I heard you. You were talking in your sleep. I couldn't make out what you were saying. You were tossing and turning. You sounded upset, and panicked." He said. I didn't say anything. "You were having a nightmare." He whispered. Well, no shit Sherlock. He tilted my chin up, so I was forced to look at his face. His hair is wet, and he smells like his body-wash. He must have just gotten out of the shower.

"I-I… thanks." I struggled to say. He doesn't look like he's giving up. I am under no circumstance telling him about the nightmare that I just had. My breathing is still jagged from the nightmare. "Z, if you want to talk about it…" He offered. I shook my head, slightly. "It's fine, Derek. Just… let it go. Okay?" I tried. He nodded slowly. His phone went off. We both jumped. I ended up with my face in his chest. His arms went around me, protectively. His hand dug in his pocket for his phone.

_I find the answers aren't so clear_

_Wish I could find a way to disappear_

_All these thoughts, they make no sense_

_I find bliss in ignorance_

Casey stirred, but didn't wake up. "Hello," he whispered. I can hear that annoying voice coming out of the phone. She talks _**so**_ loudly. "Derek, baby, I had a great time. Do you want to do it again?" She asked. He grimaced more to himself, than to me. "Things are going to be pretty crazy for awhile. But, I might give you a call sometime." He said, hanging up the phone. The last thing I heard was her giggling. I rolled my eyes. Thankfully it's dark in Casey's room.

He turned his phone on vibrate, and stuck it back into his pocket. "Talk to me." He said, to me this time. I shook my head. "I don't want to remember the dream." I told him. He didn't do anything. "It isn't a dream, if it's a nightmare." He whispered. "I know." I whispered back. "You should try to sleep. It's just after 1:30." He whispered. I nodded, my head still pressed against his chest. He let go of me, and laid my head back onto the pillow.

"Remember what I said about those bedbugs." He said. I nodded. "You'll kick their ass if they bite me." I said, remembering his words from earlier. "Damn straight." He said. I gave a small laugh. "No more nightmares." He whispered. Like I can really control my dreams or nightmares for that matter. I closed my eyes, feeling exhaustion taking its toll of me, once more. "I've got Case to protect me." I whispered, half asleep.

He started to sing softly, trying to help me fall asleep.

_On the ground I lay, motionless, in pain_

_I can see my life, flashing before my eyes_

_Did I fall asleep? Is this all a dream?_

_Wake me up, I'm living a nightmare_

_I will not die._

_I will survive._

He knows it's one of my favorite songs, from Three Days Grace. He remembers. Last year, on my birthday, he took me to a Three Days Grace concert. I fall even closer to sleep, remembering that night. For one night, everything was perfect.

_I will not die. I'll wait here for you._

_I feel alive, when you're beside me._

_I will not die. I'll wait here for you._

_In my time of dying_

His voice grew softer, and softer. It sounds farther, and farther away. I felt him get up from the bed. I felt something brush my forehead, and I heard Casey's door open and close softly. I could have sworn I heard him say, "Sweet Dreams, Z. You deserve them. The monsters can't get you here." It was probably my imagination.

* * *

I woke up to the sound of someone whispering, and snuggling closer to me. I can feel Casey's breath on my neck. Is she the one whispering? I opened my eyes slowly, and reluctantly. It's not bright in Casey's room. It must still be early in the morning. 5 maybe? It feels like I've slept for awhile. I didn't have any nightmares. Two in one night is certainly enough.

I shifted a bit. "You awake, Lizard?" Casey asked. I nodded, groggily. I'm still not completely awake. I sat up, slowly. "You want to grab an early breakfast, before everyone else gets up?" A male voice asked. Who is talking? Everything is still blurry, not even my eyes are fully awake yet. Derek? It took me a few moments to process what he had said. "Z? Do you want to get breakfast? If you and Space Case get dressed, I'll drive." He said. He laid a hand on my forearm. I stared at it.

He knows that sometimes it takes me a bit to process things. I nodded slowly. Casey let go of me, and I swung my legs off of the bed. I stood up, slowly, careful not to fall over. I feel rested, but I'm so out of it. I started walking to the bedroom door. Derek followed closely behind me. I opened the door, and headed to my own room. I tripped over one of Edwin's shoes. Derek's arms shot out from behind me. He caught me protectively, and prevented me from falling. I muttered a quick thank you, and went into my room. As I shut my door, he gave me a strange look, but continued to his room.

I pulled off my shirt, and dropped it in my hamper. I really should do laundry later. I opened one of my dresser drawers, and pulled out a clean bra. It's one of my nicer ones. Well, they are all "nice," thanks to Casey. Even my sports bras are expensive. It's dark blue, lacy, and a push up. It's one of my favorites. I love the color blue. I put it on, and dropped my shorts. I picked them up, and dropped them into the hamper. I kicked off my panties, and replaced them with a pair that matches my bra. I pulled on some socks, and looked for something to wear.

Though, I feel rested, I cannot stop yawning. I grabbed the pair of shorts I wore the night before. Wait, these aren't the same. They're a lighter pair, but they look almost identical. How… Casey. I shrugged, and put them on. I stepped into a pair of flip-flops. They are dark blue, and have little glass beads sewn on. At least my toes are painted. Last week Casey dragged me to get a pedicure with her. They are a deep crimson color.

I walked over to my closest, and looked at my shirts. I'm not actually looking too hard. I've lost all determination. I just want to crawl back into bed. It should be illegal to be up at this ungodly hour. I sighed. I pulled out a dark gray, tee shirt. I pulled it on. It's tighter than I remember. I was looking for something loose, but at this point, I don't really care. I walked over to my vanity and rubbed leave-in conditioner through my hair. I'll have to shower when we get back. I used my brush a little, and added some more conditioner. It helps keep my hair wavy, not frizzy.

I put on some deodorant. For the first time, I realized what shirt I had grabbed. It has a stick figure on the front. It says: I do have superpowers. I just don't want to show you. I chuckled. I spritzed a bit of body spray. With sudden determination that came out of nowhere I grabbed my eyeliner, and put some on. I sighed, and headed to the bathroom. I need to brush my teeth, and I have got to pee.

--------------------------------------------------Meanwhile, downstairs---------------------------------------------------------

Derek's P.O.V.

I hated to wake her up. She looked so peaceful when she was sleeping, especially after last night. I wasn't sure what I was hearing. I just got out of the shower. Inviting Destiny over, seemed like a good idea at the time. But, by the time she left, I was trying to wash the essence of her off of me. I guess I didn't notice the stench of whore on her before. That or I just didn't care. Either way, she got old fast. Once she was over, it made more sense for me to get _**something**_ out of it. I used her, and she left.

But, honestly, I think that's what she wanted too. I was heading back to my room, when I heard noises coming out of Space Case's room. Casey's never been one for nightmares, or to call out in her sleep. The occasional almost snore, but nothing like what I was hearing. I decided to see what was going on. It turned out to be Lizzie. She looked terrified, of whatever she was seeing in her dream. I couldn't stand seeing her like that. I had to wake her up.

Whatever it was, she wouldn't tell me about it. I did the only thing I could think of to sooth her. I sang to her. I knew that she couldn't hate my voice. She's never missed a D-Rock performance. I've even given her guitar lessons. I waited until I thought she was asleep to leave her, sleeping. I kissed her forehead softly. I whispered something I would never say while she was awake. Last night, Z brought out a side of me that rarely surfaces.

Creaking on the stairs, redirected my attention to the staircase. Lizzie walked down the stairs, still looking half asleep. She put a hand over her mouth, and yawned tiredly. I don't think she's gotten enough sleep. I wonder why she's been having so much trouble sleeping. She sat down on the couch, and leaned her head back, and shut her eyes. Her breathing slowed. She's sleeping. I'll let her sleep while Casey finishes getting ready. She probably has a bit.

-------------------------------------------------20 minutes later----------------------------------------------------------------

Casey came bouncing down the stairs quietly. She's always been such a morning person. Dad doesn't work today. Ed and Smarti will be fine. She started to say something, but noticed Liz asleep on the couch. She gave me an apologetic look. She knows that if she had been ready earlier, that Z would still be awake. I shrugged. I don't always get along with Casey. Okay, I almost never get along with her. But, with Z around, it's tolerable. I enjoy our banter. Truth be told, I think that she does too. It will be nice to have breakfast with just the two of them.

I sat on the couch next to Lizzie. I shook her gently, and said her name quietly. She opened her eyes, and tried to sit up. It took her a second to realize that she had fallen asleep sitting up. She gave me a soft smile. I smiled at her. I got up, and offered her my hand to help her stand up. I pulled her up, easily. Casey grabbed my keys. I led Lizzie to the door, and we headed out.

--------------------------------------------------------Later, at breakfast----------------------------------------------------------

Lizzie's P.O.V.

I didn't realize how tired I was until I fell asleep on the couch. We went to a local place: Sunlight. It isn't normally busy at this time. It picks up around 9 or so. There are always a few early birds. Scott, the owner of Sunlight, took our orders. Sunlight is one of my favorite places in town. His mom's family started the dinner. His mom passed away when he was young. His father died about 15 years ago. That's when he took over Sunlight. I never saw it, before he took over. But now, it's amazing.

It feels comfortable, like home. I wouldn't say that I have a lot of adult friends, or extended family. But I would say that Scott is one of those friends, and definitely extended family. Ed and I always stop off here, before heading to school. We get two coffees to go. Casey's complaining brought me back to the present.

I finished my second coffee. We waited for our food, and talked.

------------------Friday (Sorry for skipping ahead, I really wanted the date in this chapter.)-----------------------

Casey pulled me off of the couch, and practically dragged me upstairs. "You HAVE to get ready, Lizard." Casey commanded. I groaned as she led me upstairs. Derek chuckled from his room. Edwin gave me a sympathetic look. Marti moved in front of Casey, and blocked the entry way to her door. "I'm her fairy Godmother! I have to help Liza become Cinderella!!" Marti yelled excitedly. Casey beamed at her. I glared. Edwin laughed, and went into his room.

Derek came out of his room, and followed us into Casey's room. Casey shot him a glare. "What?" He asked innocently. "Someone needs to look out for Z's wellbeing." He explained. Casey gave him a hesitant, approving nod. He shut her bedroom door behind him. She sat me on her bed, and opened her closet. I swear, if the mall ever runs out of clothes, it won't matter as long as we have Casey's closet. Derek leaned against Casey's door, and Marti went to the closet and peered at the clothes with Casey.

Casey started pulling arm loads of clothes from her closet, and placing them on her bed, beside me. I groaned. She glared at me. "He said it was casual. I don't need to dress up, Case." I told her. She glared at me again. She finally shrugged. "Fine, you can pick out your clothes, BUT I have to approve them. AND I get to put some makeup on you." She said. I sighed. I shook my head defiantly. I'm going to lose this argument. "Alright, but only a little bit. Don't go overboard; I don't want to wear as much as you do." I told her, defeated. She squealed and clapped her hands together, excitedly.

I got up, and started to walk toward her bedroom door, when I remembered something. "Did you give me more shorts?" I asked her. She gave me a look of feigned innocence. "Me?" She asked. I nodded. "Yep, you." I answered. She gave me a small smile. So, she did. "Yes, but I knew that they would fit you. They were still on sale, so I went and got you some more." She admitted. She's sweet, and I know she means well. "Thanks Case." I thanked her. She looked surprised. I don't think that she was expecting me to be grateful.

She crouched down, and pulled out a big shopping bag out of her closet. "I got these for you, too. But, I didn't know how to give them to you. So… here." She said, handing me the bag. I looked inside. They are actually clothes that I would wear. There are more shorts, some miniskirts, shirts, and some… undergarments. I smiled. I set the bag on her bed. I hugged her. I walked to the door. I waited for Derek to move out of the way. He stood still for a second. I took the bag back to my room. I kicked off my slippers, and pulled a few of the items out of the bag.

Derek followed me into the room. "What do you want, Derek?" I asked him, not bothering to look over. He shut the door. I can picture him shrugging, without having to turn around. "Thought you could use a guy's opinion." He said. I smiled to myself, not letting him see it. I turned around. "Thanks," I said suspiciously. Normally if he does something like this, he's plotting something. He smirked, as if hearing what I was thinking.

I turned back around, and grabbed the shorts out of the bag. I left the skirts in there. I have no idea what we are doing. I held up a couple pairs of the shorts for Derek to look at. He pointed to the pair in my right hand. They are light blue, and faded. They are ripped in some spots, and look vintage. I nodded and put them on my bed. I went to go look in the closet. Derek went over to my bed to see what else was in the bag.

I pulled some shirts off of their hangers, and went over to him. He looks red, like he's blushing. Derek never blushes. What would make him…? Oh. He's holding two of the bras that Casey got for me. A pair of panties are on my bed. I forgot that they were in the bag.

They aren't exactly… conservative, either. Casey has the same taste I do, with those sorts of things. Mine aren't meant for anyone to see. It's all lace, and pushups. Both of the bras he is holding are blue. One is a very dark blue, with flecks of black and white in it. The other is just navy blue. I cleared my throat, trying to avoid his eyes. He didn't let go of them. "Why did Space Case get you…?" He asked. "She, um, she buys them for me, if she goes bra shopping without me. We've, um, always done that." I said, hurriedly. He nodded, now scarlet. He's returning to his natural color.

I put the shirts I had been holding on my bed. One was a halter. It's white, with faded, black, tattoo-like designs all over it. The other is similar, but has thin spaghetti straps, instead of being a halter. It's red with purple markings all over it. I like the halter top the best. One of the bras that Casey got for me awhile back has straps that you can turn into a halter. I smiled, remembering this. It's even a white bra. What are the odds? I put the red shirt away, and put the white shirt on my bed.

Derek nodded, approvingly. I stared at him for second. He didn't get the hint. "Can I change now? I mean, if you approve of the outfit?" I asked. He nodded, and looked slightly embarrassed. He left my room. I waited until he shut my door, and stripped off my clothes. I put on my halter bra, and one of the new pairs of dark blue panties that Casey got for me. They are the girl version of boxer briefs. They've always been my favorite.

I put my shirt on, and then my shorts. I put on some new deodorant. I don't want B.O. on our date. I spritzed a bit of body spray, and put on a bit of lotion. I grabbed some ankle socks, and put them on. I grabbed my navy blue, low-tops, and slipped them on. I opened the door, and found a waiting Derek.

"Derek, do you make it a habit to steal Lizzie's bras?" Edwin taunted him. He looked down at his hand. He is still holding my bras. He pushed past me, gently, and went into my room. He set them on my bed, and came back into the hallway. Ed was laughing. Derek smirked. He shrugged. "I figured she'd get mad if I took her clothes, like Space Case. I guess not." He said, trying to play it off. Ed continued to laugh, but accepted his explanation nonetheless.

Only Derek could pull that off. I held back my own laughter. I went back to Casey's room. She squealed, excitedly. I hope she doesn't do that anymore. I'm not sure how much my ears can take. She sat me down at her vanity. I'm facing away from the mirror, and towards her. She ordered me to close my eyes. I did what I was told. She started messing with my hair. I trust Casey. I don't think that she'll make me look bad. But, I am afraid that she'll get overexcited and overdo it.

After awhile, she left my hair alone, hopefully satisfied. I was tempted to doze off. I still haven't been allowed to open my eyes. I felt her brush something on my face. She has officially started my makeup. A little while later, she told me to open my eyes. I had to blink a few times. Everything's a bit blurry. She told me to sit still, and she put some eyeliner on me. She added some mascara, and stepped back to enjoy her handiwork. Please don't let me look like a clown. Please don't let me look like a clown!!

"You look good, Z." Derek said. I looked over to where his voice was coming from. I didn't expect him to stay. I'm glad he did. Marti jumped up and down. "Liza looks like a princess!" Marti exclaimed. I laughed, but Casey's smile only widened. "He's not going to know what hit him." Casey said a bit smugly. I gave her a questioning look. "See for yourself." She said, gesturing for me to turn around, and peer into the mirror.

I look like a more made up version of myself. I smiled. She didn't overdo it. It's definitely more than I would have used. But, I never use more than eyeliner and mascara. (I have only used mascara a few times.) Derek cleared his throat. I got up, and looked over at him. He looks like he's thinking about something that he wants to say. "Maybe you shouldn't go, Z." He said, suddenly. I looked at him, shocked. "What, why?!" Casey demanded. "She's looks amazing!" Casey practically screamed. She can't believe what Derek said, and she's beside herself.

"That's my point. She can't leave, looking like that." He said, gesturing to me. "That doesn't make sense." I said quietly. He walked closer to me, and whispered in my ear. "I don't want something to happen to you." He pleaded. I looked at him confused. Does he think I look like a slut? I don't look remotely slutty. "What are you trying to say, Derek?" I asked him in a whisper, trying to keep the hurt out of my voice. I wish I could say that his opinion doesn't mean anything to me, but I can't. It means too much.

He hugged me, and leaned his mouth close to my ear, so he wouldn't be overheard. I put my hands against his chest, and tried to push him away. He didn't let me. "I didn't mean it like that, Z. I just don't want anything to happen to you. It's hard enough letting you go out…. Looking like…. You're just…." He said. I don't understand what he's trying to say. He shook his head, against my neck. "You don't even know." He whispered. He sighed, and pulled away. I let my arms drop. I looked at him with a very confused face. There's something in his eyes; I can't tell what it is.

He gave me a forced smirk. "You look great Z. Have a good time. If he hurts you, I'll kick his ass." He promised. I nodded. The door bell rang. I tried to leave Casey's room to go answer the door, but she pulled me back. "You aren't ready yet." She said. I gave Derek an exasperated look. He laughed. "Go answer the door, Derek. I'll finish getting Lizard ready." Casey said. He did what he was told, still laughing.

"What else do you have to do?" I asked Casey. "Earrings," she responded. I rolled my eyes. I went back to my room. I have my cartilage pierced on my ear. I put a small diamond stud in, and opted not to wear anymore earrings. I grabbed a hoodie, and put my phone in my pocket. I headed back to Casey. "Can I go now?" I asked her. "Yes, but let me go down first." She said. I sighed. I watched her go downstairs and make excited small talk. I waited a minute and followed suit.

My breath caught. Clay looks amazing. He's wearing a black, Hedley band tee, and dark jeans. The shirt fits him snugly, and he is rocking those jeans. He's watching me come down the stairs. I hope I don't trip. He came over to hug me, as I reached the landing. Derek's eye twitched.

Derek's P.O.V.

I can feel my fingers digging into my palms. If I clench my fists any tighter, my hands might break. I don't understand why I am so angry. I just know that Z can't go out with him. He doesn't deserve her. He never will. He isn't good enough for her. She can do better than him. She should be with…

Casey squealed, and brought my attention back to reality. I sighed, but tried to pass it off as boredom. Earlier, I didn't realize that what I said to Z could hurt her. I never wanted to hurt her. I just can't stand the thought of her going out with him, looking as… beautiful as she does. If he or anyone else didn't notice before, they definitely will now. The kicker is that she doesn't even realize that she's beautiful.

I don't know what I feel for Lizzie. I just know that I can't stand the thought of her with any other guy. Hell, having her date another chick would be better than this. That I might like to see… I can feel hatred rolling off my skin, just by thinking about Clay.

I don't think that he would hurt her, or let someone else hurt her. He has that going for him. But, I don't want him trying to make moves on her, either. She's too…

Casey pushed my arm, lightly. "What?" I asked her. "What time do you think that they should be back by? Mom and George left, they won't be back for a few hours. We have to give her a time." Casey said. I nodded slowly. "What time is it, now?" I asked her. "7," she told me. I nodded. "Midnight, I guess." I told them, shrugging.

Lizzie's P.O.V.

Derek is still acting strangely. I'm not sure what his deal is. I wish I knew. Then I wonder… if it's better that I don't know. I sighed. Clay slid his fingers in between mine. I wonder what he has planned for us. I'm not worried. I can't see anything that he has planned, being something bad. "I need to take a picture of you guys!" Casey exclaimed. She went bouncing off to find her camera before I could protest. I looked up at Clay. "I'm sorry." I gave him a quick apology.

He chuckled. "It's fine, Elle. Who wouldn't want to be in a picture with you?" He said. I tried not to blush. He's really going to have to stop this, if he doesn't want a tomato as a date, all night. "Okay, move closer together. You need to put your arm around her. Mom is going to flip that she missed this." Casey said. Clay chuckled, and let go of my hand. Derek looked relieved for a second. Clay wrapped an arm around my waist, and hugged me to him. I put an arm around him waist. "Smile!!" Casey instructed, happily. We smiled and she snapped away.

Thirty-two pictures later, Derek finally convinced her that she had enough, and that she could stop. She agreed to stop, reluctantly. Casey hugged me. Marti jumped on me and told me that I should take her with me. Derek told me to be careful, and hugged me goodbye. Ed came down and threatened Clay. From the looks of Derek, I'm sure that Derek has too. He gave me a quick hug, and we left.

---------------------------------------------------Later---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He surprised me by taking me laser-tagging. I was SO thrilled. How awesome is that for a first date? The laser tag place has four levels. We must have played for what seemed like hours. Even if we didn't date, I can definitely see us staying friends. He'd be an awesome guy friend to have. Since I've always had more guy friends, than girl friends, I don't see it as being too much of a problem.

We turned in our laser guns, and our vests. The hostess, who was explaining the rules to some new people about to start laser tagging, flirted ridiculously with Clay. He didn't seem to notice. The guy who took our vests and guns from us, somehow managed to piss off Clay. I'm really not sure why. He was nice enough. He asked us how we liked the laser tag, and smiled a lot. I thought he was friendly. Clay kept staring him down. When the guy went to return our things, I pushed Clay's arm, gently. "What's your deal?" I asked him, quietly. "He's been checking you out." He answered, equally quietly.

I burst out laughing. He looked at me curiously. "That's why you're in a bad mood?" I asked him. "I'm not in a bad mood. I just don't enjoy watching other guys hit on you." He argued. I looked at him seriously. "He's not flirting with me." I argued back. He gave me a doubtful look. I rolled my eyes, playfully. He grabbed my sides, and started tickling me. I let out a stream of laughter. "Jerk… not… fair…. I do-don't…. tickle…. Y-you." I struggled to say, through my laughter. He only smiled. He finally stopped tickling me, when the guy returned. Clay paid for the laser tag after much argument. I tried to pay for myself, but he wouldn't have that.

We left laser tag, and went to get some dinner. It's only 9:15; we have time. We went to a local place: Wall to Wall. It's a family place, but it's pretty vacant of children after 7 or so. The dance floor opens around 8, so the families try to have their kids elsewhere. It isn't a bad environment for kids to be in, but the atmosphere tends to change. It becomes more chill, and bit less kid-friendly. It's a little nicer than Sal's or Sunlight, but not fancy.

There is almost always live music at night, around 9 or later. Around 8, the lights dim, and the lights over the dance floor are turned off. The dance floor is open and leads into the eating area. There are pool tables on the other side of the restaurant. There are strobe and neon lights that flash around the dance floor. Tonight, Jude Harrison is performing with her band, and so is Patsy Sewer.

We found a table towards the dance floor, and we ordered our food. Jude and Patsy haven't set up yet. I forgot that they would be performing tonight. I'm pretty ecstatic. Our waitress brought us our drinks. "So, how's tonight been so far?" Clay asked me. I smiled. "It's been pretty fantastic, actually." I told him. "Oh, really?" He asked, feigning surprise. I rolled my eyes. He chuckled. Some hair fell into my face. He brushed it away, gently. I gave him a small smile, and tried not to blush.

He put his hand into mine. Something crashed on stage. We turned our attention to the dance floor. It looks like they are finally setting up. "You want to go out there, when they come out?" He asked. I looked at him and nodded. "Yeah," I told him. He nodded. A guy came up to our table with a green Mohawk. "Hey guys, sorry to interrupt you. I just wanted to let you know that tonight Jude Harrison and Patsy Sewer are performing." He finished.

His ears are gaged, and his lip is pierced. I've seen him around here before, just never talked to him. I nodded. "Thanks," I told him. He smiled and walked off. "Do you like Jude and Patsy?" Clay asked uncertainly. I nodded. "I really like their music." I told him, honestly. He smiled. "Good." He said smiling. He reached across the table and laced his fingers with mine. He peered into my eyes. I looked back at him. "Do you like to dance?" I asked him. He smirked. "I wouldn't say that I _**like**_ to dance, but I will with a beautiful woman." He said. I blushed.

Our waitress came back with our food. She placed it in the middle of the table. We got burgers and fries. She slipped Clay a small piece of paper. "Call me, if you ever get bored with her." She said, pointedly. I can feel my face getting red. I tried to pull my hand away from his gently. He held on too tightly. He isn't letting go. He handed the paper back to her. "You can keep this, I won't need it." He told her. She is fuming. "No one rejects me." She said, stunned. "I did." He said simply. She looked at me, and glared. "You're such a bitch." She said. I looked at her, but didn't say anything.

She walked away fuming. Clay laughed as she walked away. I shook my head. "Wow," is all I could say. That never happens to _**me**_. I guess I can't say that anymore. "Why did you try to pull away?" He asked, seriously. I shrugged. "I don't like confrontation." I told him. "It's not my style to get in someone's face. It would take more than someone calling me a bitch, to get me angry." I told him. Honestly, that's the truth.

We ate, and it wasn't in any way awkward. It was nice. People started getting up to crowd around the stage, on the dance floor. I looked over. Patsy is getting ready to start singing. "Let's go." Clay said. He got up, and offered me his hand, and helped me up. We walked over to the stage, and managed to get a place standing in the front. The music is starting. I closed my eyes, and let the music flow through me. She started singing, and I opened my eyes.

_Lying on the ground_

_Staring at the sky_

_I can't see nothing_

_Trying to be blind_

_I just see fire_

_I see the flame_

_I see the future _

_And it won't change_

_A single thing I do, I do_

_Watch me burn like a shooting star_

_You never thought I'd get this far_

_Turn to dust in the atmosphere_

_Don't you blink_

_I might disappear_

_Like a shooting star_

_Like a shooting star_

We danced, as best we could. There are a lot of people. It's amazing. My arms are around his neck and his hands are holding my sides. They are holding me closer to him, as we move to the music. She stopped singing, as the song ended. We let go of each other, and brought our attention back to Patsy. She is breathing heavily. Her dark brown hair, is sticking to parts of her face. She doesn't hold back when she performs. "I'll be back on later, if any of you fuckers care." Patsy announced. Laughter filled her audience. She left the stage. I leaned against Clay. He put his arms around my waist, pulling my back to his chest. I took a deep breath, and enjoyed it.

Someone else came on stage. Jude picked up the microphone. "How are you guys tonight?!" She yelled. We cheered. "That's what I want to here! I'm glad you guys came out tonight!" She exclaimed, getting us pumped. "Now, to prove that you all don't suck ass, give it up for my boys!" She yelled. We screamed. Her band members walked on stage. Spiederman lifted up his shirt. The girls in the audience went wild. I laughed. "Now that Speed is finished flashing you all…" Jude said. She stopped talking. Music filled the air, once more.

She started singing.

_What just happened? Did you kiss me?_

'_Cause that's a place we've never been, until now_

_And I don't know how it's gonna be after this_

_Do we pretend these feelings don't exist at all?_

_Or do we fall?_

We started dancing again. She smiled at us. I smiled back. We moved slower.

_My confusion shows_

_Whenever you get too close_

_I stutter; I stumble, forget what to say_

_I'm nervous; I wonder why I'm acting this why._

_It's temporary insanity_

_What's going on with you or me?_

_Is it real or is it fantasy?_

_Forever or just temporary?_

_Insanity_

Spiederman went over to Jude and started singing with her. They started dancing. The song ended. We broke apart. "Who's ready for another song?!" She asked. We cheered. She reached down and starting touching hands from people in the audience. She grabbed my hand, and squeezed. She smiled at me. I smiled back. She started another song.

_It's out to get me. And it's all in my head._

_It wants to take me. Time to put me to bed_

_Can someone wake me, against my will?_

_And get me out of here; I'm sick of walking on pills._

_I've got a weakness, so tell me where is the bliss?_

_Can someone shake me? And get me out of this fix?_

_All the white walls are closing up tight._

_I need to know, if I can get through the night._

We danced and listened to most of her songs. We left around 11:30. I was buzzing. Not on alcohol or anything, it has just been an amazing night. He walked me to the door. I unlocked the door, and let myself in. We stood staring at each other, awkwardly. "You don't have to stand there. You can come in, Clay." I told him. He gave me a small smile, and came in. "I enjoyed tonight, Elle." He told me. I smiled. "I did too." I told him.

He hugged me. He pulled away, only barely. His fingers lifted my chin. I looked up at him. "You look so beautiful, tonight." He whispered, his breath dancing across my face. He pressed his lips to mine, softly. The kiss became more urgent. His tongue ran along my bottom lip. He captured my lip between his, and tugged gently. I gasped, against his mouth. He released my lip, and slipped his tongue into my mouth. His hand went to the back of my hand, and intertwined with my hair. I put my hand to the side of his face.

His tongue moved against mine. I wasn't really sure what do to do. Whatever I'm doing doesn't seem like I'm doing it wrong. I moved mine against his. His other arm went around my waist, keeping me against him. I pulled back, before the kiss went any farther. He touched his forehead to mine, before touching it with his lips. He brought his lips to mine. We kissed, but it stayed tame this time. We broke apart at the sound of someone clearing their throat. I looked over. It's Derek. He's in the kitchen. How long as he been there? "I should go. Bye Elle." Clay said. I nodded. He kissed me goodbye, and left.

I started for the stairs; Derek doesn't look too happy. "Z, wait." He ordered. I froze in my tracks. "We need to talk." He said. I turned around. He shook his head. "Not here, come on." He said. I nodded. He grabbed my hand and led me up the stairs. I expected him to take me to his room, but instead, he led me to mine. He opened my door. I went inside, and he followed me. He turned on my light, and shut the door. He walked over to my iPod dock-station, and turned it on.

He locked my door, so we wouldn't be interrupted. "What the hell do you think you are doing Z?" He asked. "What are you talking about Derek?" I asked him. "You're shoving your tongue down some guy's throat in the middle of the living room!" He practically screamed. "We were out on a date, Derek!" I yelled back. The music covered the screaming. "So you shove your tongue down his throat?! You let him put his hands all over you!" He yelled.

This is starting to piss me off. "You don't have any room to talk Derek! Who are you to tell me, what I can, and cannot do on a date?! What do you do with your dates?! How far do you go?! What were you doing with Destiny?!!" I screamed back, just as angry. He looks even more pissed off, now. "You don't know what you're talking about Lizzie! What I do is different! If I fuck some girl, it doesn't matter!" He yelled, exasperated. "You can screw some random chick, but I can't kiss a guy! Is that it?!" I asked. He didn't say anything.

"Z, don't. Just don't." He said. His voice is steady, but his eyes are pleading. Pleading for what? "Don't what, Derek? What is this all about?" I asked him. He shook his head. "Don't turn this around on me. Don't make this about me. It's about you. It's not about me." He said in an even voice. "Isn't it, though? This is all about you. I don't understand what's going on with you. I didn't do anything _**wrong**_. You have a problem, and you won't tell me why." I said, softly. He didn't say anything. "I can't Liz. I just… can't. I'm sorry, Z. I shouldn't have… you don't… you don't know what… it, what it does… to m…" He said, stopping before he could say what he wanted to say.

"You aren't making any sense. You don't care about… It's all double standards… If it isn't some bimbo or… You don't… You don't care." I said softly. He actually looks hurt, by my words. "I do care, Elizabeth." He whispered. He never calls me "Elizabeth." I looked at him, still confused. "Then why, Derek?" I asked him, hoping to get an answer. He pulled me to him. This is starting to become a habit of his. He touched his forehead to mine, and put his hand on the side of my face. "I care about you. More than you know, Z. More than you know." He whispered.

He leaned forward, and kissed my forehead, and the side of my face. He came closer, and stopped in front of my lips. My breathing came out harder. My heart is pounding. He pulled me closer to him, and hugged me. He didn't kiss me. My heart sank a little bit. The entire night has been amazing. Though, I kept wishing that instead of being with Clay, I was with Derek. He pulled away, and looked at me. I gazed at him, not wanting to move. He kissed the corner of my mouth. He broke away. He turned to leave. He looked back at me, and left my room.

**Author's Note: Hope you enjoyed this chapter!!! Please review and let me know what your thoughts are. Whether you: love it, hate it, or are just indifferent, I will not hold it against you, as long as you REVIEW! ( ^_^) REVIEW YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!!! **

**~Anneryn**


	5. Author's Note

**Author's Note:**

**Hello all!!! I am SO unbelievably, dreadfully sorry!!! I'm working on an actual chapter 5, right now. Everything has been so hectic. Scheduled updates have become impossible. I am to still trying to update every other week. I wish that I could promise more, but I really can't. It's been one crazy thing to another. I've had SO much drama going on. (I despise drama, I mean who doesn't??) I thought that you all deserved an explanation that's long overdue. I love writing and getting my ideas out there. I will try to update as frequently as I can.**

**I'm a senior in high school. I'm in my last quarter, and I have work and other factors floating around. I know, excuses, excuses. 17 year olds can be superheroes too, right? LOL I just need more time in the day. Anywho, thank you all for hopefully understanding!!**

**I wish you all: rainbows, happy thoughts, dreams of Derek and Clay, AND abundant hugs and junk!!!**

**~Anneryn**

P.S. – If any of you amazing readers likes (the show) Vampire Diaries, I have some fics that you are more than welcome to check out.


	6. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: I am SO incredibly sorry for the wait. I hope you think it is worth it. Life in general has been utter craziness. I just wrapped up one of my on-going fanfics (dorky happy dance). Any who… here's the story!**

**I DO NOT OWN LIFE WITH DEREK OR THE CHARACTERS (Except for Clay and Destiny. They are mine. ^_^)**

Chapter 5:

I haven't been sleeping. My dreams are too vivid. They are always about Derek. Something happens between us, and then everything gets strange. Last night, I dreamt that he fell asleep in my room. As he started to wake up, his eyes changed. They grew black, and he started to whisper things in an accent language. A second later, he was fine. He was back to normal.

He brought his lips to mine. It started out as an innocent kiss. Our tongues ended up in a frenzy. He rolled on top of me. His hands caressed my sides. His fingers played with the hem of the bottom of my shirt. His hands slid up my abdomen slowly. He played with my navel ring. His fingers crept upward, and brushed my rib cage. He ran his fingers over the front of my bra. I gasped into his mouth. I tried to push him away. We were going too fast. I wasn't ready for it.

He easily pinned both of my arms above me, with one of his hands. He pushed my shirt up, further. I squirmed under him. He wasn't stopping. I didn't want this. Not this far, at least. He unbuckled his belt, and unbuttoned his jeans.

"Stop," I told him, as he messed with his pants. He gave me a dark smile.

"You want this, Z. You love me." He said. He lowered himself on top of me, once more. A tear trickled down my face. "Let me show you, that I love you." He whispered against my neck. He pulled my basketball shorts down.

He turned my head, and brought his lips crashing down on mine. I cringed. I writhed underneath of him, and tried to worm away from him. I can't get away he's too strong. He started to pull my panties down.

Knocking on my bedroom door brought me out of my nightmare. I sat up and clenched my blankets to my chest. My heart racing and my breathing is coming out in hard pants. My door opened. The subject of all of my dreams walked in. Derek looked at me. He shut and locked my door, and sat down on the foot of my bed.

"I need to talk to you, Z." He said. I looked at him, still not completely awake. I nodded, groggily.

"I'm sorry. I never should have blown up at you that night." He said. He looked at me intently. I ran a hand through my hair, trying to cool myself down. I took a deep breath, and looked at him.

"Okay," I told him. He looked at me, exasperated.

"That's it? That's all you're going to say? 'Okay.'" He asked. I nodded. He looks pissed.

"What do you want me to say, Derek?" I demanded. He sighed. He got off of my bed, and flipped on my stereo, so we won't be overheard.

"I want you to tell me what's going on in that pretty little head of yours! Tell me what you're feeling Z, because there is no way in hell that you are okay with things. We've barely said anything to each other in three days." Derek exclaimed. He sat down on my bed, this time closer to me.

"Fine. You want to do this now? Fine!" I told him, irritated.

"Yeah, I want to do this now, Z." Derek said, quieter than before. I nodded.

"I think you were out of line. I don't tell you who you can or cannot date. And I don't tell you what you can do with said dates. I was just kissing Clay." I told him, letting out the anger than I've been holding in. He looked at me with livid eyes.

"I was out of line because I had a problem with some guy groping you in the living room?" He asked.

"He wasn't groping me. How many times have you brought girls home? How many times have you 'groped' them in the living room, where everyone can see?" I asked him. He's fuming.

"You were letting him put his hands all over you." He growled.

"It's nice to know that you think so little of me." I told him. He glared at me.

"He was trying to get the gold for Tonsil Hockey." Derek spat. I lost it. The look on his face made me lose it. I burst out laughing. I was shaking. I couldn't stop. I was doubled over, on my bed, just laughing. I'm not sure whether it was the look on his face, his choice of words, or the fact that it's like two in the morning, and I'm beyond tired.

It didn't take long until he started laughing with me. After a few minutes we calmed down. I looked at him smiling. Laughing can be such helpful therapy. I don't feel as frustrated towards him. Despite our lighter, happier moods, we need to talk about this. I need to know why he's acting like this. I don't think that he's going to tell me.

Derek leaned towards me, and gently brushed a lock of hair out of my face, and tucked it behind my ear. He didn't move back; he moved closer. I can feel his breath against my face.

"Why are so angry, Derek? You're not like this with Casey." I asked him. I saw something flash across his eyes. He touched the side of my face, tentatively.

"You're so much different from Casey. It's not the same." He whispered. I'm so beyond confused.

"How am I different? You're not making sense Derek." I told him. He sighed.

"Are you sure about that, Z? I hate this." He told me.

"What, Derek? What do you hate?" I asked him. He looked at me, as if willing me to see what he's trying to say. He started to say something, but stopped himself.

"Can I sleep here, tonight?" He asked. I nodded.

"Sure." I told him. He nodded. He got up, and unlocked the door. He turned off my stereo. I scooted over and made room for him. He picked me up, and lay down, holding me to him. I'm not sure if I should say anything. I'm not sure what he needs. Maybe he just needs peace.

I only hope that I don't get anymore nightmares tonight. I'm not sure how I would handle waking up to Derek… since he's the main factor in all of them.

We laid there: silent, but not sleeping. My eyelids are getting heavier and heavier, but I know that I won't be able to go to sleep anytime soon. I sighed, and decided to try and change positions. I can never seem to fall asleep on my back. The weird part is I always fall asleep on my stomach on side, but I almost always wake up on my back. I don't pretend to understand myself.

I gently moved Derek's arms from holding my body to his. He looked at me questioningly. I didn't say anything, I just switched positions. I need some sleep tonight. If I stay like this, I know that I won't get any. I laid face down on a pillow next to Derek. I moved again, slightly. I turned my head, so I was facing him, but I was still lying on my stomach.

He shifted his position, and lay on his side. He watched me. It isn't an uncomfortable gaze; it just makes me self-conscious. I turned my head, and faced the wall, in an effort to void looking at Derek. I won't be able to shut my mind off, if I try to fall asleep looking at him. God knows I want to. He's exactly what I want. Having him here… just makes it that much harder.

"Z, you awake?" He asked. Stupid question, of course I'm awake. He just saw me look into his eyes, before trying to get comfortable. I may be skilled in some things, but falling asleep at a snap of my fingers is not one of them. He knows this.

"Yeah," I told him. I can just picture him nodding.

"You've been having trouble sleeping lately. Is that what's keeping you up now?" He asked. I didn't know that had noticed that I haven't really been sleeping. Don't get me wrong, I treasure sleep. I am a teenager after all. I just… don't walk around explaining to everyone I see that I have sleeping problems.

"I just can't seem to get comfortable." I told him. Everything about what I said is true. I just left out a few key things. Like: maybe I can't fall asleep because my gorgeous stepbrother felt the need to crash in my room tonight. Or change the fact that having him lie next to me, is making it difficult to concentrate on anything else.

"You need to relax, Z." He whispered. I sighed.

"Yeah, I'll get right on that thanks." I told him sarcastically. Did he not realize that he's the one that woke me up in the first place? Granted, he woke me from a terrible dream… He can be so daft….

"That's not what I mean." He whispered. I can feel him lean over me. He's straddling my legs, but not trappingly so.

"What are you doing?" I asked him.

"Trying to loosen you up," he replied simply. My heart raced. Why can't he just stop? Doesn't he know what he does to me? He hands gently kneaded my shoulders, working out all of the stress filled kinks. When I didn't object, he kept going. His hands are amazing. I moaned, quietly. I can hear him smile.

"Tell me if it starts to hurt." He said. I nodded into my pillow. I felt him lean closer to me, to get a better grip on my neck and shoulders. Soon I was in my own heaven. My eyes were closed… and I was picturing him using his hands in an entirely different way. He has hands like a sculptor. Is he was a sculptor; even the Statue of Liberty would be on her knees in front of him. He has hands like a god.

He moved to my shoulder blades. I groaned, as I felt tension leave my body. He had one hand massaging my shoulder blade and moved the other to my lower back. I shuddered involuntarily. If he keeps this up, I'm going to have to bite my tongue just to refrain from moaning his name.

"Careful Z," Derek cautioned in a low voice.

"What?" I asked in a whisper.

"If you keep this up… I'll know how you sound in bed." Derek joked, chuckling. I scoffed, and scowled into my pillow. I felt him shake with laughter. He never stopped massaging me though. I felt him lean forward, so his top half was flattened on top of me. I can feel his breath on my ear. I bit back a gasp.

"You know, if I'm annoying you, I could always stop." He whispered.

"No," I told him.

"You sure, because you don't seem to be enjoying this at all…" He argued. I sighed.

"Don't stop, Derek." I told him. I could have sworn I heard him groan. He went back to straddling my legs, and concentrated on kneading the knots out of my back.

"You know, I don't think you should let Clay do this to you." He said.

"Why?" I asked him, not really focusing on what he was saying. He's making it hard to concentrate on anything but his hands.

"He might get the wrong idea." He said, simply.

"What are you talking about?" I asked him. It's late… For whatever reason, his words are just not registering.

"Z, you sound like you're… how can I put this nicely? You sound like you're fucking someone." He said. I swear I can hear the smile in his voice.

"Maybe if you'd stop, I wouldn't." I growled. He kneaded harder, eliciting another moan from me. "Just because you have a dirty mind… doesn't mean that Clay does." I added.

"Z, no guy could hear you making those sounds and not think about that. And if you let Clay do this to you… he's not going to think about just 'kissing' you or 'holding' your hand." Derek countered. I growled into my pillow. I tried to sit up, but couldn't because of Derek. He didn't move.

"Are you trying to piss me off?" I asked him, caught in between being extremely agitated and unavoidably turned on. He chuckled.

"Is it working?" He asked.

"Yes," I told him.

"Good." He answered. I sighed. He got off of me, and sat beside me. Before I could protest, he turned me onto my back, and into the sitting position. He resumed massaging my shoulders. My head fell forward.

"I guess I'll just have to keep distressing you." He whispered. His mouth came too close to my ear. I wasn't complaining, but if his mouth had come any closer… I would have felt his tongue on my skin. I can't see things clearly when it comes to Derek. Am I seeing what's actually there, or what I want to see? That's one of the things that keep me up at night.

"And if I don't want you to?" I asked, trying to be difficult.

"You'll have to get over it." He whispered. One of his hands traveled down my side, and slid along my abdomen. I gasped.

"Derek… what are you doing?" I asked. He buried my face in the groove of my neck.

"Don't ask questions Z. Just… let me have tonight." He said. What can I say to that? I don't know what's going on inside of his head. I wish that I did.

"O-okay, but don't…" I struggled to say.

"I know your limits, Z. I won't touch them." He promised. He kissed my neck. Electric sparks inflamed by body. I gasped. The effect he has on my body is… ridiculous. He pulled away from me. I turned around to face him. I didn't do anything. I just looked at him. He pushed me back on my bed, softly. He took his place next to me, and held me.

This isn't different from anything that we've done before… not the holding part, anyways. He lay facing each other. He covered my face with feather-light kisses. I closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling. Is this a game to him? Or an experiment? I told him I wouldn't ask any questions. My questions will have to wait until later. He kissed the side of my face, traveling the length of my jaw line. He never kissed my mouth. He kissed my neck and….

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Derek's P.O.V.

I can't believe I'm actually doing this. I wasn't supposed to cave. I was supposed to be the strong one. Something about Z makes me… rethink everything I thought I knew. I'm not sure about anything anymore.

After seeing Clay's hands on her and his tongue in her mouth… something inside just…. Snapped. I couldn't take it anymore. I just needed her to stop seeing him, and realize that he needs to keep his fucking hands off of her. She wasn't his… She was never supposed to be his… She's supposed to be m…

I shook my head at the thought. How did things get so fucked up? I shouldn't be doing this. I know I shouldn't be doing this. But, even knowing that doesn't change the fact that lately… it's all I've wanted to do. She's grown up so much. She's never gotten under my skin like Casey has. But she's never really been a little sister like Smarti either…

I don't know when she got so damned beautiful either.

And truth be told, Clay might be a good guy. But when I think about another guy touching her… I lose it. It's not healthy. I just… I need tonight. I can go back to the way things normally are tomorrow. I just need… I have to have… tonight.

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Lizzie's P.O.V.

I just want to know what he's thinking. A blur of emotions keep flickering across his face. He stopped kissing me. Now, he's just lying there, studying me… at least, that's what it feels like. I crept closer to his face, he didn't move, just looked at me, trying to guess what I'm doing. I brought my lips to his temple. He exhaled sharply. I lay back down, and closed my eyes. I felt his arm go around me. I know that he needs tonight.

I drifted to sleep. After awhile being stuck in between dreaming and falling asleep, I felt something brush my lips. My eyes flicked open. I'm still facing Derek. I think I imagined it.

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Derek's P.O.V.

I thought she was asleep. I don't think she realized what I happened. I know that I could never do that while she was awake. She looks so peaceful, when she sleeps. When tonight's over she won't be mine anymore… I'll have to embrace the fact that she was never mine to begin with.

I watched her fall into a deep sleep. I stretched out next to her, trying to figure out what it is exactly that I'm feeling. I have no fucking clue. Nada.

I waited until I knew she wouldn't be woken up. I leaned over her, and pressed my lips to hers. I almost flinched when she kissed me back. I pulled away. Z started saying something. Nothing coherent. I forgot that she talked in her sleep.

"Don't do this… She's plastic… Parasite… hurting you… Not yourself… Tired….Bleeding faces… Fake smiles… Stop hurting me. …Don't know… She doesn't lo… you…" Z whispered. What's she dreaming about?

"Derek." She whispered. Her eyelids are twitching rapidly. She's probably looking around in her dream. She looks like she's panicking. I lay next to her and moved my arm around her middle. She settled down. I never remember Z having these many nightmares before.

Whatever she was dreaming about, the dream must have taken a change for the better. I gently pulled her closer to me, laying her head on my chest. Her unease halted almost immediately. She moved her arm around me, and held _**me**_closer to her. I fell asleep with her in my arms.

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Lizzie's P.O.V.

I felt sunlight creep under my eye lids. I opened my eyes slowly, squinting against the sunlight. I must have fallen asleep with my curtains open last night. I'm a lot warmer than I normally am. Is my pillow moving? I pushed against my bed, and tried to sit up. My hands didn't hit my bed. They collided with something solid and warm.

I finally registered what I was hitting: Derek. I looked at him, confused. I can never process anything in the morning. He looked at me sleepily.

"Z, go back to sleep." He said, half asleep. I looked at him trying to think.

"Last night…" I said trying to remember exactly what happened. I gave up, and just looked at him.

His arm around me tightened, bringing me closer to him. I was still lying to the side of him, with my chest touching the side of his. He peered down at me, and shifted slightly. I feel so groggy. I looked into his equally tired eyes. He moved so he was almost on top of me and stated at me for a second, I didn't break our gaze.

I can feel his breath against my face and inhale his scent. He pressed his lips to mine. His mouth muffled my moan. I couldn't think of anything else; my mind went blank. My entire body tingled, starting with my lips. His tongue ran along my bottom lip. I gasped. He slid in tongue inside my parted lips. I was lost in Derek. Kissing him brought something out in me.

Our tongues massaged each other. He kept his hand on my hip, gently stroking me. His other hand was on my face, keeping my face to his. I wouldn't have moved it, even if I had to. Who needs oxygen?... There was affection in this kiss… not just lust or wanting.

He pulled away slowly and it was over. I looked at him trying to control my breathing. The sound of him panting is music to my ears. My mind is still completely void. I'm not able to process anything. The things he does to me…

He moved to the side of me and lay down, bringing me to his side. We were in the exact position as before. I laid my head on his chest. His hand made small circles on my lower back. I can feel sleep taking over again. I know he can feel it too. His eyelids are drooping; they're getting heavier. He watched me, with a faint smile on his lips.

"Sleep, z. Just sleep." He whispered.

"Night, Derek." I whispered, already falling asleep. The fact that it was already morning wasn't affecting me in the slightest.

"Sweet dreams, Z." I heard Derek mumble as I drifted into a dreamless sleep.

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I woke up later to Marti jumping up and down on my bed. I can hear Derek telling her to stop in hushed tones. She ushered a quick apology, and something I didn't catch. She left and shut my bedroom door behind her. My consciousness didn't last long.

It feels like my body is trying to catch up on all of the sleep it's been deprived from. I feel so exhausted. I dozed off again.

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I woke up to someone saying my name quietly. I still don't feel completely awake or rested. I feel like I've slept a better part of the day away too. My eyes opened slowly and grudgingly. Mom was telling Derek that Destiny called and she was running late. I didn't know that he was still seeing her. He went out with someone else yesterday.

"I'll get ready soon, Nora." He told her yawning. Is he still tired too? My eyes shut involuntarily.

"Is Lizard feeling alright? She never sleeps this much." Mom said, sounding concerned. Derek took a deep breath. He's normally weirdly good at explaining things to her.

"I don't think she's been sleeping that well. I was still up last night, so I wanted to see if Z was still up. When I came in here, it looked like she was having a nightmare, so I woke her up. I must have dozed off after we talked." He told her. Strangely enough, everything he said is true.

"She's been having nightmares again?" Mom asked him, nervously.

"What do you mean again?" He asked, mirroring Mom's concern.

"She got nightmares throughout and after my divorce with her father. …" Mom told him, quietly.

No one knew about those nightmares… no one except for her. I never talked about them. I never said anything. I dealt with them on my own. I would try to clear my mind every night before I went to sleep and hope that they would come that night. I was always wrong.

I started to write about my nightmares. Gradually my writings turned into how I felt. It was a good release. Eventually, the nightmares left. Every time something big happens or something that really stresses me out, I get nightmares. I hate it.

"Oh, I didn't know." Derek said quietly.

"No one knew. I wasn't supposed to know. I brought her breakfast in bed one morning; she was trashing around in her bed and biting back screams. No matter how hard I tried, she wouldn't talk about them. After awhile, they stopped. I could tell that she had been sleeping again." She told Derek.

I don't think that she's ever shared this much with Casey or George… Why Derek?

"She never talked about them?" Derek pried.

"No… it scared me. I know most children get nightmares. But, her's weren't normal. If you couldn't see her face… she was terrified. I'll never forget that face. She tried to hide it. She always looked plagued by them. It killed me knowing that I couldn't do anything… I had to let her work them out herself." Mom said. She sounded like she was trying not to cry.

Derek laid me on the bed, next to him gently. I felt him get off of my bed. My eyes fluttered open. He's hugging mom. She's crying in his shoulder. I sat up. I ran a hand through my hair. My eyes refuse to stay open.

Mom mopped her face with the back of her hand. She gave Derek a squeeze and pulled away.

"Afternoon, Lizard." She said.

"Morning," I tried to whisper. It sounded jumbled and contorted. I'm not awake. They laughed. I grimaced. They are loud.

"I've got to take Marti to her play date." Mom announced. I nodded, letting her know I heard her.

"Bye Nora." Derek said in response.

"Bye, love you both." She said.

We told her we loved her in unison. I'm sure that she understood Derek better than she did me. He sat down on my bed next to me. He brushed hair out of my face. I feel like I'm going to fall over, and slip into a peaceful, sleep-filled coma.

"You never said anything about your nightmares." He said quietly.

"I never said anything to anyone." I told him.

"Z, you can talk to me." He said, trying to get something out of me.

"Let it go, Derek. Just let it go." I told him. He sighed, knowing I was going to say anything else.

"You can sleep, Z. I've got to get ready. I've got to pick Destiny up soon." He admitted. I nodded.

"Her laugh is so annoying." I whispered. He laughed.

"I know. But, she isn't so bad. And she's hot, so…" He said. If my eyes were open, I would have rolled them. Typical guy answer.

"Have fun on your date." I told him, masking the hurt in my voice. Memories of the things that happened last night and this morning started coming back to me. I'm beginning to think that I dreamt all of it.

"You can talk to me… if you ever need…" Derek said. I nodded.

"'Kay." I told him. He eased me into a laying position. I fell back into my never-ending slumber.

------------------------------------------------------------.------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I felt someone touch the side of my face. I opened my eyes, finally feeling mostly rested. I looked up, hoping to see Derek. I saw Clay, instead. When did he get here?

"Clay?" I asked, clearly confused. He smiled down at me.

"You look so peaceful when you sleep." He said. I gave him another confused look.

"I came by to see if you wanted to hang out for a bit. I've got to work around 11 tonight, but I wanted to see you." He explained. It was all I could do to nod.

"You're so beautiful when you wake up." He said. He kissed my mouth, gently.

"I need a minute, before I'm awake." I told him, yawning. I closed my eyes, and tried to wake myself up faster. I didn't realize that he was sitting on my bed with me. Wait… what am I wearing? I glanced down. I have a black wife beater on, and a dark blue pair of Derek's basketball shorts. I let out a small sigh of relief. Sometimes in the summer, I sleep in a sports bra and shorts… can you say "awkward"? I can.

He just sat and watched me, as I woke up. He put an arm around me. The body heat made me tired all over again. I leaned my head on his shoulder. I closed my eyes. He kissed my forehead.

"If you want to sleep… I can just stay here with you." He offered. I shook my head.

"No, I should get up." I told him, yawning again.

"You sure? Because, this is comfortable." He said, wrapping his other arm around me.

"I should, and you're not making this easier." I told him, pointedly. He chuckled, but moved his arms. I crawled over him, awkwardly, and climbed off of my bed. I ran a hand through my hair, thinking that it might somehow help me not feel as tired.

"I need to change." I told him. He nodded. He gave me a sly grin. What is he thinking about?

"I'll wait outside." He said. I nodded. I walked behind him, to shut the door after him. I flipped the lock, and grabbed some clothes, not really paying attention to what I was getting. I tossed off the clothes that I had slept in. I sighed. I really want a shower, but I can't ask him to wait. I'll just take one tonight, after he leaves.

I pulled on a clean pair of panties, and a matching bra. I looked at the clothes that I had grabbed. A short pair of light, khaki shorts. I put them on, and looked at the shirt I grabbed. It's one of my nicer camisoles. I put it one and looked at my reflection. It's navy blue. The neckline it's too low. It shows a hint of cleavage. It's normally something I wouldn't wear. But, I'm too tired to change.

I grabbed my toiletries and headed to the bathroom. I opened the door and nearly tripped over Clay. He was sitting on the floor next to my door. He stood up, and looked at me in surprise.

"That was fast." He said, sounding amazed.

"It normally doesn't take me long to get dressed." I told him. Why should it? Granted, it takes longer when I shower. He nodded.

"Most girls take forever." He commented. I shrugged.

"Guess I'm not like most girls." I said. He smirked.

"No, I guess not." He said, still smirking. I motioned down the hallway.

"I need to go the bathroom." I told him.

"Oh, sorry." He moved out of my way, looking slightly embarrassed. I gave him a slight smile, before heading to the bathroom. I turned the light on and stepped inside. I shut and locked the door behind me. I realized that I had to pee. I used the bathroom, and washed my hands. I lathered my baby lotion on, and put on deodorant. I brushed my teeth and decided to tackle my hair. Surprisingly enough, it doesn't look messy. But, I'm not going to go all day without brushing it.

I turned on the tub faucet. I waited for the water to get warm. I knelt on the floor, next to the tub, and held my head under. I washed my hair. After all of the conditioner was washed away, I towel dried my hair. I don't want it to drip. I ran a brush through my hair, and massaged leave-in conditioner through my hair. I caved and used a blow dryer. It's still a bit damp, but most of it is dry. I hung my towel up, and put my toiletry bag on my shelf. I spritzed a bit of body spray and left the bathroom.

Clay was still waiting for me. He smiled when he saw me coming.

"You look great." He complimented. I smiled.

"Thanks, I'll try putting actual clothes on more often." I said, without thinking about my words. He gave me an odd look.

"That didn't sound as dirty in my head." I told him, quietly. He chuckled.

"You hungry?" He asked me. I nodded.

"Come on, I'll make you some food." He said, taking my hand, and leading me downstairs. I laughed.

"You're cooking for me? In my house?" I asked him. He nodded. I shrugged.

"Whatever boats your float." I told him. He laughed. I smiled at him. I yawned. He stopped walking and picked me up. He carried me into the kitchen, bridal style.

"I'm tired, not handicapped." I told him. He laughed. He paused at the counter. He didn't put me down. I caught a glimpse of the time on our microwave. It's hanging over our stove. It's 7:15. I really did sleep most of the day away.

"Are you going to put me down?" I asked him. He looked into my eyes, but didn't say anything for a minute.

"If I put you down, I can't do this." He said, seriously.

"Do what?" I asked, stupidly. He closed the gap between us with his lips. I kissed him back. I'm not sure what I feel about Clay. I know what I feel for Derek. I don't know what this is. We aren't… I don't know what we are….

He deepened the kiss. His tongue invaded my mouth. I gasped into his mouth. I pulled away. He gazed at me.

"Put me down." I breathed. He nodded, and set me down. I moved against the counter. I can still taste him inside of my mouth. He gave me a quick kiss. He looked into my eyes, searching for something.

"If we're going too fast, just tell me to stop…. I'm not trying to…" He said. I nodded. We are a "we" now?

"'Kay." I told him. He walked around to the other side of the kitchen and opened the pantry. I pulled myself up onto the counter and watched him. He settled on something and pulled it out of the pantry. I finally saw what he had chosen: macaroni and cheese. I smiled. He pulled a pot out of a bottom cabinet near the oven. He filled it with water and set it on the stovetop. He turned on the burner and turned his attention back to me.

"My gourmet cooking." He commented. I laughed. He smiled.

"I can throw some hotdogs on the grill, if you want." He said. I nodded.

"How did you know we have hotdogs?" I asked him. He smirked.

"I came over when your mom was putting the groceries away." He answered. I nodded.

"Want any help?" I offered. He shook his head.

"No, I'm cooking for you." He said, determined. I nodded. What more could a normal girl ask for? A gorgeous guy who's respectful, sweet, great kisser, and he's willing to cook. …I could ask for more. I could ask for… Derek.

He got the hotdogs out of the fridge and went outside and started grilling. He came back inside and went back and forth between the pasta and the hotdogs. He forbade me from even touching anything. When it was finished, we ate together. A couple of hours flew by. We never even left the kitchen. We stayed and talked. I had eaten on the counter and he sat next to me.

He insisted on doing to the dishes, despite my protests. After the dishes he leaned against the island, and talked with me from there. We talked about music and soccer: mostly music.

Gradually he came closer and closer to me, until he was standing in front of me, and in between my legs. He touched the side of my face, and came closer. He kissed me. I kissed him back. This kiss wasn't tame by any means, but he wasn't trying to suck my lungs out through my mouth.

I heard the front door open. I pulled back, but Clay had other ideas. He pulled me into another kiss. I heard female chuckling behind him.

"How cute! I didn't know she was your sister! It's weird seeing Clay outside of work though, I mean, we've been to some of the same parties, but he's not a partier like I am. He's a total kill joy… but he looks like he's getting cozy with your sister…." Destiny's whiny voice said.

"What?" Derek growled in irritation. I already ended the kiss with Clay. Call me crazy, but I really don't want an audience if I'm "sucking face" with someone. He was still standing close to me. He touched his forehead to mine. He gave me a few small kisses.

Derek walked into the kitchen.

"Can't you take that somewhere else?" Derek growled. We both looked at Derek in surprise. I know he doesn't want to see our PDA, but he shouldn't be this peeved.

"Take what somewhere else?" Clay asked him. Derek glared at him.

"You know what I'm talking about." He almost _snarled_.

"Relax Derek; we're not doing anything." I told him. It's true; we aren't. We stopped kissing after Destiny came in and he can't get annoyed with a few chaste kisses. Can he?

"Anything except for slutting around." He argued with a growl.

"Don't you dare." I told him. He gave me a malicious smirk. Clay took a step away from me and towards Derek.

"That was out of line. You're her brother; you should know that she doesn't 'slut' around." Clay said, his eyes growing darker with anger. I slid off of the counter and grabbed Clay's arm gently. I pulled him away from Derek. Truthfully, I'm surprised he let me. If they had been angry enough, I know I wouldn't have been able to separate them. They are both a lot bigger than I am.

I don't want them to get into a fight. I glared at Derek and walked outside of the house with Clay. I can't be in the same house as him right now. Not after he just said.

"Z!" I heard Derek yell after me.

"Don't talk to me, Derek." I said back. I didn't yell it, but I know that he heard me.

"Make sure you don't catch anything… while you're slutting around." He called. He shut the door behind us. Clay moved to go back inside, but I stopped him.

"Don't," I told him, sounding defeated. He looked at me. He touched my face.

"You're just going to let him talk to you like that?" He asked quietly. I looked up at him. I took a deep breath before I answered him.

"Just let it go, Clay." I said irritated, more at Derek than at Clay.

"He shouldn't have talked to you like that." Clay said, angrily.

"He's never said anything like that to me, before." I told him.

"Don't defend him. It still doesn't give him the right to…" He argued.

"I'm not defending him! I know that he's acting like an ass! I'm just asking you to stay out of it! I can take care of myself. I don't need you to fight my battles for me. I'll handle it, later." I told him, exasperated. He didn't say anything for a minute.

"Maybe you should just go. You need to be at work soon, anyways." I told him quietly. He looked a little hurt by my words.

"Will you be okay here?" He asked. I nodded.

"Ed will be here soon." I told him. He gave me a reluctant nod. He kissed my forehead and my lips. He left. I sat down on the walkway that led to the door on the side of the house.

---------------------------------.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Clay's P.O.V.

I can't believe he would say something like that to her. From everything I've seen she's never done anything remotely hurtful to Derek. For him to say something like that… I shook my head. She looked crushed by his words. She hid it immediately after it flashed across her face.

I doubled back after a few minutes. I kept my distance, so she couldn't see me. The fact that it's dark outside helps. She looked around; making sure no one was around. She raked her fingers through her hair and let her head hang forward. Her body shook. I couldn't tell if it was from the slight breeze outside… or something else. She looked up at the stars. I can see the tears glisten on her face.

She just sat and cried. She doesn't strike me as the crying type. I don't think that she would ever cry in front of anyone. She hugged herself and let the tears drop. The lid of a trashcan clanked to the ground. She jumped and mopped away her tears. She covered up her hurt and just sat there, praying to the sky.

I walked away. I hate that I can't do anything. She doesn't want me to see her like this. I don't even know what she is to me. She isn't my girlfriend… we've only been on one date. She isn't just my friend… I care for her too much. I got into my car, quietly, and drove, thinking about everything.

-----------------------------------------------------------.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Derek's P.O.V.

I kissed Destiny. We went back to my room, earlier. I was tired of hearing her talk. I pulled her shirt off and started sucking on her neck. I don't mind the little moans she gives off. She helped me pull my shirt off and I threw it to the floor. I put my hand under her skirt to try and pull off her panties, but found she wasn't wearing any.

I know that Liz wasn't slutting around. I know that if anyone in this house is a whore, it's Destiny. I can't stand seeing her with him. I unbuttoned my jeans and shrugged them down a bit. Destiny's nails raked my back. I hurriedly put on a condom and thrust inside of her. She started moaning my name. I tuned her out and started thrusting harder and faster. I pictured Z. I wanted it to be Z. If this were Z, it would not be rough. I wouldn't want to make her hurt.

Honestly, I don't care if this hurts Destiny. I need someone else to hurt.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------.----------------------------------------------------------

Lizzie's P.O.V.

A few more tears fell from my eyes. I calmed myself down, earlier. Everything's building back up.

I know that Clay was just trying to help… I don't know what set Derek off. Honestly, I'm not so sure that it matters. I know that I'm not perfect by any means, but I don't think I deserved that.

I heard a car door slam and I looked up. Edwin came walking towards me.

"Hey Liz." He greeted.

"Hey," I answered. I noted how raspy my voice is.

"What are you doing out here?" He asked curiously. I looked over at him. His brow furrowed and he sat down next to me. He put an arm around me.

"Have you been crying Liz? You're eyes are red and puffy." He told me, quietly.

"I'm fine, Ed." I told him.

"Liz, there's something you're not telling me." He insisted.

"I'm going to go to bed, Edwin." I told him. I stood up. He stood up and followed me inside. "Night, Ed." I told him. I gave him a hug. He kissed my cheek. We walked over to the stairs. Destiny came walking down the stairs, fixing her skirt. She smiled at me and Ed happily.

I nodded.

"You're so pretty, you know? I know what Clay sees in you." She said, equally happy. Call me crazy, but I don't know how people can be that blissfully happy all of the time…

"Thanks, you too, Destiny." I told her. She smiled and left. Edwin followed me upstairs. I walked over to the bathroom to shower and Ed went to his room. My shower ended too soon. It didn't help me clear my head, or ease my thoughts. I sighed. I dried myself off and put on some lotion, so my skin wouldn't dry out. I left my hair wet. I put on my clothes from before. I didn't grab pajamas from my room before heading to the bathroom.

I left the bathroom and walked into Derek. Surprisingly, he put his arms out to steady me. His moods change faster a bipolar person on crack. He chuckled. His hair is messy and he reeks of sex. I backed away from him and stayed out of his reach. I don't need any favors from him. Something crashed. I heard Edwin fall in his room. Derek turned and looked to see if he could see anything. I say the scratch marks on his back. He turned his attention back to me.

"Well, if it isn't the McDonald whore." He said.

"What the fuck is your problem Derek?" I demanded. He still looks amused.

"What's wrong? Did Clay go down on you the wrong way? Or can you not handle it rough?" He antagonized. I crossed my arms across my chest.

"Did he not do it right? Maybe you should let him know what you like. How else can you expect him to please a whore?" He said, his voice dripping with amusement and venom. I slapped him. Edwin came out of his room. He must have heard it. He looked from me to Derek. His cheek is red. He looks pissed.

"Oh, so the whore gets defensive. Is that what it takes?" He taunted. I tried to walk away from him, but he blocked me. I ducked under his arm, but he grabbed my waist and pulled me back. He backed me up against the wall.

"The only whore here is you." I growled. The smirk slid off of his face.

"Says the whore," he egged on. I glared at him. I pushed him away from me. Ed just watched. He looks confused. "Did I hurt the slut's feelings?" Derek asked me.

"Go fuck yourself, Derek." I told him. I went into my room. I lay down and listened to Edwin interrogate Derek.

**Author's Note: I'm SO incredibly sorry it's taken this long to get a new chapter out. It's the longest so far, to make up for my overdue update. Thank you all for being so patient! I've got a lot of fics going on, and a few that I'm going to be posting soon. I can't promise set updates. Hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**-Hugs and junk!-**

** ~Anneryn**


	7. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: Hey all! I am SO incredibly sorry it's taken me this long to get a new chapter out! I hope that it was worth the wait. I seriously am trying to get a new chapter out every two weeks. I'm determined! *Side note, I do go on vacation in about two weeks, but I'll try and have a new chapter out before that.* **

**Another side note, all of Lizzie's poetry, I wrote. I didn't take the poetry from another source. I was bouncing ideas off of a good friend of mine, and she agreed that it would be best if all of her poetry was original. *Oh, and the poetry is both bolded and italicized.***

**~Anneryn**

**I DO NOT OWN LIFE WITH DEREK OR THE CHARACERS (Though, I don't know why they don't let me…)**

**Music Credit: Savior – Rise Against, Tear You Apart – She Wants Revenge, Diary of Jane – Breaking Benjamin**

Chapter Six:

Lizzie's P.O.V.

I heard the unmistakable sound of a fist hitting flesh. I heard pounding on the staircase. I jumped off of my bed and ran out into the hallway.

-.-

Edwin's P.O.V.

I don't know why Derek would say something like that to Liz, to Liz of all people. He's never had a problem with her before… much less talked to her, or treated her like that. She didn't deserve it. Something about the way he said it… or maybe it was what he said… made something in my snap. I pushed him up against the wall that he had Liz pushed against.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? You talk down to her now?" I demanded. His eyes are livid and dancing with fury. It just pissed me off more.

"She deserved it." Derek growled. His eyes grew narrower.

"No, she didn't. And you _**know**_ that she didn't." I countered.

"Then maybe, she should be slutting around." Derek said, defiantly. I lost it. I lost control. I hit him in the jaw. My hitting him seemed to pull him out of whatever alternate reality he was in. He pushed me backward and hit me in the stomach. I advanced toward him and started swinging. I could feel him hitting me back, but it didn't register. I just had to do something to get rid of this rage that he pulled out of me.

-.-

Casey's P.O.V.

I sighed to myself as I unlocked the front door. I let myself inside, and shut and locked it behind me. I heard someone being hit.

"What the hell?" I muttered to myself. I dropped my purse and keys on the floor and tore upstairs.

-.-

Derek's P.O.V.

He's right. He's right, about everything. Z didn't deserve a single fucking thing I said to her. I needed to tear her down, because I feel ten times worse seeing her with him, than I made her feel. I need to feel the pain that Ed's hitting me is bringing. I need to have something that I'm in control of. I can't take this anymore. I can't control myself.

-.-

Lizzie's P.O.V.

I ran out into the hallway just in time to see Casey running up the stairs. My attention only flickered over to her for a moment. My gaze immediately flew to Derek and Edwin rolling on the floor pummeling each other. I ran over to them and started pulled at Edwin. He was closest to me.

They shifted positions so I got an arm around Derek's middle and started pulling. Casey got a good hold on Edwin and pulled. I really hope that they aren't completely set on fighting, because honestly, I don't know how effective Casey and I are going to be at breaking them up. Both Ed and Derek are both taller, stronger, and bigger than we are. If Mom and George get home and they are still fighting, we are all, all kinds of fucked.

Derek untangled himself from Edwin; Edwin allowed Casey to pull him back. Derek let me pull him to his feet. He spun and turned around suddenly. He picked me up, got me out of the way and glared at both Casey and Edwin. Edwin, who was also now standing, broke away from Casey and they charged each other.

"Motherfucker," I growled. I wormed my way in between Edwin and Derek. They stopped throwing punches but didn't look like they were going to back down anytime soon.

"Get out of the way, Z." Derek growled.

"No, this is ridiculous. This is between you and me. Ed has nothing to do with this." I protested. I felt Edwin tense up behind me.

"You can't seriously think that this has nothing to do with me! With the way he talked to you!" Edwin yelled, angrily. Like I really need a reminder of what Derek said to me.

"Yeah, Z, looks like the boy wants to dance. You should let him. After all, why should you care? You've been busy with other things." Derek taunted both of us.

I almost said, "Fuck it. You can tear him apart for all I care." But, I couldn't do it.

"This is ending now. Anything you have to say to me, you can say it later. Leave Ed alone, Derek." I told him. Derek gave me a slightly demented smile. He took a small step closer to me, so I was pressed against his chest. He leaned down; I can feel his breath against my ear.

"Are you a feisty little whore?" He asked, his voice barely a whisper. I repressed a shudder. His voice still does things to my body… I gripped his waist with my hand. I let my fingernails dig into his side. He winced and looked at me with fiery eyes.

"Don't _**ever **_talk to me like that again." I hissed at him. He looked at me surprised. "I'm done being talked down to." I told him. I felt Edwin move away from me. Casey led him into her room.

A smirk played on Derek's lips. He almost looks himself again. His eyes flickered over my body. I shifted uncomfortably. I went to move my hand from his waist, but his hand covered mine, and kept it there.

"Do you know how amazing you look, when you get all hot and bothered?" Derek asked me, in a hushed whisper. I didn't say anything, but pulled at my hand, again. His grip on my hand tightened. He pulled me closer to him, but I stood my ground. I ran my free hand through my hair. I shook my head.

"You… are _**such**_ an asshole. Do you know that? Let go of me." I demanded. He looked taken aback, but still didn't let go of my hand. I don't know how he manages to do it. He makes me feel so many things at once. It feels like I'm running on overload. Even if things did magically work out with Derek… I couldn't be with someone who treats me like shit all of the time.

Derek sighed and brought my attention back to him.

"I know, and you're the only person that makes me regret it." He said. He didn't apologize… but those words… well, they were almost, halfway close.

"Then don't be." I said. I yanked my hand from his grip.

"Z!" He yelled after me as I started walking downstairs. I don't want to be near him right now. "I need…" He started. I turned around. "I need to talk to you. Just let me…" He said, walking over to me, trying to grab my hand, to hold it, like before.

"No, Derek. I'm just a _whore_, remember? I don't want to give you herpes." I growled. I went downstairs and slid on some shoes. I unlocked the door, and grabbed my keys and my cell phone. I opened the door and shut it behind me. I can still hear Derek calling after me. I sighed and blinked back tears. This is too much right now. I walked next door and knocked on Emily's door. Please be home, please be home.

The porch light came on and Emily opened the door. She smiled in surprise.

"Hey, Liz, what brings you here?" She asked. My look must have tipped her off. "Hey, are you okay?" She asked. I gave her small smile.

"No, not really. Derek has been such an ass lately, and I… I just can't stay there tonight. Is it okay if I crash here?" I asked her. She nodded.

"Yeah, of course. Come on in." She said. I felt so bad; I know that it's late. "I feel like I haven't seen you in forever." She said. I nodded.

"I know, with you and Casey in college, now." I agreed. She smiled and nodded.

"My parents are out of town until next week, so it's just me. …We can catch up tonight." She said. She gave my hand a quick squeeze. I nodded, feebly.

"Thanks, Em." I told her. She nodded.

"Anytime, you know that." She assured me. We were up most of the night, just talking. We talked about just, life in general. I didn't tell her about being head over heels about Derek, but I did about pretty much everything else. I called Casey and told her where I was. She wasn't surprised.

We ended up going to sleep around 7 in the morning. I woke up around 3 in the afternoon to pounding on Emily's front door. I walked sleepily out into the hallway and down the stairs. I ran into Emily, who was yawning and sipping coffee. She gestured to a steaming cup on the table. I nodded in thanks and made a beeline for the coffee. I drank some and carried it with me, and went with Emily to the front door.

Emily waited until I was next to her until she opened the door. I mean, sure, it's 3 in the afternoon… But, both of us just woke up. I wouldn't want to answer the door alone, either. I stifled a yawn. She shot me a sleepy grin and set her coffee down on the small table near the front door.

She put her arm on my shoulders, and pulled me into a hug. I held my coffee mug still as I yawned into her shoulder. I feel rested, but tired. My brain definitely needed a break. She pulled the door open and we both looked to see who it was. The door opened to reveal a very annoyed looking Derek. I didn't say anything. Well, I wasn't expecting this. Emily was the first to say anything.

"Hey, Derek," Emily said, semi-brightly. He nodded.

"Hey, Em," he replied, looking at me. I drank my coffee to avoid looking directly at him. Emily cleared her throat.

"Do you, um, want to come inside and have some coffee?" She asked. He nodded.

"Sure, thanks." He said. He didn't move, neither did we.

"Fair warning, though, if you pull anything ass-like, you have to leave." She warned. God love her; you've got to give Emily her props. That woman is fearless. Derek gave her a slow, surprised smile.

"Fair enough," he responded. Emily led me into the kitchen. I sat on a barstool at her kitchen island. I continued to drink my coffee. She gave me a refill. Derek sat on the stool next to me. He looked at me, intently.

Emily gave me a look, asking me if I was okay with this. I gave her a slight nod. Although, I haven't told Emily everything, especially how I feel towards Derek… I think she knows something's up.

"Can I talk to you?" Derek asked me. I didn't do or say anything. Emily gave my shoulder a quick squeeze.

"I'll let you guys talk. I'll be upstairs. Get me when you're done… or yell… if you need me." She told me. I nodded. She gave Derek a warning look. He waited until he was sure that Emily was upstairs, in her room, with the door closed, until he started talking.

"I didn't mean for last night to happen." He told me. I looked at him.

"See, I don't believe that. I think that you were waiting for a reason to make last night happen." I told him. He visibly recoiled. He looked at me intensely, searching my eyes. "Stop lying to me, Derek." I told him.

"Z, I _**didn't**_ want that to happen." He insisted. I looked at him, brow furrowed, in disbelief.

"You meant what you said, Derek." I told him. He looked hurt.

"If I could take them back, you know that I would." He said.

"Do I?" I asked him. He reached for my hand, but I slid it back.

"Z, you're so far from slutty, you make nuns look like prostitutes." Derek joked. I looked at him. He can't fix this by joking. He seemed to realize the same thing. "I'm serious Liz; I know that you aren't like that. You're so far from being a slut. I've never thought of you that way… I never could." Derek said, softly.

I looked at him, torn. I want to believe. God, I want to believe him. But, it's so easy for him to hurt me.

"Okay," I told him. He looked at me, expecting me to say more. But, I really can't. Not now, at least… not without falling apart. I need to stay together. If I start to crumble now… no good will come of it.

"That's all you're going to say?" He asked me, quietly. I looked at him, trying to shield all emotions from displaying themselves on my face.

"Derek, right now… that's all I _**can**_ say." I told him. He nodded. I finished my coffee and slid off of the barstool. I went upstairs and told Emily I was leaving. …One look on her face… one look, and I knew. She knows. She also knows that nothing can ever happen… not unless something changes.

I grabbed my clothes and promised to wash Emily's and bring them back to her later. She told me not to rush. I grabbed my phone and my purse and headed next door, back to my house. Derek said something that I couldn't hear to Emily. She responded just as inaudibly. I heard him follow behind me. I control my wandering thoughts.

What if I was able to let go? To just accept that nothing between us will ever happen? What if I can let go, and… he can't? What if he won't let me? Everything feels like it's spiraling out of control. I don't have another reason for his behavior. I know that it's ludicrous and jumping to conclusions… but what else could explain why he is so damned possessive over me?

I stumbled on my way over to the side door. I wasn't looking where I was walking and my foot hit some rocks the wrong way. I started to fall forward and my clothes fell from my arms.

"Z!" Derek called from behind me. His arms wrapped around my waist before I fell to the ground completely. My knees hit the gravel that makes the path to the side door. I winced as he started to pull me to my feet. Once I was standing, he didn't move. I can feel his breath on my neck. My body tingled as waves of pain washed over my legs. I closed my eyes and tried to ignore the feelings.

"Thanks Derek, I'm fine." I told him. I pulled at his arms. He moved one of his arms, but kept one securely wrapped around my waist. He stooped down and collected my things; he supported me as I walked inside. I knew that pushing him away would be a waste of time. Once he gets his mind set on something…

I unlocked the door and Derek stood closely, behind me. He moved his arm further around me waist. I don't understand how someone so affectionate could be so cold… He let go of me to drop my clothes in the laundry room. I kept walking upstairs.

"Elizabeth, slow down." He said. I paused and turned around. "You need to clean that up." He said, gesturing to my knees.

"I know; I'm going to." I told him.

"Let me help you." He offered.

"I'm fine Derek; it's not that bad." I assured him. He sighed, irritably. I went upstairs and headed to the bathroom. Not even a minute after I shut the bathroom door, someone knocked on the door. I opened the door. Derek came inside and put a first aid kit on the bathroom counter. I sighed and shut the door behind him.

"Sure Derek, come on in." I said, sarcastically. He smirked and looked at me expectantly. I was toweling off my legs when he knocked. I washed them off in the tub.

"I wanted to make sure you had everything you needed." He said, simply. I nodded. I walked past him and opened the first aid kit.

"Thank you," I told him. He nodded. I grabbed the rubbing alcohol out of the kit and poured some on some cotton swabs and started cleaning my knees. I winced; the alcohol burns. I threw the swabs away and got new ones. I poured rubbing alcohol on them and repeated the process. I didn't say anything else to him.

"If you need anything…" Derek said. I looked over at him and nodded. I took a deep breath.

"Space?... Time…" I told him. His jaw locked but he stood up.

"Not too long, though. I'm going to find you later. I need to…" He started to explain. I nodded.

"'Kay," I answered. He left the bathroom.

-.-

Derek's P.O.V.

I didn't want to give her time or space. I wanted to shake her until she finally understood. But… I'm not sure what I want her to understand. I know that I care for her. If I didn't… it wouldn't bother me… fuck that, it doesn't bother me. If makes me want to destroy something, every time I see her with _**him**_.

I don't know what I'm doing, or what I'm starting. I just need _**something**_ to happen. I don't want to share Z. I don't want anyone _**else**_ to have her. She's… I want her to be mine. But, in what way? I don't know why I expect her to understand what I'm feeling with perfect clarity, when I don't have a fucking clue.

I shut the bathroom door behind me, absentmindedly. My foot connected with something that made me start to lose my balance. I put my hand on the hallway wall to steady myself. I heard light snickering behind me, and turned around to find the source of the noise.

I saw Marti hurriedly picking up her toys, laughing to herself.

"What's so funny, Smarti?" I asked her. She didn't appear to have heard what I asked her. "Smarti?" I asked, again. She turned to look at me. She didn't say anything, but her smile faltered and she glared at me.

"Are you mad at me, Smarti?" I asked her. She nodded. "Why? What did I do, to upset the Great Princess Smarti?" I asked her, crouching down next to her. She sighed and looked like she was mentally preparing herself. Great… this isn't going to be good.

"You're a big, giant, jerkface." She announced. I was too shocked to actually say anything. Smarti never gets mad at me. "You were a butthead to Liza." Smarti concluded. I looked at her dumbstruck.

"Smarti, I didn't mean those things I said yesterday… I thought you were asleep." I told her. She shook her head.

"It wasn't just yesterday, Smerek. You've been so mean to her!" Marti practically yelled as she stomped her foot. "I was playing Spy Kids with Elvis and he heard you being mean to her." Marti explained. She stood in front me looking more pissed off than I had ever seen her, before.

"Not just yesterday?" I asked. She nodded.

"You're always mean to her, now. How are you supposed to get married and live happily ever after, if you're always mean?" Marti asked. Her voice dropped and her chin trembled. I reached out and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Smarti, why do you think that we are going to get married?" I asked her. She looked at me like I was a mental case dressing in drag that escaped from the local looney bin.

"Because you love each other," she answered simply. She stormed off to her room. I stayed in the hallway, frozen. After a minute, my brain started work again. I walked downstairs. The doorbell rang. Who is it and what do they want? I answered the door, still confused by Marti's revelation.

As soon as the door opened, I felt all of my anger returning, but it was directed to another person: Clay. Why the fuck is he here? Can't he keep his paws off of Z for a fucking day? I glared at him. He visibly stiffened.

"Is Elle here?" He asked. I nodded, but I didn't move. "Can I come in?" He asked, trying to get me to move. I should my head.

"I need to talk to you." I told him. He looked confused but nodded.

"Okay." He said.

"I'll come out." I told him. He nodded. I stepped out onto the porch and shut the door behind me.

"Would you rather talk somewhere else?" He asked. I shrugged.

"Sure." I told him. He nodded.

"Okay, let's go; I'll drive." He offered. I nodded. He got into his car and I climbed into the passenger's seat.

-.-

Lizzie's P.O.V.

I finished cleaning up my knees. I didn't bother with bandages… I need to shower, and I'll just have to replace them. It would just waste the bandages. I left the first aid kit in the bathroom. I took a deep breath and ran a hand through my hair as I left the bathroom. I started to head to my room when I saw Casey watching me from her doorway. I looked at her questioningly. She didn't say anything, but followed me into my room.

She shut the door behind us. She looked at me expectantly. I didn't do or say anything. She walked in front of me, and gently pushed me backward onto my bed. I sat up but she pushed me backwards. She crawled over me, and straddled my midsection. My eyes flicked over to the door. She locked it; I hadn't been paying attention.

"What did he do to you?" She asked in a soft voice. Suddenly I realized why she was trapping me like this. She doesn't want any bullshit answer; she doesn't want to give the chance to lie; she wants the truth. I took a shaky breath. "Tell me what happened, Lizard." She commanded softly.

"Let me up." I told her. She shook her head. "Casey," I warned.

"Okay, but tell me the truth, Lizard." She said, with pleading eyes.

"I will." I promised. I grabbed the remote next to me and I turned on my music. I told her some of what happened… some things, she doesn't need to know. And some things, I don't feel comfortable sharing. I left out almost of the details before yesterday… before last night. Casey didn't say much, she just listened. She looked morose by the time I was finished speaking.

"So, that's why Edwin hit Derek? That bastard, he deserved it, then." Casey said quietly, to herself. She looked over at me and pulled me to her; she just held me. It felt nice to be held by someone who knew most of what was going on.

"I don't understand him, Case. I don't know what to do." I told her. She started to say something, but stopped.

"Liz, talk to me. Is there something else that happened?" She asked. I shook my head. She doesn't need to know. "What are you feeling?" She tried again. I just shook my head.

"I need to think about this, Casey. I need… to be alone." I told her. She nodded and then shook her head.

"I get that you need space, but I'm not sure that you being alone is what you need right now." She argued.

"Casey…" I started to say, but she interrupted me.

"Just know that if you need me, I'm here. Don't shut me out, if you're suffering through this. I don't- I don't want you to do anything stupid or reckless." Casey finished. I nodded.

"I will, but I need to deal with this, alone." I told her. She nodded. She squeezed me before letting me go. She kissed my forehead and left my room. I closed my eyes and knew what I had to do to get myself under control. If I don't do something soon… I'm going to explode.

I got off of my bed and walked over to the window. I crouched down and took the cushion pillow off of my window seat. I lifted up the lid and moved all of my things out of the storage space. After everything was out, I took out the false bottom. I moved a few things that I keep hidden, because I don't want anyone else to soil them. One of those things is a small throw pillow. I unzipped the pillow cover and retrieved my poetry journal. I need to write.

-.-

Derek's P.O.V.

We drove in a strangely comfortable silence. After a few minutes, Clay put some music on. I smiled to myself after I heard his music choice.

_It kills me not know this_

_But I've all but just forgotten_

_What the color of her eyes were_

_And her scars or how she got them_

_As the telling sign of age rains down _

_A single tear is droppin'_

_Through the valley of an aging face, that this world has forgotten_

_There is no reconciliation that will put me in my place._

_And there is no time like the present._

_So, drink these draining seconds._

_Seldom do these words ring true._

_And I'm constantly failing you._

I have to admit, he has good taste in music. …As much as I hate to admit that I like anything about him. He's still a slime ball… specifically the slime ball that keeps trying to get with Z. I wasn't paying too much attention to our destination. Clay slowed down and parked. I looked at our surroundings. We're at Sal's. Why are we here?

Clay got out of the car; I followed suit. He took me to the back of Sal's. We went in the back way, and he led me into a hidden, vacant room.

"This is my uncle's restaurant and they only use the back room for storage. No one comes back here, so we can talk." Clay explained.

"Cool," I responded. Clay sat down after he shut the door to the backroom behind us. He motioned for me to sit in the chair next to him. I sat down and he waited for me to start talking. "So, you and Z, huh?" I started out, lamely. He nodded.

"Is this what you wanted to talk to me about?" He questioned. I nodded.

"Don't hurt her." I told him. He looked at me, surprised. A casual smile spread across his face.

"Is this the: you hurt her and I'll hurt you speech?" He asked, smirking. I nodded. "That's funny, coming from you." Clay stated.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I questioned him.

"The way that talk down to her… It surprises me that you want to talk to me about treating Elle right, when you don't." Clay said. He looked me directly in the eyes as he spoke. His eyes are fearless. What kills me is that I know that he's right.

"I didn't mean what I said to her last night. I had a shitty day, and I took it out on her." I defended myself to him. I tried to justify my actions.

"Derek, man, I never had a problem with you until yesterday. You've always seemed pretty cool whenever I saw you around town. But, last night, you seemed to know exactly what you were saying and you didn't seem to regret any of it. You had to know the effect that your words were having on her." Clay leveled with me. My brow furrowed. "Elle fucking adores you, man. Why else would she take what you say so seriously? I know you're her older brother," Clay continued to explain. I visibly winced at the words "brother". The things I'm feeling for Z are anything but brotherly. "But the way she actually listens to what you say, is so much different than the way she listens to Casey." Clay finished explaining. I didn't say anything.

"I know that I fucked up… but understand that I _**do**_ care about Z. And, if you hurt her, I _**will **_make you regret it." I threatened him. He didn't look scared or surprised. He nodded and… smiled.

"I wouldn't expect anything less. I know that you love her; I'll treat her right." Clay told me. I nodded.

"I do; I love her. I think you're a good guy, don't prove me wrong." I told him, but my mind was elsewhere. What I said… I knew that I meant them… but I didn't know how… not until I heard myself say them out loud. I love Z; I love her. What else could explain what I'm feeling towards her?

"Now that we have that out of the way, I need to say something." Clay told me. Despite the fact that him being into Lizzie, I actually like this kid. I mean, he's got guts. If I can't be with Z, I wouldn't mind her being with him. But I'll be damned if I let that happen without trying.

"Go ahead." I told him. He nodded.

"It might not be my place, but if I hear you talk that way to Lizzie again, I'm going to hand your ass to you." He said, seriously. I smirked.

"You can try." I told him, arrogantly. "But, I wouldn't expect anything less. But, Z is a big girl, she can handle her own battles." I told him.

"I know that." He assured me.

"Good, because if you didn't, that's something you should learn, quick. Z doesn't always let people take care of her. She takes care of herself; she always has…. There is a lot of things that she doesn't talk about." I told him.

"I know." He said. I nodded.

"Okay, then." I said. "We done here?" I asked him. He nodded.

"Do you want anything to eat, or anything? It's on the house." He offered, as a peace offering.

"Sure, but after this, you wanna run me home?" I asked. He nodded.

"Sure." He said.

-.-

Lizzie's P.O.V.

I turned my music up louder… It's easier to lose myself in my writing that way. I wrote as the music filled the room around me.

_An escape is just a nod and a casual wave._

_Obsessed about it, heavy for the next few days_

_It's only just a crush; it'll go away._

_It's just like all the others; it'll go away._

_Or maybe this is danger, and he just don't know._

_You pray it all away but it continues to grow._

I set my pen down and turned the page of my journal. I finished a piece and continued to write another. Nothing is stopping the words from flowing out of me.

_I want to hold you close._

_Skin pressed against you tight._

_Lie still; close your eyes, girl._

_So lovely, it feels so right._

I concentrated on writing; the words around me only gave me more inspiration.

_I want to hold you close. _

_Soft breath, beating heart_

_As I whisper in your ear_

_I want to fucking tear you apart._

I continued to write. Hopefully what I'm writing actually makes sense. Sometimes when I really get going, it doesn't. I skip words and I have to correct my work when I reread it later.

I paused when I saw little drops of water on my paper. Only then, did I realize that I had tears pouring down my cheeks. I couldn't stop them. Writing is the only time that I willing allow myself to become emotional. It's hard to write and not get lost in my emotions.

I jumped; someone touched my shoulder. I looked up and saw a very concerned looking Derek. I jumped, again. I didn't notice the door open. I hurriedly wiped at my cheeks and got off of the floor. Derek pulled me to his chest. I pushed against him, but he didn't let me go.

"Are you okay? Why were you crying Z?" Derek whispered.

"Don't fucking touch me, Derek." I growled. I pushed against him, again.

"Stop it Elizabeth! Damn it; tell me what's making you cry." He said, angrily.

"No." I told him and he let me go. I grabbed the clean clothes that I set on my bed, earlier and went to the bathroom. I took off my clothes and got into the shower. I sat down on the shower floor, and I let everything go; I sobbed.

-.-

Derek's P.O.V.

I never expected to get along with Clay so well. With a few exceptions… he reminds me a lot of myself. My thoughts flickered to what just happened. I opened Z's door and saw her sitting on the floor. I gently touched her shoulder. She jumped at looked up at me. Her face is covered in tears. She stood up and I tried to hold her. I just wanted to make her stop hurting. She refused my comfort and left. I sat down on her bed and raked both hands through my hair.

I stopped when something caught my attention. I can see pages with Z's writing on it. It looks like a journal. …I know I probably shouldn't look at it, but I couldn't help myself. Maybe she wrote down what's upsetting her. I can't let her hurt like this.

A loud blast of music filled the room. I looked around, remembering that I was in Z's room. The song must've changed. I looked at the words she wrote, and started read them; I read them softly under my breath.

"_**No one really understands. **__**How I feel inside. I have trouble finding the truth, that's buried underneath all of their lies. **_

_**The world I was born into, I don't recognize this place. Everyone has two faces. I don't know what to say; I miss the way it used to be. Honestly, I'm not sure how to survive here. Every day is a different challenge: new rules and different things to face. **_

_**Am I any different? Am I worthy of your saving grace? I've lost sight of everything, among the rubble. I've lost myself; I don't know who I am anymore. Can you save me from this haze? **_

_**I'm not sure if I'm broken or if I have just forgotten how to work. Broken toys and broken dreams surround me. I am among the lost and forgotten. What was worth remembering of me? I can't remember. I used to be sane here. **_

_**Here, I used to be safe. The world bled into an alternate universe; everything here is twisted and fake. Save me from this nightmare. Alas, I can't wake up. Still, no one can see me. I have chosen to give up."**_ I whispered.

It took me a few minutes to process what I had just read.

_Try to find out what makes you tick._

_As I lie down sore and sick._

_Do you like that? _

_Do you like that?_

_There's a fine line between love and hate._

_And I don't mind_

_Just let me say, that I like that._

_I like that._

I sat on her floor and flipped through her journal. I didn't want to read all of it, but I want to read more of it. I need to know how she's feeling. I never knew she was suffering this much. The music drowned out the rest of the world.

_Something's getting in the way._

_Something's just about to break._

_I will try to find my place_

_In the diary of Jane_

Some parts in particular resonated with me more than the rest of what she wrote.

"_**I pray for a different tomorrow: a better, quieter tomorrow. Until then, my hands act as barriers: my only devices to mute the sounds. Music helps drown out the swirls of angry words. Tonight, screams and vulgarities will be my lullaby. Yelling and profanities will sing me to sleep tonight. My radio is broken; my ears are open; my hands are falling to sleep. Everything is failing me. Sleep is starting to wash over me. I'm ready for a night of peace. If the nightmares stay away, tonight will be better. Better, than tomorrow." **_I continued to read.

I rarely own up to my feelings, but my heart was breaking for her.

_As I burn another page_

_As I look the other way_

_I still try to find my place_

_In the diary of Jane_

"_**Things are different. Her eyes are haunted. She has shadows under her eyes. She never says anything is wrong." **_I read enough and closed the journal.

I threw it across the room. How had I been so fucking blind?

_Desperate, I will crawl._

_Waiting for so long_

_No love_

_There is no love._

_Die for anyone…_

_What have I become?_

I got up and turned off her music. I picked up the journal. I need to find Ed and apologize. Does he know about this? How could he. I sighed, angrily, and I left Z's room and looked for Edwin.

I paused outside the bathroom door. Would he be in the shower? I listened closely. I didn't hear any singing or music. Ed's the only one who takes quiet showers. He won't mind if I interrupt his shower, not with something this important.

I opened the bathroom door and shut it behind me. I walked past the next doorway and in the part of the bathroom that held the shower. I pulled back the shower curtain and I peered inside. It's definitely not Edwin.

-.-

Lizzie's P.O.V.

I started turning around in the shower, expecting to see Marti or Casey. Sometimes Marti likes to come in when I'm showering and tell me some of the stories that she made up that day, and sometimes Casey just wants to talk. I covered my chest with arm before turning around. I looked up in shock.

"Derek?" I asked, mortified. He blinked, trying to get his brain to unfreeze.

"S-sorry, I thought Ed was in here." He said, embarrassed. He didn't move… neither did I. I was rooted to the spot.

"I'm not Ed." I told him. He nodded. He looked up and down the now, wet and soapy, and very naked me.

"I know **that**." He said. I pulled the shower curtain closed and he turned around, covering his eyes. "I would have never done that, if I knew you were the one showering. Normally Ed is the only one who doesn't shower without music." Derek explained.

My cheeks were burning. I took a deep breath and tried to process what just happened.

"I'm, um, I'm gonna go." He announced. "But, I _**need**_ to talk to you when you're out." He said.

"Is that what you needed to talk to Edwin about?" I asked, still humiliated.

"Yeah, sort of." He said. I nodded, slowly, to myself.

"You can stay, if you promise not to touch the shower curtain, again." I told him, hoping I wouldn't regret my decision.

"I won't." He promised. I saw his shadow next to the shower. He sat on the toilet, so he could talk to me.

"I'll have to push you up the stairs and make you bruise your shins, if you do." I warned. He laughed.

"I won't." He promised.

"What did you want to talk about?" I asked him. He cleared his throat.

"You left your journal out on the floor." He revealed.

"You read it?" I croaked.

"Yeah, but… Z, I didn't know you were dealing with all of this. Why didn't you tell me?" He asked.

"I didn't tell anyone. That journal is supposed to be private. It's how I deal with things." I said, angrily.

"I get that you're mad, but, Lizzie, you've been hurting for so long." He said, in a melancholy voice.

"It's not a big deal, Derek. Most of that, is years old. I don't write everything down… or in the same place. Some things I throw away… or I burn." I said.

"Z, the things you wrote. It's all so raw, and full of pain." He said.

"Not everything." I corrected him.

"Most of it." He said. I sighed. I washed off the last of my soap.

"Can I have my towel, please?" I asked him. I turned off the water. He handed it to me, over the shower rod. I wrapped it around myself before coming out of the shower.

He looked at me, intensely.

-.-

Derek's P.O.V.

I'm such a dumbass. I can't believe I walked in on her taking a shower. But, at least I know that my thoughts are definitely not brotherly. I can't stop thinking about her in the shower, with the water cascading over her body.

"Z, you need to talk to someone when you're feeling this way." I told her.

"I deal with things, my own way, Derek. Lately, I can't even have a civil conversation with you. How do you expect me to open up to you and tell you all of my problems? I know that you're used to every female you know whining to you about their problems, but I don't do that." She told me.

"I know that. Why won't you let me help you?" I demanded.

"I don't need your help. …And I don't know why you would want to help me, not with the way you've been treating me lately." She told me.

"I'm so sorry. You didn't deserve any of it." I told her. She looked at me before speaking.

" I-I love you, Z. I'm so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I just couldn't be the only one hurting." I told her. I'm probably going to regret my words later.

"What?" She asked. "Why are you hurting?" She asked me. I didn't say anything.

"I want things to be okay between us." I told her. She nodded.

"You're forgiven." She told me. I pulled her into a hug, and this time, she let me. "I love you, too." She whispered, against my chest.

We broke away when Marti pounded on the bathroom door. I watched Z put her robe on, and grab her clothes.

"I need to tell you about Princess Lily pad and her conquest over the kingdom of Cheerios!" Marti yelled. Lizzie looked at me and we laughed. We both left the bathroom. Marti went with Z to her room, telling her merrily about her story. Marti went into Z's room, first. Lizzie looked back at me one last time, before going into her room. I nodded to her. The corners of her mouth twitched, before she disappeared into her room.

**Author's Note: I'm SO sorry for the delay. This chapter is long (like the last one) to make up for it! Please review and let me know what you think!**

**-Hugs and junk always!-**

** ~Anneryn**


	8. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: Hello lovelies! I was really trying to get a new chapter out before I left for vacation. I am so happy to day that I actually accomplished it. :) A shout out to: Jkteen, there is some Lizzie/Clay goodness in this chapter. :) With that being said, don't give up on Dizzie just yet.**

**XOXO**

**~Anneryn**

**I DO NOT OWN LIFE WITH DEREK OR THE CHARACTERS (Clay, Peter, Kathryn and Destiny, however, are mine. ^_^)**

Chapter 7:

So, things are right back where they started. I sighed and climbed out of bed. I looked over at my alarm clock. It's 4 in the freaking morning, and I can't sleep. I pulled some shorts on, over my panties, and pulled my shirt down. I grabbed my phone and opened my room door and went downstairs. None of the lights are on; I think I'm the only one awake. I let out a sigh of relief. Good, I'm really not in the mood to talk to anyone, right now.

I jumped as my phone started vibrating. I looked down. It's a text message. I flipped my phone open. I smiled; it's Clay. I read the message.

_Hey, you still up?_ I smiled after I read it. I sent a reply.

_Yeah, I am. Why are you still up? Lol. _I sent him.

_I was asleep, but I woke up about an hour ago, and couldn't fall back asleep. I thought you might be up, so I sent you a text. _He said. I smiled, again.

_I couldn't sleep, either. So, what are you up to? _I asked him.

_Right now? I'm texting this gorgeous chick._ He responded. I let out a quiet laugh. I looked around me, to make sure that no one else was up, or down here. I went into the kitchen and sat on the counter, before I texted him back.

_Lol. Sure, sure. You aren't doing anything else? _I asked him.

_Well, I was wondering if I come see you, if you were awake. _He asked me.

_Sure, come over. _I told him.

_You won't get in trouble with George and Nora? _He asked.

_Well, we can sit outside of the side door. I wouldn't be leaving, and you wouldn't be coming inside. And they've let you stay here late before. They trust us. _I told him.

_Haha, okay. If you're sure. _He sent.

_Lol. Are you coming over? _I asked him.

_Yes, give me 10 minutes. _He said.

_Alright. See you in ten… && We're just talking. _I told him.

_Deal, as long as I can hold you._ He negotiated.

_Alright. _I sent him.

_:) 10 minutes. _He said.

I shut my phone and held it in my hand. I closed my eyes, and waited. I honestly can't see Mom and George getting angry with me over this. Both Casey and Derek have had people stay over. It's not like he's staying, or I'm sneaking out. I just need… time with a sane person.

My phone buzzed in my hand. I opened my eyes and flipped it open.

_Here :). _He sent. I slipped off of the counter and walked into the laundry room. I quietly unlocked the door and saw Clay. He smiled. I held a finger to my lips. I closed the door as soon as I was outside. He walked over to me and pulled me into a hug. He lifted me up and I put my arms around his neck. He lifted me higher. I giggled and he put me down.

I sat down; he followed suit. He put his arm around my shoulder. I leaned my head in the groove of his neck. He sighed.

"Thanks for letting me come." He said. I nodded. "I just… I needed to see you." I nodded again. I sighed.

"You're pretty amazing. You know that?" I asked him. He chuckled.

"Why can't you sleep, sweetie?" He asked me. I shrugged.

"My brain won't shut off." I told him.

"Don't you need it… to survive?" He asked.

"Oh, hush." I told him. He chuckled, again. "You're lucky." I told him.

"Any why is that?" He asked me.

"You smell so good. And you're sane. Otherwise, I wouldn't take your sass." I told him. He laughed.

"Oh, is that right? You like the way I smell, otherwise you would kick me to the curb?" He asked.

"Yep," I told him. He picked me up and put me on his lap, facing him.

"That's not very nice." He said seriously.

"I never said I was nice." I told him. He laughed. He started tickling me; I tried to get off of his lap, but turned out to be unsuccessful.

"Jerk… jerk… JERK!" I said. He finally stopped tickling me. I moved off of his lap, and sat away from him.

"I never said I was nice, either." He told me. I glared at him.

"I take it back." I told him.

"Take what back?" He asked.

"You being sane," I told him. He smiled.

"Oh, you know you like me. I'm amazing, remember?" He said. I didn't say anything. "Is there another reason that you can't sleep?" He asked, moving next to me. I shook my head. "Really?" He asked. I nodded. "Because, sometimes, I've heard that when gorgeous people don't get a goodnight kiss… they just… can't sleep." He said. With each word, his face moved closer to mine. I looked at him. He touched his lips to mine.

I gasped as his lips touched mine. He turned his body to face mine. His arms went around me, bringing me closer to him. I put my arms around his neck. He lifted me to his lap; it made it easier to kiss. I couldn't think when he kissed me. He moved his lips against mine. He makes me feel so inexperienced. But, everything I'm doing… is pure instinct.

He moved his tongue along my bottom lip, and begged for entrance. I parted my lips, and allowed him to slip into my mouth. One of his hands went to the back of my head and tangled itself in my hair. I groaned. He moved his tongue, expertly. I lost track of how long we stayed like this. Gradually, it became a bit lighter outside. I pulled away from him. I sucked down air, my lungs are on fire. I leaned my forehead on his. He just held me. He continued to give me small kisses. Eventually, we went back to full blown making out, like before.

This time, I pulled away, I moved off of him. And rested my head against the side of the house.

"We need to stop." I told him. He nodded.

"If that's what you want." He said. I nodded.

"We need to…. I need to." I told him. He stood up and helped me to my feet. He leaned down and kissed me. I pushed gently against his chest. If I didn't, we both know where this would have ended up. "Sleep, I need sleep." I told him. He nodded.

"You should go to bed." He said. Something about the way he said "bed", made me feel so….

"Good, um, morning," I told him. He nodded. He kissed me; this time, I let him. I slipped my tongue into his mouth. He moved in surprise, but helped me deepen the kiss. I pulled away. "One for the road," I said, smiling. He gave me a quick peck.

"I know I'll have… sweet dreams." He said. He waited while I went inside. I gave him a small wave as I locked the door. I snuck back up into my room. I closed my room door behind me and lay down on my bed. There was no way that I was going to sleep anytime soon… not after that.

I get butterflies in my stomach whenever I'm with Clay. And… honestly, it is nothing in comparison. It's nothing to what I feel when I'm with Derek. But, the way that Clay treats me… maybe that's enough. Maybe, I can settle… and it wouldn't be so bad.

I stared at the ceiling and tried to forget about everything. It isn't working… Eventually, I zoned out and fell asleep.

I'm in my room, with Derek. He's leaning closely to me. He's whispering sweet things in my ears and doing something to my arm with his hand. I gasped and cried out in pain. I looked down to see what he was doing.

He stabbed a safety pin into my arm, and started twisting.

"What's the matter, Z?" He asked me. "I thought you liked the pain. Isn't that why you keep me around?" He asked. I flinched. I pushed him away, and slowly pulled out the now bloody safety pin. I cringed and threw it to the floor. I stood up and started walking towards the door. Derek followed me, and backed me up against one of my bedroom walls.

He put two hands on my waist. He leaned forward and left a trail of kisses along my jaw. His hands slipped underneath my shirt and lifted it, higher and higher. I tried to push him away, but found it impossible. A hand dipped into my bra and his thumb brushed my nipple. I shuddered and fought harder. He used his free hand to trap both of my wrists.

"All I ever do is hurt you. Why do you still want me?" He asked me. His lips covered my mouth and gave me harsh, brutal, bruising kisses. I struggled against him.

Something crashed and I sat up with a start. I looked around my room and saw Derek picking up some books off of my floor.

"What the fuck, Derek?" I asked, still reeling from the dream. He looked ever at me. I was blinking, trying to help my eyes adjust to the light faster.

"Sorry, Z. Everything okay?" He asked. He placed the books back on my desk. He walked over to me and sat down on my bed. I got off of my bed, and stayed out of reach. "Lizzie, what's wrong? Talk to me." He said. I looked at him and shook my head as I rubbed my temples. I glanced at my clock. I haven't even been asleep two hours. It's 8:37 a.m.

He got off of my bed and put his hand on my forearm. I pulled my arm away.

"Don't… Don't touch me please." I told him. I walked out of room and went into Casey's. I shut the door before Derek could follow me. Casey was reading, still in bed. I slipped under her covers and lay beside her. She put her book down and looked at me, concerned.

"Lizard, what's wrong?" She asked. I shook my head.

"Just… just a dream. I-I can't shake. I'm not talking about it… please." I told her. She nodded. She laid down on her side and faced me, and put an arm lazily over my middle. She stroked the side of my face, and brushed my hair to the side with her fingers. I looked up at her. How did I get so fucked up? I felt tears building, so I closed my eyes.

"How did I get so messed up, Case?" I asked her. I kept my eyes closed but I can still picture her reaction.

"You aren't messed up, Liz. You're just dealing with some things." She said.

"You don't even know… how could you?" I said. She didn't say anything. She stopped stroking my face and snuggled next to me, and held me. I fell into a peaceful sleep.

"Lizzie, get up. We need to go. Now!" Casey shouted. I jumped and fell out of bed. I looked up at her to see if she was kidding. She's not kidding. She's serious!

"What? Why? What's going on? I need clothes." I told her, trying to wake up. She left her room, and came back. She tossed me a clean pair of panties followed by a pair of vans. She opened her closet and tossed me a tank top, a belt, and a skirt. I didn't ask any more questions. I stripped out of my clothes and put on everything that she gave me. I still had my bra on from the night before.

I'm wearing a white tank top, than doesn't quite meet the skirt. It's an inch or so too short. The skirt is a faded, blue-gray, jean mini. And where did she get this belt? It looks like a seat belt. Casey threw a pair of socks at the back of my head. I picked them up off of the floor and put them on. I smiled; she remembered to give me ankle socks.

"Talk to me, Case. Where are we going?" I asked her. She looked over at me, still getting dressed.

"We just… we need to leave. You have thirty seconds. I'll get your purse. Go downstairs, go through the side door, and wait by my car. Go!" She said. She threw me her purse and I let. I sprinted down the stairs, through the living room, through the kitchen, and through the laundry room, and out the door. I rummaged through her purse and found her keys. I unlocked her car and climbed in the driver's side.

I turned the car on and turned on the radio, still waiting for my brain to clear up. A second later Casey came running out and got into the car. She handed me my purse and took hers. She grabbed deodorant from her purse. She put some on and handed it to me. I followed suit. She spritzed some body spray over both of us. The handed me a piece of gum and put her seatbelt on.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on?" I asked her.

"Just drive; I'll explain on the way." She said.

"Where to?" I asked her.

"Sal's," she said. I nodded. I backed the car out of the driveway and drove as Casey explained. "Derek came in with that annoying blonde girl. What's her name? Bethany? Dusty? Daphne?... Am I getting close?" She asked, trying to remember her name.

"Destiny?" I offered.

"Yeah, yeah. Her. Anyways, he brought her upstairs. And she wanted to talk to you for whatever reason. But, after she said that she wanted to talk to you, she practically jumped Derek's bones. I just… I know that you're dealing with a lot right now. I didn't think that you needed to see that. And, there's a sale at the mall in a few hours. And this way, you get to see Clay." She finished explaining.

I glanced over at her and rolled my eyes.

"The mall Casey?" I whined. She nodded. "Alright, thanks. But, I don't have to be coddled." I told her.

"Liz, I was just trying to spare you." She said.

"I don't even know what I think anymore." I told her. We didn't say anything else until we reached Sal's. I locked the car and put Casey's keys in my purse. I sighed and we walked into Sal's. I need coffee. We stood by the door and waited for a table to open up. The morning rush is still going. A woman I have seen a few times came up to us.

She's extremely pretty. She has black hair and familiar, amazing eyes.

"I've seen you girls in here a lot. How are ya?" She asked, happily. I smiled at her.

"I'm doing pretty well. How about you?" I asked her. Her smile brightened.

"I'm fantastic, actually. I'm sorry to ask this out of the blue, but you wouldn't happen to be Lizzie McDonald by any chance?" She asked me. My smiled brightened and it donned on me.

"Oh my gosh, are you Clay's mom?" I asked her. She smiled and nodded.

"I'm Kathryn. You're even more lovely in person." She said, beaming. I blushed.

"Thank you. So are you, I've heard such good things." I told her. She pulled me into a friendly hug. I returned the hug. She pulled away and looked at me, then tucked a stray piece of hair behind my ear.

"Clay was right, you know." She said.

"Right about what?" I asked her.

"You are naturally… pretty." She said. I smiled.

"Thank you." I told her. She nodded.

"Let's see about getting you two a table. Oh, I'm sorry. I can be so forgetful. Are you her sister?" Kathryn asked Casey. She smiled and nodded.

"I'm Casey; it's so nice to meet you." Casey introduced herself, smiling. Kathryn smiled and nodded.

"The pleasure is mine, honey." She said. She beckoned us to follow her. She led us to an empty table. She gave me another quick hug and left to tend to other things. Casey and I sat down. I sighed.

"I need coffee." I groaned. Casey laughed. "You can laugh, but I'm serious. I'm going to see if Peter is working; hopefully he'll give me coffee." I said, wishfully. Peter is almost always working here. He's nearly my mom's age, and he's a family friend. He knows that I am a coffee-holic. I walked over to the bar seating and leaned over and waited until he noticed I was there. He has a hat on, like always. He's the only one who is allowed to wear one. But, Sal's wouldn't be Sal's without Peter. He looked up and smiled. He has burnt orange hair and a few freckles. He has kind blue eyes and is attractive for his age. I smiled.

"And what do I owe to this pleasure this morning?" He asked me.

"Casey's compulsive need to shop." I told him. He laughed and pulled out a mug from underneath the counter. He filled it to coffee and handed it to me. I set the coffee down on the counter in front of me. "You are a saint. They should make a holiday just in honor on you." I told him. He laughed. He shook his head.

"What are you going to do when we run out of coffee one day?" He asked me. I put a hand to my chest.

"Don't joke about serious things like that. I would cry." I told him. He gave me a serious look and put a hand on top of mine, the one of the counter.

"I'm sorry. I forgot that coffee was a sensitive subject." He said, mocking me. I nodded.

"I'm not sure if I could survive without it." I told him. He nodded and chuckled.

"Well, does Casey need coffee too?" He asked me. I shrugged.

"I told her I was coming to get some and laughed, so I'm assuming not. But you know what they say about assuming things, so…" I told him. He laughed.

"Someone will be over to get you guys food in a bit." He told me. I nodded.

"Thank you for the coffee. You are my new favorite person." I told him. He raised his eyebrows.

"I wasn't already?" He asked.

"Oh, you were. But not you are my official favorite person of the day." I told him. He grinned. I picked up my coffee and took a sip as I walked over to our table. I just set my coffee down when I heard my name being called. I turned around to see Clay. I smiled. He looks like he just got here. He doesn't have his waist apron on or anything.

He walked over to me and pulled me into a hug. I hugged him back. He pulled away, barely and kissed my forehead.

"Hello to you, too." I said, smiling. He smiled.

"I missed you." He said, seriously. I chuckled.

"It's been like six hours." I told him. He shrugged.

"Technicalities." He said. He brought his lips softly to mine. He pulled away and put his arm around me.

"I met your mom. She's really sweet." I told him. He smiled. "I can see where you get your good looks from." I told him. He chuckled.

"She's always been beautiful. I bet she's ecstatic that she finally met you." He said. I looked at him, with questioning eyes. "She asked me a few days ago." He said.

"Why didn't you say anything? I would have loved to meet her." I told him.

"I know, but with everything… it didn't seem like a good time to ask. I was going to ask you today. But, now you've already met her. So, she'll probably want to have you over for dinner." He told me.

"Just let me know when. I would love to." I told him. He smiled and kissed my forehead.

"I need to get to work." He said. I nodded. "Oh, look. You and Casey haven't ordered yet. I guess I'll just have to take your order." He said. I smiled.

"Oh, how convenient," I mused. He chuckled. He walked me to my seat. I sat down. He took a seat next to me and put his arm around my shoulder.

"Can I get you beautiful ladies anything?" He asked. Casey and I smiled. Casey was the first to order.

"Coffee would be awesome, and a small order of pancakes and strawberries." She ordered. Clay nodded and looked at me.

"And what can I get you?" He asked.

"Hmm… something sweet." I told him. He leaned in and kissed me. I smiled, pulling away. "Well, now that I've had some sugar… scrambled eggs and toast would be good." I told him. He nodded and got up. Casey looked at me and smiled. I shook my head. "Later." I told her.

We ate our food and left. Casey drove to the mall and she did most of the shopping, but picked out some things for me. Once we were done shopping. I told her what I decided with Derek. I love him… I honestly, truly, love him. More than I should… More than… But, all he does is hurt me. And it might be part of the dream talking, but when he hurts me, its worse. I just… I can't do it anymore. I can't hope and pray that one day things are going to be different, because it hurts too much.

I have a good thing going with Clay. And maybe… one day… it will grow and I will love him, like I love Derek, now. I just… can't.

Casey didn't like it, but she didn't try to change my mind, either. I think a part of her understands. Casey pulled into the driveway and we both got out of the car and went inside, in silence. Derek was watching hockey in the living room with Ed. He said hi, but I didn't answer him. I went upstairs and dumped my bags on my bedroom floor. I feel exhausted. I fell onto my bed, not brothering to shed my shoes. I closed my eyes. I sighed when I heard my door shut.

"Not now, Derek." I said, without opening my eyes. He chuckled.

"How did you know it was me?" He asked. I shrugged.

"I am ninja like in all of my abilities." I told him. I felt him sit down near my feet.

"Talk to me, Z." He said. I shook my head. "Damn it, Elizabeth. You can't always fucking shut me out!" He said, exasperated. I sat up and faced him. I got off of my bed and stood up.

"Why? Why the hell not, Derek?" I asked him. "All you ever do is hurt me!" I told him. He looked at me with raging, melancholy eyes.

"I never mean to, Z. I just…" He said.

"You just what?" I asked him. "_**You **_walk around pissed off all of the time, and you say that I don't know. But you never say what." I told him. He got off of my bed and faced me.

"What do you want me to say?" He asked me, angrily.

"The truth!" I told him.

"I can't." He said.

"Then get out." I told him.

"Z, you don't mean that." He said.

"Yes, I do. I'm tired of whatever this is. Of whatever we've been doing. It hurts too much. Until you can tell me whatever is wrong with you, just… treat me the same as you treat Edwin or… Casey." I told him, softly. He looks defeated.

"You'll never be the same." He said. I didn't say anything. I opened my door and waited for him to leave.

"I'm with Clay. You should get used to it." I told him. He gave me an indescribable look. I shut the door and crawled onto my bed. I didn't cry. I just laid there, and sobbed, on the inside. How did I get here?

**Author's Note: Hope you all enjoyed it! Please don't be afraid to review. Sadly, I only received two reviews for the last chapter *tear* The next chapter should be up in a few weeks! :^)**

**-Hugs and Junk-**

**XOXO**

**~Anneryn**


	9. AN

Hello my wonderful lovelies! I am so dreadfully sorry that I haven't updated in so long. I know that an update is long overdue. I've been suffering with writer's block for quite some time now. Everything I start to write, I just can't finish. I'm putting all of my stories on official, temporary hiatus.

Hugs, love, and apologies!

XOXO

~Anneryn


	10. Chapter 8

**Author's Note: Hello Lovelies! I'm SO incredibly sorry that it has taken this stinkin' long for me update. You officially have my permission to hate me. But, I got inspired, and I'm slowly catching up with all of my stories. I think you guys deserve an explanation SO here it is. Home life isn't great right now, it hasn't been for awhile. I'm been so busy, everything has just been hectic. But I'm making time to write. On another note, I know this chapter is short. But I'll have a new chapter up soon.**

**~Anneryn**

**I DO NOT OWN LIFE WITH DEREK OR THE CHARACTERS**

Chapter Eight:

I woke up with raw eyes. I don't need to see my reflection to know that they are puffy and bloodshot. I was sobbing in my sleep. Even in sleep, I wasn't granted any peace. My dreams continued to plague me. I feel like I was run over by a tank. I dragged my carcass out of bed. I didn't need to look at my clock to know that it was the middle of the night.

I pulled a pair of shorts on, over my panties and went downstairs. I can live feeling like my head is splitting open, but I can't live with a dry throat. I hope no one is downstairs, or even awake. I just can't deal with anything right now. I tried to will away my headache, but I had no luck. I reached the bottom of the stairs, and found the landing pitch black. I let out a breath of relief. Thank God.

I went into the kitchen and grabbed a clean glass out of the dishwasher and filled it up with water. I brought the full glass up to my forehead; it's throbbing. I blinked away reforming, unshed tears and just stood there, trying my best to ignore the pain. I closed my eyes and just stood there. I'm not sure how much time passed. I started walking, and opened my eyes. I jumped and almost dropped my water…. I was face to face with Derek. I tried to move around him, but he just blocked my efforts.

"Just move." I told him. He didn't say or do anything. He stayed perfectly still. I sighed. "I'm not in the fucking mood, Derek. Just move." I growled, my voice hoarse. He looked determined, but finally moved.

"Why won't you fucking talk to me?" He asked. I looked at him, and turned to face him.

"Goes both ways, and I told you. I'm just done. I don't want to talk to you. And if you have something to say, find someone else to listen." I told him. I shook my head and walked towards the stairs. He grabbed my arm and pulled me to a stop.

"What's going on with you?" He asked me, quietly.

"Nothing," I told him.

"Bullshit," he retorted. I shrugged.

"Believe what you want, I'm not going to stop you." I told him.

"I can't fix this, if I don't know." Derek pressed. I growled in irritation.

"What makes you think that this is something you can 'fix'? I don't need you to fix me, or my problems. I said nothing was wrong. Accept that, or don't. Let me go." I told him, yanking my arm out of his grip. He started to walk after me, but I walked faster. I would have run, if I hadn't gotten my water. I reached my room, and locked the door behind me. I flinched as my phone went off. I answered it, absentmindedly.

"Z, don't do this. Don't shut me out, please. I'm worried about you." Derek pleaded. I let out a bark of harsh laughter.

"I'm not your problem. Why don't you save yourself some worry, and think about something else." I told him, hanging up on him. I sighed, and hit my wall. Luckily, I didn't hit it hard enough to leave a mark, or break through. I took a deep breath and decided to dial another number. I listened to it ring.

"Hello," I heard a groggy voice answer. I sighed in relief.

"Hey, I know it's late. But…" I started to say. I was losing my nerve.

"It's fine, don't worry about it. Talk to me." The voice answered, more awake now.

"I just… It's been a shitty night. And, I really don't want to talk about it, or even think about it, really. But, I really don't want to be alone right now. I don't want to be alone with my thoughts." I said, my voice breaking.

"Hey, hey, it's alright. I'll be over soon. Just give me a minute." He promised.

"I'm sorry, and thank you." I told him.

"Don't apologize. You can call me anytime." He told me.

"Okay," I whispered.

"I'll be there in a minute, Elle." Clay promised. I hung up the phone and threw it at the wall. I sank to the floor and let my face fall into my hands. I sobbed, not caring what I looked like, or what anyone thought of me. I'm so tired of being alone all of the time. I can't deal with everything by myself. I just need to know… to feel like someone is here for me.

It's suffocating. I feel like I can't breathe. Everything that's going on in my head is confusing. I'm drowning in my thoughts, and I can't pull myself out. What is sanity, but a thought that one's self belongs to normalcy. Buzzing from across my room brought my hurdling back to reality. I crawled over to my phone and flipped it open.

"Hello," I whispered, my voice scratchy.

"I'm here, Sweetie. Let me in." Clay told me.

"Be right there." I told him. I mopped at my face with my fingers, and set my phone on my dresser. I stood up, and walked over to my bedroom door. I unlocked it, and made my way downstairs, slowly. Derek crept out of his room, and he walked over to me, to try and talk with me. "No," I told him. I kept walking. "Go to bed, Derek." I whispered. I know that he wouldn't listen to me. But I really don't want to deal with him starting anything with Clay, either.

I walked downstairs and unlocked the front door, as quietly as I could. I saw Clay standing in front of the door, in a pair of jeans, and a sleeveless tee shirt. It looks like he just pulled something on, become coming over here. He face changed as soon as he saw me. I sighed and looked away from him. This is exactly why I don't let people see me when I'm like this. I hate the looks… the looks of concern… pity. I moved so he could come inside. I shut the door behind him, and locked the door. He pulled me into his arms and held me against his chest. I grabbed fistfuls of his shirt in both of my hands, trying to bring him closer to me. My body shook and held back my tears. He kissed the top of my head. I pushed him away. He looked puzzled.

"Not here." I told him. He nodded. I let him lead the way to my room. I walked even slower than before, suddenly tired. Exhaustion must be taking its toll. He must have noticed, because he turned and picked me up. He carried me the rest of the way. Derek didn't say anything to him. They just exchanged silent looks. Clay took me to my room and shut the door behind us. I laid me down on my bed and lay down next to me. He stayed on his side, so he could put his arm around me, and I could face him while I talked. "I shouldn't have called. I'm sorry." I told him. He brushed some hair out of my face.

"I'm glad you called. You don't need to be sorry. Talk to me." He told me. I nodded.

"I just… I'm a mess." I told him, lamely. He sighed.

"A hot mess," he retorted. I glared at him.

"I don't know what's going on with me. I don't want to talk about it…. I just want it to stop." I told him. I felt the tears working their way back up, again.

"We don't have to talk, not if you don't want to." He told me, bringing his lips to my forehead. I nodded.

"Can you just…" I started. He looked at me. "Hold me, for tonight?" I asked him.

"Of course," he said. He moved over to his back and moved to my stomach. I leaned into him, and used his chest as a pillow. He wrapped his arms around me, and just held me. "Let it out. You don't have to be strong for me." He whispered, and that's all it took. Everything that I had been holding back, and holding inside, came pouring out. I couldn't stop the tears. They felt hot against my skin. They kept coming, and he just held me, and gave me something to cling to and cry on. I felt my body shake, and I felt him shower me with light kisses.

-.-

Derek's P.O.V.

I sat in the hallway, next to my room, and listened to Lizzie cry. The sound tears me up inside. I hate that I'm not the one that gets to comfort her, or the one that she turns to. I don't want to be the cause of her pain. I don't know how I became this twisted. Everything just got so fucked up, so fast. Why does she have to be my stepsister? If she wasn't, it would make everything so much easier. I keep thinking that if I can convince myself that I don't care about her, then I won't. But all that has done is hurt Z and me.

I can't keep doing this, but I don't know what else to do.

For now, I'm doing to do the only thing that I can do. I'm going to let her be with Clay. I need to get myself in check, before I do anything drastic. I wish I be more… better… There is no way in hell that she is going to end up with him. It's just a matter of time before she realizes what she already knows… She's mine.

**Author's Note: There you have it. I hope it didn't disappoint too much. Please review.**

**Much love**

**XOXO**

**~Anneryn**


	11. AN Part 2

Hello my wonderful lovelies!

I know that I suck as a fanfiction author, right now. Things have just been rough. You know how life is: it just keeps throwing crap at you. I just wanted everyone to know that I haven't forgotten on my stories, and I am working on them, and plan to update them all when I can. (I even have a few new stories in mind *excited face*.)

BUT, inspiration has been kind of lacking here lately, SO, if anyone has any ideas, or suggestions for my stories, just sent me a PM and I might just love you forever.

So, I figured I better put my stories on temporary hiatus. I promise it's not forever, just until I get some things (aka life, and junk) figured out. I love getting your feedback, and I know how I addicted I get to a lot of the stories on here. So, I want you to know how incredibly sorry I am that I've been lacking.

I love you all!

*Mundo amounts of hugs all around*

XOXO

~Anneryn


	12. Chapter 9

**Author's Note: Hey lovelies, I'm SO sorry it took me so friggin' long to update. I've been crazy busy. BUT here's a new chapter for you. :D I feel accomplished. I wanted to get this up before today was over. A birthday to present to myself, lol.**

**I DO NOT OWN LIFE WITH DEREK OR THE CHARACTERS**

Chapter Nine:

I opened my eyes slowly; they feel puffy and dry. My head feels like it's exploding, and my entire being aches. I took a shaky breath and felt Clay move beside me.

Honestly, I'm not sure why I called him last night. I needed someone, and he's the first person that came to mind. He didn't ask questions, he just came. He's… I sure as hell don't deserve him. I don't know why he wants me.

I started to feel the familiar burning sensation in my eyes, but I blinked it away. I tried to sit up but Clay held me to him. He pushed me back on the bed, and pressed himself on top of me. I gasped and looked up at him.

What is he doing? He looked down at me, intently.

"Clay," I said in a hoarse whisper. His expression softened.

"I know that I told you that you didn't have to tell me about it… but I can't let you suffer like this without trying to fix whatever it is." He whispered, with sincere eyes. I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. I just shook my head.

"It doesn't matter." I told him. His eyes told me that he didn't believe a word that I said, for a second. But, why can't he understand? Why can't he let it go? I just… I can't tell him.

"Anything that upsets you, matters." He said, sincerely, looking directly into my eyes. Why does he have to be like this? I don't deserve it. I sighed.

"I don't deserve you." I told him, shaking my head. I pushed him off of me enough, to get myself into a sitting position. "I told you; I'm a mess. I can't explain it, right now." I told him. He looked at me evenly.

"Try," he told me in a soft demanding voice. I just looked at him.

"About what?" I asked him, instead of answering his question.

"How your nightmares first started." Clay answered. I nodded.

"My parents used to fight about everything before they got a divorce…." I began to tell him.

-.-

Clay's POV

-.-

I sat there, transfixed, trying to be ready for whatever she was about to tell me. She looks so haunted by it all. Maybe I shouldn't have asked her to relive this. I can't keep watching her hurt like this… and not know why. I need to know… something.

I watched Elle suck in a shaky breath.

"The fights never really go violent. But, when my dad would get angry, he would throw anything that could cause damage that was in sight. He…" She broke off, calming herself down.

"What he said my mom…" She said, shaking her head.

"I don't know how she did it. She was always so calm. It… was horrible." She lowered her head and closed her eyes.

"I'm not sure what exactly triggered the nightmares or made them start… But, ever since, I've always gotten them." She stopped talking and laid back down, not facing me.

Why do I get the feeling that she isn't telling me everything? But, she did tell me something… At least I know something now.

I laid down next to her and wrapped an arm around her waist and kissed her neck, softly. Her shaking stopped.

"Is that what bothered you, Elle? Is that… everything?" I asked her, quietly. I felt her tremble next to me.

"They hated each other. Not just 'I can't stand the sight of you,' or 'I don't want to see you, until you admit I'm right'… They _hated _each other. I don't know if Casey ever saw it. Or what it was like whenever Casey was a little girl but, I seemed to remind them both about each other. Mom never let it show if she saw me differently… I've always looked more like my father than I look like her. But, he couldn't stand the fact that I looked like her, even a little bit. Casey always sided with my mom. She will forever be a mommy's girl, through and through. But I tried not to pick sides, so, my dad saw me as his ally in the house. And whenever I didn't agree with him… things got bad." She broke off.

She started shaking, worse than before. What did she go through? I scooted closer to her, my chest pressed against her back. I nuzzled my face into the crook of her neck. It's all starting to make sense now… She never lets anyone in. She's afraid she's not good enough. What did her father do to her?

-.-

Derek's POV

-.-

I heard the murmur of their voices, and I couldn't resist. I got up and sat against Z's bedroom door. Maybe this way, even if she won't talk to me, I'll be able to understand her. Not that I blame her for shutting me out, considering my track record.

Why does she have to confide in him? I can't stand that she's with him… that she lets him touch her… kiss her…. I shook my head and focused on what was being said behind the closed door.

-.-

Lizzie's POV

-.-

I sucked in a deep breath. I'm not sure why I'm telling him this…. This is something I've never talked about with anybody. But, now that I've started, I just can't seem to stop.

"After he finished screaming at my mother, he'd come into my room and start on me. It was always the same broken record. 'I wasn't good enough.' Or, 'I should have agreed with him, because if I had, they wouldn't have been fighting in the first place.' 'It was always my fault.' 'I should have been a good daughter, like Casey was. She never caused problems.' 'He didn't know how he could love a worthless disappointment. No one would ever love me.'" My voice cracked.

I wasn't supposed to tell anyone. Rehashing it makes it hurt worse.

"It didn't stop until they got divorced." I whispered. My throat aches.

"Did he… Did he ever hit you?" Clay asked in a quiet voice. I shook my head.

"No. He used to shake me, but he never hit me. That's how the nightmares started. I don't want to talk about anything else, tonight. Please." I whispered.

I felt thick, hot tears run down my face. I clamped my mouth shut, and cried silently.

"Of course, baby. I'm so sorry you went through that. I'm glad you told me. You don't have to be brave for me. You don't have to put on a front." He whispered. I felt him turn me over so I was facing him. I looked away and started mopping my face with my hands. I looked back at him, slowly.

He moved a hand to my back and slipped it underneath the hem of my shirt. His hand travelled up my back and stopped. He moved closer to me. My breath hitched. He kissed my neck and started sucking, lightly. My eyes fluttered closed. He moved his lips to my collarbone. I let out a small gasp.

-.-

Derek's POV

-.-

Z's father did what? What kind of sick fuck would blame a kid for something that she had absolutely no control over? My mind was reeling. He better hope that I never meet him.

First thing tomorrow, after Clay leaves, I've got to talk to Z. It doesn't matter if she gets pissed because I was eavesdropping…. I need to know that I'm here for her and she doesn't have to go through this alone. I just…. I can't believe she never told me.

I turned my head and pressed my ear to Z's bedroom door, not sure what I was hearing. This time I know what I heard. I heard a soft moan. There's no mistaking Z's sounds. I clenched my fists but couldn't seem to make myself move away from my spot; I was rooted.

-.-

Lizzie's POV

-.-

I let out a shaky breath. Oh my God, I feel like I can't breathe when he's touching me, but I don't want him to stop. I'm on fire, when I'm with him. His hand raked my side and moved higher on my back.

"Don't stop Clay. I don't want to think about anything for awhile. I want this. I want _you_." I gasped in a low voice. He pulled me closer to him and moved backward so I was on his lap, straddling him. I can't hear anything over our heavy breathing.

Clay slid my shirt off and tossed it aside. I shuddered as the cold air met my skin. He bit his lip as he took in my body. I closed my eyes and looked away. I can't tell what he's thinking.

"You're so beautiful, Elle." He whispered. I opened my eyes and looked back at him. I only see sincerity in his eyes. I shook my head with a small smile.

"You're turn." I told him in a hoarse voice. He smirked and ripped his shirt off. I started at his chest, mesmerized. I traced his abdomen with my fingertips, using feather-light strokes. He groaned. I leaned forward and nipped at his mouth.

He buried a hand in my hair and pulled my face close to his and dominated my mouth. I moaned into him. I locked my arms around him waist and moved my waist until I was comfortable. Clay detached his mouth from mine and groaned.

"Fuck Elle, don't stop." He told me, quietly. He put a hand on each hip and kept my rocking going. I kept gyrating my hips until he was hitting the right spot. I moaned, quietly. I leaned my head on his shoulder and started kissing his skin. I started with his chest and worked my way up. I love the way his breath hitches.

-.-

Derek's POV

-.-

The fuck? There is no way in hell I'm going to sit here and listen to Clay get a piece of ass… especially when it's a piece of Z's ass that he's getting.

I moved from her door and grabbed my phone. Let's see what Destiny is up to.

-.-

Lizzie's POV

-.-

Before it even registered, I was on back and Clay was on top of me. His lips slammed against mine. I leaned into the kiss, fighting for control. He wedged my mouth open and slipped his tongue inside. I love the taste of him. Our mouths kept clashing, the kiss relentless. His hand traveled down my side, and rested on my thigh. He brought my leg up, slowly, and hooked it around his waist, so we were closer together.

We started grinding against each other. I struggled to keep my eyes open. I felt his hands on me, again. They found their way back to my back. His fingers slipped underneath my bra clasp and he started to slide my bra off.

We locked eyes. I almost melted under the intensity of his stare. No one has looked at me like this before.

"We can stop." He whispered. He stilled, so I knew he was serious. I shook my head.

"Not yet." I told him. He nodded and let my bra fall away, completely. I leaned forward and kissed his jaw line. He grunted and I pressed myself completely against him, chest to chest. We explored the top halves of each other's bodies.

He moved his mouth back to my neck. I make incoherent noises and ground my hips against his, with a new profound need. His gentle sucking was too much. I moaned his name.

"We… We need to stop." I breathed. If we don't stop now… I'm not going to want to stop later. And I'm not ready to go all of the way with him. He nodded and lay next to me, panting like I was. "God, that was…" I tried to say.

"Awesome." He finished for me. I nodded. "If you ever need a distraction like that again, feel free to ask me anytime." He said, smirking. I giggled.

"Sure thing," I agreed. I moved to pull a blanket over my chest, but he moved to stop me.

"Don't cover up just yet. You shouldn't hide such a beautiful body." He whispered as he turned onto his side to kiss me.

"Mm… I can't stay like this. I've gotta wear something." I told him. His eyes raked over my body and he bit his lip.

"I can fix that." He said, with a slight smile. I looked at him, questioningly as I covered up with a blanket. He got off of my bed and picked up one of my sports bras off of the floor and his shirt. "Can I dress you?" He asked. I nodded. I sat up and he put my sports bra on me, followed by his band tee. I giggled.

"Can I keep the basketball shorts on?" I asked him. He shook his head. I laid back down. "I guess you better take them off, then." I told him, with a smirk. He grinned. "You can always wear them… instead of your jeans… If you want to stay the night." I told him, with a smile.

"I'd love to." He told me. He leaned over me, slightly, and pulled my shorts off. He smiled down at me. I winked at him and he chuckled. He got of the bed, gingerly and looked over at me until he was sure that he had my attention. He unbuttoned his jeans, slowly, and continued to strip out of them even slower. Once they were off he bit his lip and put on the shorts that I had been wearing.

"Get your ass over here, so I can go to sleep." I told him, tiredly. He chuckled and obeyed. He crawled into bed with me and got comfortable. I turned onto my stomach and laid my head on his chest and closed my eyes.

-.-

"Do you think we should wake them?" I heard someone whisper. I was too groggy to place the voice. I snuggled closer to my pillow. I felt arms tighten around me as I scooted closer to the warmth around me. I opened my eyes. My eyes met a smiling Clay. I gave him a small smile back. I shifted and looked around to find the voice. I froze.

"Morning Lizard," Mom said oddly happily. I didn't even consider the fact that I could get into some serious trouble if Clay stayed over…. Crap.

"Morning," I mumbled, still trying to wake up. "Are you mad?" I asked quietly. Mom and George chuckled.

"I admit I was surprised. I didn't expect to find Clay in bed with you, but I trust you. I'm glad he makes you happy." Mom said. Am I still dreaming? I blinked my eyes, furiously. Yep, definitely awake… Mom and George left the room and shut the door behind them. I detangled myself from Clay and sat up. I looked at him and ran a hand through my hair.

"I can't believe that just happened." I told him, quietly.

"Would you change it if you could?" Clay asked, moving closer to me. I shook my head.

"No. It was… Overwhelming… Good…. I didn't have nightmares last night. I like being with you." I meant what I said. I do like being with him. I'm just not sure if that's enough. He leaned forward to kiss me, but I shook my head. "I need to brush my teeth first." I told him. He cracked a smile before pulling me to him.

"I'll risk it." He told me, planting his lips firmly on mine. I smiled into the kiss.

-.-

We walked downstairs, holding hands. We sat down next to Marti at the table. Mom made breakfast. Clay put an arm around me as everyone chatted animatedly. I felt Derek's eyes on me, but I avoided his gaze.

Casey started talking and I looked up. My eyes locked with Derek's.

"We need to talk." He mouthed.

"No." I mouthed back.

"It's important." He mouthed back. I nodded.

"Later," I mouthed. He nodded. I sighed. What could he want, now?

**Author's Note: As always, feel free to review. :D**

**XOXO**

**~Anneryn**


	13. Chapter 10

**Author's Note: Alight guys, this is M rated for a reason. There is a lot of smut in the chapter. So, you've been warned.**

**I DO NOT OWN LIFE WITH DEREK OR THE CHARACTERS.**

Chapter Ten:

I can't believe we actually took things that far… I don't regret it, any of it. But, I didn't plan on doing that with Clay, either. He's so easy to talk to. In some ways, he's the complete opposite of Derek. And no matter how much I try to deny it, I can't ignore the fact that he enchants me. I can't concentrate on anything else, when he's touching me. Little by little… I can feel myself falling for him. I love having him there, and right now, that's enough.

"Lizard, I'm going to shopping with Casey and Marti. George took Edwin to a monster truck rally, earlier. We'd love to have you come with us." Mom told me, wistfully. I looked over at her, letting her bring me out of my thoughts and back into reality.

"I'm game, Nora." Derek told her, with a small smile.

"Are you feeling alright Derek? You've never gone with us willingly, to the mall." Mom said, amused. I chuckled.

"There are some things that I need to pick up." He said, nonchalantly. "So, how 'bout it, Z?" He asked, looking at me. I felt the intensity of his stare and became suddenly aware that Clay was stroking my hand.

"I think I'll pass, this time. But, thanks." I told Mom. She smiled and nodded.

-.-

Everyone left. The house was quiet and Clay wanted to stay over. I told everyone that I was tired, but I'm not so sure that everyone bought my excuse.

"You know… we could pick off where we left off last night." Clay told me, softly. I looked over at him, and gave him a slow smile.

"Here, in the living room?" I teased, turning my body, so I was facing him on the couch.

"If that's what gets you hot," he whispered, huskily. I bit my lip and climbed over him, so I was straddling his lap.

"Is this what you want?" I asked him, in a sultry voice. He nodded and moved his hands to my lower back, bringing me closer. "Tell me what you want." I whispered.

"You, baby. God, only you." He told me, looking me in the eye.

"You've got me." I told him. He leaned forward and ran his tongue over my lip.

"This is about you. It's all about you." He said, right before he started fucking my mouth with his tongue.

"We should take this upstairs… I don't want to get caught." I whimpered as I felt him start to rock against me. He nibbled on my neck as I tried to catch my breath. I grunted and rolled my hips. He slid his hands under my shirt, and over my bra. I let out a small moan. He brushed his thumb over nipple; even through the fabric, it sent shivers through my body.

"Get a fucking room." I heard someone growl. I jumped and almost fell off of Clay's lap. Clay managed to keep me steady. I looked at him, mortified. I maneuvered out of his hands and tugged my shirt down. "It would probably be best if you left, Clay." Derek threatened. I climbed off of his lap and turned around to face Derek.

"You weren't supposed to be here." I said, lamely.

"Get out." Derek told Clay, quietly. Clay stood up and looked at me.

"Hey man, calm down." Clay told him, calmly.

"It's okay. Just go. I'll be fine." I told him, quietly. He leaned forward and kissed me, gently. He looked at Derek and left.

"What the fuck are you thinking? Fucking around on the couch? Are you serious?" Derek roared. It took all of my self control not to shrivel in front of him.

"We weren't fucking, Derek." I told him, quietly. Oh my God. He just caught us… on the couch. Holy shit... Did that actually happen?

"You better get your ass upstairs, before I carry you." He told me in a venomous voice.

"And if I don't?" I asked him, slightly defiantly. He grabbed my arm and practically dragged me towards the staircase. My heart is beating so fast, I can't hear anything else. He lifted me up and slung me over his back. I was too scared to fight it. He got to my room and threw me onto my bed. He kicked the door shut and locked it.

He walked over to the bed and moved next to me. He looks so angry. His eyes are dark, wanting and livid. His gazed darkened and focused on me. He pushed me all the way back onto the bed and climbed over me.

He ran his hands over my stomach and pushed my shirt up. He looked me in the eye as he started touching me in all of the ways that he saw Clay touching me, on the couch.

"Is this how you like it? I can do so much better than he can." Derek told me, as his eyes undressed me. He pulled me to him, so he was all but straddling my legs. He lifted my shirt and threw it aside.

"Why?" I asked him, trying to not let him distract me with his touch.

"Because it should be me," he finally said, as he pushed me back onto the bed.

"You didn't want me, before." I whispered as he ran his fingers along my panty line. He pulled down my shorts and moved off of me, so he could pull them off, easily.

"I've always wanted you. You're all I can think about." He growled. He lowered himself on top of me. He pulled his shirt off and moved closer. I looked at his chest, hypnotized by his rapid breathing.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked him, as he looked over my body.

"I couldn't… But, you need to know." He started to say.

"Know what?" I asked.

"I love you." He said as he slammed his lips onto my own. I grunted as he explored every inch of my top half with his finger tips. He took my hand in his and moved it his abdomen, and slowly dragged it down. I unbuttoned his jeans with his help. He slipped my hand inside, and had me touch him through his boxers.

I looked into his eyes as he moved my hand up and down, so I was stroking him. I can feel how hard he is, even through the thin material. He grunted.

"God, can't you feel how much I want you?" He asked, more to himself than to anyone else. "I hate seeing you with him." He said, louder. I pulled down his boxers, just enough so he could slip my hand inside. He hissed as he moved my hand over him. I gasped. This is surreal. "Lizzie, if you don't stop, we're not going to be able to…" I moved my hand out of his grip. "Do you trust me, Z?" Derek asked.

"Of course, I do…" I whispered. He pulled his boxers up and moved his hands to my waist. He started massaging me through my panties. I whimpered and arched my back against him, unable to stop myself. "Fuck," I muttered.

He moved his fingers inside of my panties and started rubbing my sensitive spot. I moaned and held onto his back for support. He slipped two fingers inside of me and started scissoring. I started to lose focus of anything except for Derek and my senses.

"God…" I moaned. He kept working his magic fingers. I rocked my hips against his hand.

"You don't know how long I've wanted this, Z. Now that we've started, I'm never gonna be able to let you go." Derek said softly, as he worked his fingers harder. I bit my lip as I started to tremble. I moaned and knew that I was so close. "Come for me, baby." Derek commanded, seductively. His words set me off. I gasped his name and felt a wave of bliss take me over.

"Fuck! Derek!" I cried. He didn't stop, just made his movements harder. I ground my womanhood against his hand. As I came down from my high, I inched away from him, trying to catch my breath.

"You have no idea how sexy you look right now." Derek said, as he ran his eyes over my body. He bit his lip. "You don't regret this, do you?" He asked.

"I could never regret you." I told him, quietly.

"Really?" He asked with a slow smirk. "Why's that Z?" He asked.

"You know I love you." I told him, avoiding his gaze. He smiled and moved closer to me. He pushed me back onto the bed.

"Lay there. You have no idea how much you turn me on." He told me, still watching me. I opened my mouth to ask him where he was going with this, but he beat me to it. "I don't want to ask you to anything that you're not ready for…" He said, simply.

He moved his wet fingers to his mouth and sucked them clean. He moved to the other side of the bed and pulled himself out of his boxers. He stayed on his knees and started stroking himself with his hand. I looked at him, mesmerized. I couldn't look away. He locked eyes with me.

"Lizzie, take off your bra." He told me, quietly. I sat up, still holding his gaze. I pulled my straps down and slowly reached behind me and undid the clasp. He bit his lip. I let the bra fall onto the bed.

He moved his hands faster. Just watching him… makes me crazy. I need him touching me. He moved even faster. My name fell from his lips.

"Fuck, Z." He moaned. His breathing grew sporadic and I saw him fighting to keep his eyes open. We never broke our eye contact. He came and started shooting out, over his hand and spraying my discarded shirt.

"God," I said, quietly. He sat there, just looking at me. He grabbed a tissue from my bedside table and started cleaning up, what he could. I crawled off of the bed and grabbed my robe off the floor and put it on. I left the room and went to the bathroom and cleaned up. I walked into Derek as he followed behind me. He pushed me back into the bathroom. I waited with him as he cleaned up. Part of me never realized that he was this dominant, and part of me likes it.

He took my hand and we went back to my room. He got our clothes and threw them in the wash. I changed into a tank top and basketball shorts. When he came back into my room, he had on a loose pair of pajama pants.

He got into bed with me. I closed my eyes and gave up fighting sleep. What does all of this mean?

**Author's Note: Alright, well, I'm honestly not sure what I think about this chapter. BUT here it is. Let me know whatcha think. **

**XOXO**

**~Anneryn**


	14. Chapter 11

**Author's Note: Hey guys, sorry about the insane delay. Here's a chapter for ya. I'll have a new chapter up soon. Enjoy.**

**I DO NOT OWN LIFE WITH DEREK OR THE CHARACTERS.**

Chapter Eleven:

I waited for Derek to wake up. I watched him sleep for almost an hour. I swear that boy could sleep forever, if you let him. I gave up and walked over and turned on my stereo.

_And I was like, 'Baby, baby, baby, oh...'_

_Like, 'Baby, baby, baby, oh…'_

_Like, 'Baby, baby, baby, oh…'_

He jumped awake and sat up, trying to figure out where the loud noises were coming from. He grimaced.

"Z, turn that shit off." He lay back down and covered his face with a pillow. I smirked. Annoying him awake always works the fastest.

"We need to talk, Derek." I sat on the bed next to him.

"Those words coming from a girl's mouth is never a good sign." He sat up and focused on me. He looks so sexy with bed head.

"I need to know what this is and what we're doing or there isn't going to be an 'us'." I told him. His jaw dropped.

"This couldn't wait until later?"

"No, we need to talk about this, now." I didn't back down.

"Look, things are always going to be complicated with us. As much as I want things to be different, it doesn't change the fact that you're still my stepsister and I'm your stepbrother. I want there to be an 'us'. I thought I made that much clear, last night. And as for what we're doing… We can't be like a normal couple, Z. We're going to have to keep up appearances. We can't cuddle around the house, or go on dates. Everyone knows who we are." He looked at me after he finished his speech. I bit my lip. I asked for this. Hell, I wanted this. I knew that it was going to messy and that it would be complicated and there was no way that it was going to be easy.

"Okay. Let's say that there is an 'us'. Are you still going to date around?" I asked. My voice cracked. He looked down, avoiding my eyes.

"I knew you wouldn't like this… If I don't… then dad and Nora are going to know that there is something fishy going on. When haven't I dated someone?" He asked seriously. I shrugged. I know that he's right.

"You're going to have to stop acting so fucking bipolar, then. I'm not going to put up with you treating me like crap just because you see me with Clay. If you're going to be dating around to keep your 'cover', then I can't break up with Clay." I told him, seriously. He looked pissed.

"I don't want you seeing him."

"You're going to have to get over it. You don't think they'd pick up on something if I broke things off with him out of the blue?"

"I don't care. I don't want his hands all over you."

"And you think that I want you screwing other girls?" I demanded. He looked pained. "I'm not naïve. I know what you do with them. I'm not a child. And I don't appreciate you treating me like one. You're going to continue to see other people, so I expect you to be okay with me doing the same." I got up and walked over to my bedroom door. I held it opened. "You should go. Just… think about it, because unless you cool your mood swings… this isn't going to work."

"I know that you're right. I just… I don't like it. I'll keep it under control. I don't want to lose you because I can't control myself." He whispered. I nodded and watched him leave. I shut my door and lay back down on my bed.

Wow. We've been dodging that issue for so long and it's finally solved… I hope. I just hope he meant what he said. I can't keep my mind off of what happened last night… I can't believe we went that far. It's unreal. He made me feel so… He made me feel things I've never felt before.

-.-

I opened my eyes and blinked, clearing away the grogginess. I hadn't realized that I had fallen asleep. My phone went off. I answered it, sleepily.

"Hello," my voice was raspy from sleeping.

"Well, hello, to you, too." Clay mused. I smiled.

"How are you, Handsome?" I hate that I have to lie to him.

"Just talking to my beautiful girl and wondering if she's busy today."

"No, I'm busy free."

"Awesome. Get dressed. I'll be over in an hour to pick you up."

"Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise." He hung up. I hate surprises. Hopefully, this will be a good one.

**Author's Note: It's short, I know. I have the next few chapters planned out. I'm not sure how many more chapters this fic has left. SO I'll probably be wrapping it up soon. **

**Xo Xo**

**Anneryn**


	15. Chapter 12

**Author's Note: Alright guys, sorry about the wait. This is more of a filler chapter than anything. I'm going to wrap up this fic in one or two chapters. Thanks for sticking with it. Enjoy.**

**I DO NOT OWN LIFE WITH DEREK OR THE CHARACTERS.**

Chapter Twelve:

It didn't take me long to get dressed. I had more than enough time to shower and take my time getting ready. I went all out, make-up and all. Casey would be proud.

"And where are you going looking all sexy?" Derek asked from behind me.

"Out. Clay called awhile ago. He should be here to pick me up, soon." I told him, eyeing his reaction from the mirror as I finished my hair.

"You weren't bluffing about not breaking it off with him were you?"

"No. You're dating other girls. I don't see how it's any different. Your double standards aren't going to work. I told you before. You know the terms. Take it or leave it. I'm not doing this awkward dance longer than I have to."

"I'll take it. Any way I can have you is enough." He agreed. I stood up and faced him.

"Good – I've waited a long time for you. Don't screw it up now." I told him. He slipped a hand under my skirt and started toying with me before I could protest. I put my hands on his shoulders to support myself, as he made my knees weak.

"While you're out with him, you can think about me, and what I do to you and your body. And just think, when you're home later, I'm going to make your body scream with pleasure." He whispered as his playing continued.

"The things you do to me."

**Author's Note: Someone finds out of their relationship. Find out who it is next chapter. Reviews are awesome.**

**Xo Xo**

**Anneryn**


	16. Chapter 13

**Author's Note: Sorry about the delay. Here's another chapter for ya. Enjoy.**

**I DO NOT OWN LIFE WITH DEREK OR THE CHARACTERS.**

Chapter Thirteen:

I kicked off my shoes after getting home from my date with Clay. I had fun, but I hate lying to him. I do have feelings for him, but they don't match his. I know he's going to catch on sooner or later. I know what I told Derek. But, I can't just lead someone on. It's not who I am. It never has been.

I sighed and flung myself onto my bed. I jumped as arms grabbed me. I started hitting them away. Who's in my bed?

"Don't touch me!" I yelled.

"Relax Z, it's just me." Derek chuckled. I kept hitting his hands.

"You're such an asshole."

"You like it." He crushed his lips to mine and took off my shirt. I whimpered against his mouth. He sat up and pulled me to him. I straddled him. His hands kept my hips in place.

"Lizzie! Is everything okay?" Edwin busted through my door. I jumped and looked at the door. Ed stood there, mouth gaping open. "Oh my God. Oh my God."

He just stood there. I froze. Derek lifted me off of him. I covered myself. Derek got off my bed and walked over to Edwin.

"It's not what you think Ed." He whispered.

"Then what is it Derek?" He looked from me to Derek.

"I love her Ed. You can't tell Dad and Nora. _Please_." Derek pleaded. Ed nodded, slowly.

"Sorry, it's a lot to process. I mean, this is crazy. You know that right?" He asked. We both nodded. "I guess I should have figured it out sooner. It explains why you always acted like a jerk whenever Lizzie had Clay over… I-I won't say anything." Ed promised.

"Thank you. That means a lot." I told him, softly. He nodded.

"One condition." He added.

"What is it?" Derek asked.

"You break things off with Clay. You're better than that, Lizzie."

"Okay." I looked away. I knew it was just a matter of time. It needs to happen.

"Does anyone else know?" Ed asked. I nodded. Derek looked confused.

"Casey and Emily know. Please, just don't say anything."

"I won't."

-.-

Derek went back to his room. I laid staring at my ceiling. There's no way I'm sleeping tonight. We were so careless. We need to be more careful. I pulled out my phone.

_Can you come over tomorrow? I need to see you. It's important._

I sent a text to Clay's phone. He should get it in the morning. I want to break up with him in person.

**Author's Note: One or two more chapters before this if over. Reviews are love.**

**-Anneryn**


	17. Chapter 14

**Author's Note: Alright guys, so sorry! I didn't realize that this chapter was never uploaded. :( My definite bad! Sorry!**

** I DO NOT OWN LIFE WITH DEREK OR THE CHARACTERS.**

Chapter Fourteen:

I woke up with my stomach in knots. I can't believe we were that sloppy last night. I mentally kicked myself. How's Clay gonna take it. I'm so nervous. He's supposed to come over after he gets off work, tonight.

"Hey Z, you up?" Derek asked, peeking his head into my room. I looked over at him and nodded.

"I'm up." I sat up and ran a hand through my hair.

"Great, get ready. We're going on a walk. I'm taking you to the woods. I think you could use some peace of mind." He left me to get ready. Well, if he really wants me to go, he can wait for me to shower. I grabbed some clothes and headed to the bathroom. The shower was over way too quickly. I'm kind of dreading the walk with Derek, as much as I'm looking forward to it. I just hate that I have to hurt Clay. He's a good guy, and I should have broken things off with him a long time ago.

-.-

"Lizzie, what's on your mind?" Derek asked as we walked. I shrugged. "You still worried about Clay?" He asked. I nodded. "I know you're worried about hurting him, but stringing him along longer would just hurt him more. You don't want that." He reasoned. He's right. I know he's right, but that doesn't mean that I have to like it. "If it makes you feel any better, I won't see anyone else, either. It's not fair to you or to anyone else. I don't want anyone else Z. I just want you."

"Why couldn't you just admit that in the first place? It would have made things so much easier, Derek." I sighed.

"I'm saying it now, and that's got to count for something, right?" He pulled me to him and his hands settled on my waist. I nodded.

"It's better late than never." I agreed. He smirked and kissed me. I pulled him closer to me. We stayed that way for what seemed like forever.

-.-  
Clay's POV

It's been a crazy couple of days. I don't know how things are going with Elle. We haven't really talked that much. She wants me to come over and talk later, but I have a sinking feeling in my gut. I know she's been distracted. It's like she has feelings for someone else, but… I'm just being paranoid. She's never even mentioned another guy. As far as I know, I'm the only one that she's ever really dated.

I tried to concentrate on my surroundings and enjoy being away from everything. Just walking is helping clear my head. I haven't been out here since I was younger. I used to come out here with my mom. Whenever she'd have a bad day, we'd take a stroll through the woods. It was our ritual.

I can't even remember the last time that we were out here. Things have been pretty good lately. The past couple of days have been kind of stressful, but apart from that, things have been good. Even so, it's nice to be out here.

I started humming to myself. Wait, are those voices? I've never seen anyone else out here. It's not really a private spot, but normally people steer clear of the woods. I'm not really sure why.

That sounds like Derek. What's he doing out here? I kept walking, trying to hear better.

"Lizzie, what's on your mind? You still worried about Clay? I know you're worried about hurting him, but stringing him along longer would just hurt him more. You don't want that. If it makes you feel any better, I won't see anyone else, either. It's not fair to you or anyone else. I don't want anyone else Z. I just want you." Derek said, softly.

What?! So, that's why he's overprotective. I can't believe it. Why didn't she tell me? I feel so stupid. I've been chasing after a girl who's hooked on her stepbrother.

"Why couldn't you just admit that in the first place? It would have made things so much easier, Derek." Lizzie said. I can see them, now. They're in a clearing. They can't see me, there's too much in the way. They look so… happy together. I just want her to be happy. That's all I really wanted, really.

"I'm saying it now, and that's got to count for something, right?" Derek moved closer to her. I hate watching this, but I can't tear my eyes away.

"It's better late than never." Lizzie told him. They started kissing. Elle and I haven't been together for that long; maybe we can still be friends without it being too awkward. I guess I can understand why didn't want me to know. Maybe she was in denial, herself…. Is that what she wanted me to come over for? So she could break it off?

I guess I'll see when I go see her, later. I have a lot to think about.

**Author's Note: Sorry, again guys.**

** Xo Xo  
Anneryn**


	18. Chapter 15

**I DO NOT OWN LIFE WITH DEREK OR THE CHARACTERS.**

Chapter Fifteen:

I all but floated back to the house. Clay should be over any time, now. Mom and George took Marti and Ed somewhere for the day, so we shouldn't be interrupted. I'm sick to my stomach with nerves. I don't know how to do this. I've never had to break up with anyone, before.

The doorbell rang. I opened the door and saw Clay. He looks awful. My face fell. "What happened?" I asked him. He smirked.

"Can I come inside?" He asked. I nodded and stepped aside. I shut the door behind him. "Are we alone?" He asked.

"We're the only ones home." I told him.

"I know about you and Derek." He told me.

"How?"

"I saw you together in the woods."

"I am so, beyond sorry, Clay. I never wanted to hurt you. I care for you. I really do, but I love Derek. I've tried so hard not to feel anything for him. I know how wrong it is. I know that we'll never be accepted, because he's my step-brother."

"Elle, you don't have to explain this to me. Why didn't you tell me?" He asked.

"Because I didn't want you to look at me like you are now."

"You broke my heart, Elle. I'm falling for you and you're already with someone else." He hissed. My eyes started to sting. I tried to hold my tears back.

"I'm so sorry for that." I trembled. He sighed and pulled me into his chest.

"I don't want you out of my life. Maybe we can start slow, as friends. I'm not going to tell anyone your secret. And I'm not going to pretend that I don't have feelings for you, either. If things don't work out with Derek, I'm here. And if you decide that he's not the one you want, I'm here, too." He vowed. I smiled.

"You want to stay friends?" I asked to clarify.

"I don't want to lose you, not completely." He nodded.

"Alright, friends?" I asked him.

"One last kiss? You owe me that much, Elle." Clay murmured. He cupped my cheek and brought his lips down to mine. I gasped. He moved his tongue into mine and tasted me, one last time. He held me tighter and heated things up. His arms roamed my body. I nipped his bottom lip. He smiled and kissed me again. I pulled away and looked up at him.

"If you ever need anything, let me know." He whispered, kissing me, softly.

"Right back at you." I told him. He smiled, sadly.

"I should go. I need to start getting over you." He kissed my temple and turned towards the door.

"Thank you, Clay. I don't deserve this." I tried to apologize, again.

"Later, Elle." He left, taking one last look at me. After he left, my phone went off.

"Is he gone?" Derek asked.

"Yeah, he's gone."

"Okay, I'll be over in a minute." He hung up. He was hanging out with Emily at her place. It didn't take him long. "It's over?" He asked me. I nodded. "How'd he take it?"

"He already knew, but he said he would keep it to himself. I let him down easy."

"How easy?" He raised his eyebrow.

"Very," I told him.

"He touched you?"

"A little."

"You kissed him?"

"Yes." I told him.

"You know how jealous I get…" He picked me up and carried me upstairs. "Looks like it's my turn with you." He smirked.


	19. Chapter 16

**I DO NOT OWN LIFE WITH DEREK OR ITS CHARACTERS.**

Chapter Sixteen:

"I've wanted this for so long, Derek. You have no idea." I whispered. He licked his lips and started pulling off my clothes. I leaned up and kissed him and started yanking on his.

"God, Z. I want you, so bad." He groaned.

"I love you, Derek."

"I love you, too." He smiled. For the first, everything is going right. For the first time, I really feel like we have a chance. For the first time, I'm not scared of anything. Everything is perfect.

-.-

**Author's Note: Incredibly short chapter, but I wanted to keep things simple. There will be a epilogue to finish everything off. Thank you for sticking with me. You all are awesome. Much love.**

**-Anneryn**


	20. Chapter 17

**I DO NOT OWN LIFE WITH DEREK OR THE CHARACTERS.**

Chapter Seventeen/Epilogue:

It's been about a year since Derek and I got together, officially. Clay and I are best friends, despite the dating drama that we went through. He's been surprisingly great with Derek, too. I still can't believe they hit it off.

Trying to keep our relationship from our parents proved to be impossible. Mom and George walked in on us kissing goodbye one day – needless to say, shit hit the fan. Slowly, very slowly, they came around. We're not related by blood, and that was the big seller. They realized that being together is what had been making us so happy the past few months. Casey was a big help calming down the parental front.

Being together in public, still takes some getting used to. I start university in a couple of months, so we'll see how that goes. Derek talked about sharing a place together. I'm nervous, but we've lived together before. The only difference is we'll be the only ones living there.

Marti swears up and down that we'll get married some day. As for our relationship, we're taking it about as slow as we can muster while keeping our hands on each other. We slept together as soon as we got together. We've definitely slowed that down. The idea of getting down and dirty while our family is clustered downstairs is definitely a turn off.

"Z where's your head at?" Derek asked me, pulling me onto his lap. I blinked and smiled.

"I'm just thinking about everything that's happened this past year." I told him.

"Do you regret it?"

"Not a chance," I pressed my mouth to his.

"I love you." He whispered.

"Not as much as I love you."

**A/N: Thanks for sticking with me. It's FINALLY finished. I tried to wrap everything up. : )  
-Anneryn**


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